Merry Christmas SaSu!

[marksofdespair]

I know that lots of us have probably been dreading today. Pretending to be happy and having to suck up your depression for social interaction is draining. I hope that no matter your situation, your day can be somewhat tolerable and okay. Unfortunately, today doesn't really feel special, my depression has taken over too much for Christmas to mean anything to me.

What are you guys doing for Christmas? (If anything at all) If you're going to be spending the day with people, do you find it hard to put on a facade?
Even if you don't celebrate, I hope you can make it through the day okay.

 

[carfemtanyl]

Merry Christmas

I spent some time with my family including my grandma, might be her last Christmas, might be my last Christmas, who knows.

 

[darksouls]

hopefully, I am so sick of it all

 

[alstroemeria55]

I wish, I'm so fucking done

 

[Dawnfang11]

I know that lots of us have probably been dreading today. Pretending to be happy and having to suck up your depression for social interaction is draining. I hope that no matter your situation, your day can be somewhat tolerable and okay. Unfortunately, today doesn't really feel special, my depression has taken over too much for Christmas to mean anything to me.

What are you guys doing for Christmas? (If anything at all) If you're going to be spending the day with people, do you find it hard to put on a facade?
Even if you don't celebrate, I hope you can make it through the day okay.

You said it. I'm seeing a lot of people over the holidays. Friends, family etc. For me, what's harder than putting up a facade, as you said, is knowing this is the last time I see these people. Saw a good friend yesterday and I was thinking "how do I give them a goodbye worthy of being the final one without arousing suspicion."

 

[unluckysadness]

Very strange Xmas for me. It's the first time my older brother (49) seems to care about me. He criticized me all my life and now I'm disabled he cares about me but it's too late. And this morning I was angry after my mother because she treats me like a child (she castrated me and overprotected me and it ruined my life). She didn't understand why I was angry but in fact, I'm angry against MYSELF first because I suffer too much. Now I'm back in my apartment (alone as everyday) and I just want to end it. I feel guilty about hiding my suicidal plans. I hope they will forgive me.

 

[ABadPerson]

Merry Christmas, I won't have to pretend as I'll be spending it alone this year, simply ignoring anyone who tries to drag me into any celebration.

 

[ScaredtoTry]

Merry Christmas, I should be grateful for all I have but I'm just reminded about how I've wasted it all. Comparing my life to all the happy and successful families out there. feeling like a complete failure, hopeless and alone even tho I'm surrounded by family.

 

[Nihilisticstatic]

Merry Christmas to all.
I hope everyone can have a pleasant day and get some relaxing time :]

 

[BillyBob]

Merry Christmas all who are here. At least this year is coming to an end now, but a new cycle begins :(

 

[madwoman]

Merry Christmas I'm mostly in a bubble trying to forget my depression and CTB plans (I can't entirely ofc) but I am spending it alone so not masking here. I am just spending it reading, watching christmassy stuff, going to make a good pasta meal. Distracting myself with fiction which is always what I do. And want to take a walk to look at the lights if the weather is okay. Since I decided I wasn't ctb this year, I'm trying to enjoy the rest of the year doing my simple homebody cozy stuff. January is when the doom will come back & I'll deal with reality then

 

[FuneralCry]

More than anything I wish it's the last year suffering in this torturous, futile existence, to suffer in this existence is a punishment and I could never see how this something to celebrate rather all I want is to be permanently free from the dreadful, deeply undesirable abomination of existence that just causes so much pain, suffering and problems there were never a need for with no limit as to how much one can be tortured and the suffering this evil existence causes is endless with existing beings tortured in agony every second.

As long as I exist I'll only hope for beautiful non-existence where I'm finally unconscious with all gone and forgotten, all that's beautiful to me is being permanently unable to suffer and I'll always see existing as only suffering, it's just so horrific to me how a human can be tortured in this existence for decades longer just to face the extreme agony of old age, I just wish humans wouldn't punish others by burdening them with this existence, it's so evil how painless death is made illegal even know existence truly is the problem.

 

[daruino]

Yes, it was difficult for me to get through the christmas night(s), with the conscience that these experiences are probably going to be my last..
Yes, it was difficult for me to get through the christmas night(s), knowing these experiences are probably going to be my last..
Yes, it was difficult for me to get through the christmas night(s), knowing these experiences are probably going to be my last..

 

[DontTouchMeImFamous]

Merry Christmas to all of you!

 

[madameviolette]

Yes

Merry Christmas SaSu members

 

[EternalShore]

Merry Christmas, everyone~ ^_^ I hope today is nice to you, even if the rest of our lives certainly aren't~ >_< I hope you may persevere through the annoyances and feelings, if there are any~ :)