Tiktok

Tiktok

Member
Feb 21, 2020
30
Ordered SN and just waiting for it to arrive.
but whenever i think about my own suicide, i start crying. i want to mentally prepare myself for my own death, so when the SN actually arrives, i won't pussy out because of fear or death.
(yes, i'm absolutely certain i want to die).
any help?
 
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rikamonie

rikamonie

Experienced
Jun 3, 2020
290
Ordered SN and just waiting for it to arrive.
but whenever i think about my own suicide, i start crying. i want to mentally prepare myself for my own death, so when the SN actually arrives, i won't pussy out because of fear or death.
(yes, i'm absolutely certain i want to die).
any help?

i also feel like that, mostly because my life was going well, i had a future until a week ago, i have always been depressed and suicidal from a young age and finally i had hope for life but it was cruelly snatched away so now im back to where i started, im just going to have to do it and cry while i go it wont last for long and the pain will all be over soon, much better than suffering painfully everyday
 
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moonchild

moonchild

Student
May 8, 2020
125
I'm sorry you feel like that, I relate a lot to crying when it feels close. What is it that makes you cry about it? I mean, what aspects?
 
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wantingtheend

Member
Apr 15, 2020
21
same here. that's why I want a partner to take away that fear
 
Tiktok

Tiktok

Member
Feb 21, 2020
30
I'm sorry you feel like that, I relate a lot to crying when it feels close. What is it that makes you cry about it? I mean, what aspects?
idk just envisioning my suicide and imagine how my dead body will look like, also the fact that i won't be able to tell how people react to my death.
imagining how my body will be found is still something i can't fully envision.
and also crying about the moments before i take the SN being fully aware it's going to be my last day of my life.
 
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L

Living sucks

Forced out of life before I wanted to leave
Mar 27, 2020
3,143
idk just envisioning my suicide and imagine how my dead body will look like, also the fact that i won't be able to tell how people react to my death.
imagining how my body will be found is still something i can't fully envision.
and also crying about the moments before i take the SN being fully aware it's going to be my last day of my life.
You don't want to die, you want the pain in life to end. Seek more help. Hypnosis? Psychotherapy? EFT?
 
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yetme

yetme

Arcanist
Oct 20, 2019
486
Ordered SN and just waiting for it to arrive.
but whenever i think about my own suicide, i start crying. i want to mentally prepare myself for my own death, so when the SN actually arrives, i won't pussy out because of fear or death.
(yes, i'm absolutely certain i want to die).
any help?

are you sure you are ready for it? my advise would be stash the SN until you are absolutely sure that you have no other options left. Having an exit plan will reassure you.
 
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A

AnxietyAttack44

I just wanna go to my husband already.
Jun 5, 2020
1,092
I feel the same way. I want to go. I got nothing to lose any more but my mind is shifting left and right. Thats why id prefer partner as well, to feel less alone and more focused on reality and not past that disappeared.
Take your time after you get sn. It will be good for a while if its sealed and you can take it any time youre ready. Good luck
 
Arrow

Arrow

Rewrite
May 1, 2020
769
idk just envisioning my suicide and imagine how my dead body will look like, also the fact that i won't be able to tell how people react to my death.
imagining how my body will be found is still something i can't fully envision.
and also crying about the moments before i take the SN being fully aware it's going to be my last day of my life.
bro are you sure you're ready? it's ok to not be ready, if this is making you this sad maybe you should give yourself some time and just think on it.
 
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Deleted member 17331

Deleted member 17331

The swan sang with a broken neck
Apr 21, 2020
376
I believe that reading the APGS (4.The Empowerment of Accepting Death) that is set out in the Resource Compilation can clarify some of your doubts.

Not feeling mentally prepared with suicide, in my view, is completely natural. Our minds will do our possible to defend our bodies.
 
autumnal

autumnal

Enlightened
Feb 4, 2020
1,950
same here. that's why I want a partner to take away that fear

You mean a suicide partner? Would a partner take away that fear though?
I believe that reading the APGS (4.The Empowerment of Accepting Death) that is set out in the Resource Compilation can clarify some of your doubts.

Which resource is this referring to?
 
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Emily123

Arcanist
May 28, 2019
460
I also have the same feeling . I suffer everyday of my life but I can not just do it.I am not sure if it is the main reason or not but any time that I get close to ctb, I remember that my mom will cry a lot after she found out about my death . She may have hard attack or even worse . I can not do it to her
 
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MsMaudlin

MsMaudlin

This is the fierce last stand of all I am
Dec 8, 2019
875
I'm with you, the tears are falling here.

 
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Deleted member 17331

Deleted member 17331

The swan sang with a broken neck
Apr 21, 2020
376
Which resource is this referring to?

I didn't understand your question. I am not fluent in English, and your question makes no sense. If possible, try to clarify your question, please.
 
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Deleted member 17331

Deleted member 17331

The swan sang with a broken neck
Apr 21, 2020
376
I couldn't find that reference in the Resource Compilation, are you sure it is there and called that? Thanks.

Oh yes, you're right. I summarized 'A Practical Guide to Suicide' in "APGS" only. It seems to have been a mistake, I apologize.
 
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Soul

Soul

gate gate paragate parasamgate bodhi svaha
Apr 12, 2019
4,704
This article is about accepting things including death. Maybe someone will benefit from it.

 
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Brick In The Wall

Brick In The Wall

2M Or Not 2B.
Oct 30, 2019
25,158
I found this thread to be incredibly helpful to me personally.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/ways-of-making-peace-with-dying.5212/
 
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