futurebuscatcher

futurebuscatcher

Cat Connoisseur
Sep 15, 2024
86
So I've been trying to get mental help for a while now.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a medication specialist for many years now and have been so many different treatments.

Recently in my last post I talked about how my fucking therapist didn't even let me speak and lectured me the whole time and then just said she'll s reduce me for some dumb check up. We'll guess what happened next?

The very next day I get bombarded with several phone calls from all sorts of 'professionals' all asking me questions and redirecting me to one person after the other.

They're all asking the same stupid questions, asking about meds, trying to schedule me for several different other appointments. I was harassed all day by people trying to make safety plans and saying i was giving 'warning signs'

Reader. Listen. The safety plan they gave me was "call someone you trust when sad." (Not to mention safety plans are dumb in my case with mania.)

All I told my bitchass therapist is that I had suicidal thoughts ever since I was a kid. That's it. I didn't even say I was currently suicidal cause I'm not that stupid.

She didn't even do her job but she sent others to 'do it for her.'

They wanted to sent me into IOP and even a clinic bit I know they would just lock me up. And guess what? I just said no and they didn't push anymore. Wow. How concerned. What was that about warning signs?

It was oddly funny– what's crazy is that they want me to drive to the clinic for more help and check ups daily when it's 40 mins away. Not bad for the US but with traffic + clinic times + shitty Healthcare? Fuck no. I literally wouldn't be able to wither cause of work and school.

The only reason I didn't hang up on all of them was in case they sent police or something.

It's crazy. I've been with a total of 8 mental help professionals (soon to be 9) these past few months and not one helped. They all made it worse. I'm not gonna let them put me in some asylum to be abused and "helped."

Not even these meds work and I'm on 250mg Lamotrigine and 100 wellbutrin. I'm honestly thinking about giving up and raw dogging life like God intended. They don't even make me feel numb let alone happy. I get that they're moreso mood regulators but shouldn't that also come with more meds or at least regulate me.

It's likely if they want to switch my meds they have to hold me in a clinic anyways.

Seriously, how is everyone gonna say suicide is bad and reach out to your suicidal friends or how you should ask for help and yet not even professionals help. You can't even take a break off school and work to get help cause of how society functions? It's crazy.

May update with a 3rd post cause they're sending even more people after my ass and I'm honestly intrigued where this will go. It's probably gonna be the same canned questions again. You can't even tell them your true feelings otherwise you're locked up.

Who knows? Maybe they'll get my ass for real and I'll have another crazy story to tell. I'm honestly over getting help if it's like this. It'll be funny as he'll if the next "specialist" is a total shit head too. Hopefully for my sake the next update is boring or happy. Doubt it. This has all only strengthened my hopes for taking my life in my own hands.

Forgive if typos. It's like 2 am and I can't sleep

TLDR: Told therapist I'm sad. Therapist didn't care and sent 8 different people after me who all failed to help. They're trying to send me away for wanting to get better.
 
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dontwakemeup

dontwakemeup

Experienced
Nov 11, 2024
295
I'm sorry. When you say "certain words" they have to take action. It's ironic they want you to be honest and as soon as you are, they lock you up!
I personally don't see any type of therapist and never will again. It's pointless talking to them. They just can't accept people don't want to live forever.
Just be cautious as to what you say because if you keep it up, you will be locked up soon.
 
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Praestat_Mori

Mori praestat, quam haec pati!
May 21, 2023
11,614
WTF - I'm so sorry you have to go through this. This isn't gonna help. Do you know what's the reason for you suicidal thought since childhood? Did the therapist find out about the reason what triggers them? Imo, they didn't. But how could they help you without knowing what to treat exactly?

Therapy can be a useful tool but if the therapist doesn't know what to "treat" or doesn't even have a clue what's actually causing the MH issues it's pretty much not worth the hassle.
 
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CallmeWill4719

CallmeWill4719

Member
Nov 11, 2024
44
"They wanted to sent me into IOP and even a clinic bit I know they would just lock me up. And guess what? I just said no and they didn't push anymore. Wow. How concerned. What was that about warning signs?"

this part stood out to me because yup happened to me. guess I'm "grateful" they didn't call the police when I didn't go to the ER like they wanted me to but therapist dropped my ass quick when I said I was suicidal. I don't like to tell folks not to get help, we're supposed to you know? BUT it seems to be a joke in this country. the usa I mean.
 
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whywere

Illuminated
Jun 26, 2020
3,036
I have been hauled into a psychic ward by the cops before and been treated as if I was a low life criminal. Walter "it is 10:30pm, get your feet off the floor and stay in bed or else"!

Oh yes and the IOP 14 weeks, what a waste of time, my gas driving there, of course under court order, so I had to go.

With this said, after reading your thread, I was so darn upset for you that you are having such a rough go of it with the morons at hand.

Now please try and remember that I care about you, and I bet a lot of folks here on SaSu care about you.

We are in this together as family and try hard, I have been there and it can be difficult, not to let the turkeys get you down.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, loving and caring thoughts and the knowledge that you are never ever alone in this as we ae hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder moving forward and the heck with arrogant "professionals" who at times do not seem to give a rat's butt.

Walter
 
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blak73

blak73

Member
Nov 17, 2024
14
Yes, they don't get that a safety plan is a piece of paper, they just cover their arses basically rather than actually meet you at your level to see how you want to deal with how you feel. I told my clinician the idea of an intervention makes me more desperate, rather than feeling like it would help. It is not about saving people. It is not about healing ❤️‍🩹 people. It is just locking people away so that if the coroner calls they can pretend they exercised duty of care. Be careful what you say. We all know they lock up loads of people who aren't going to do anything. And the ones that are know not to say anything.
 
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needthebus

needthebus

Longing to Becoming HRU
Apr 29, 2024
281
I completely understand and relate to everything you wrote.

The mental health industry has absolutely no regard for practical financial realities of people trapped within the system.

At this point, you mentioned suicidal thoughts at a previous time and now they have to do this to cover their ass. If the person seeing you doesn't do this, and you die, they will be bombarded with "Why didn't you do something?" questions so this is their way of dealing with it.

But all the suggestions of these people almost never help. It really sucks. The people in these industries NEVER care about financial realities, that if you get involuntary hospitalized it could lead to job loss, eviction, homelessness, etc, and that since suicide attempts don't always work, their actions could put their patients/clients in much worse positions by making their financial health much worse than if they had never gotten treatment and just experiences their emotional pain and it had passed.

I don't take medication at all, I don't see a psychiatrist or psychologist, and it's not because I am anti-medication. I would prefer to have medication in small doses. But I wanted to free myself from the fear of police being summoned if I didn't submit to veiled threats or possible threats, I didn't want to be deemed paranoid for asking if something was a veiled threat. The mild reductions in symptoms versus the costs and side-effects of medication, combined with the stress and loss of autonomy that comes with dealing with clinicians, was ultimately not worth it to me.

People in the mental health industry don't understand the extreme terror that they instill in people in the system. In many ways, it feels also impossible to get out, even if there's not a law requiring you to see mental health professionals, it's almost like there is this veiled threat that they will lock you up if you abandon the mental health cult. The fear of that always loomed over me when I was in the mental health system.

It's a terrible situation because often, people with psychological and psychiatric issues have better outcomes with medication. On the other hand, being a patient in the mental health industry has terrible costs in so many ways. The cost of medications (in certain countries), the cost of visits (in certain countries), the time cost of finding professionals and visiting professionals and transportation costs, the costs associated with involuntary care if a professional decides to involuntarily hold you (which can be huge), the loss of income that happens from being involuntarily held.
 
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dontwakemeup

dontwakemeup

Experienced
Nov 11, 2024
295
"They wanted to sent me into IOP and even a clinic bit I know they would just lock me up. And guess what? I just said no and they didn't push anymore. Wow. How concerned. What was that about warning signs?"

this part stood out to me because yup happened to me. guess I'm "grateful" they didn't call the police when I didn't go to the ER like they wanted me to but therapist dropped my ass quick when I said I was suicidal. I don't like to tell folks not to get help, we're supposed to you know? BUT it seems to be a joke in this country. the usa I mean.
The worst thing is to be taken against your will. I've been there. I felt violated and definitely didn't want to talk then. Theu are fools to think a 3 day hold will reverse all the damage done in my lifetime. I know they have to help and try to fix us but it's just a broken system. I'm sure your reasons are justifiable, why can't theu simply understand your pain? Try to help you through the pain and find ways that you can cope with. Locking someone up against their will to ke isn't the answer. They lost all my trust in their therapy crap when I had my 5150. I learned quickly what not to say anymore. They shut me up fast! It's really unfortunate because I assume you want help and are being honest..as you should. Honestly is good only so far. You can say you're hopeless but suicidal is a definite alert ⚠️ now if you want to go to psych and think it can he helpful then by all means tell the truth, but I told you the end result. Maybe it helps people, idk. You have to do what's best for you. I just want to inform you that whatever you said raised alarms and that's why they were all calling you. I'm thinking you probably said you were suicidal without a plan. If you had a plan and the means you would be held immediately!
 
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needthebus

needthebus

Longing to Becoming HRU
Apr 29, 2024
281
The worst thing is to be taken against your will. I've been there. I felt violated and definitely didn't want to talk then. Theu are fools to think a 3 day hold will reverse all the damage done in my lifetime. I know they have to help and try to fix us but it's just a broken system. I'm sure your reasons are justifiable, why can't theu simply understand your pain? Try to help you through the pain and find ways that you can cope with. Locking someone up against their will to ke isn't the answer. They lost all my trust in their therapy crap when I had my 5150. I learned quickly what not to say anymore. They shut me up fast! It's really unfortunate because I assume you want help and are being honest..as you should. Honestly is good only so far. You can say you're hopeless but suicidal is a definite alert ⚠️ now if you want to go to psych and think it can he helpful then by all means tell the truth, but I told you the end result. Maybe it helps people, idk. You have to do what's best for you. I just want to inform you that whatever you said raised alarms and that's why they were all calling you. I'm thinking you probably said you were suicidal without a plan. If you had a plan and the means you would be held immediately!

I totally agree. They say "just be honest with us" and then they do things that inflict massive amounts of pain on people who are honest, then say it's symptomatic or bad or unhealthy to lie. It's gas-lighting and a total mindfuck and the only way to get out of the mindfuckery is to opt out completely and just not get any mental health treatment or to become a perpetual liar, having to deceive the very people who are supposed to help you in order to not be financially fucked and emotionally victimized in some terrible locked situation.

The people who create the ethical rules for the industry are only concerned with looking good and seeming upstanding and are too selfish to examine the pain these rules cause and the fact that there are real secondary effects (people being dishonest, people not seeking treatment, people winding up homeless due to costs of involuntary hospitalization, people in worse financial stress because of involuntary treatment and ultimately committing suicide from that when they otherwise wouldn't have). Most patients are completely worse off for having been involuntary locked up, many like me drop out of treatment as a result, and many are permanently emotionally and financially scarred from it.

But at least big pharma and the doctors got their money, right? And they look good with all the nice rules that sound good in theory.
 
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pulleditnearlyoff

Experienced
Apr 26, 2024
206
So I've been trying to get mental help for a while now.

I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a medication specialist for many years now and have been so many different treatments.

Recently in my last post I talked about how my fucking therapist didn't even let me speak and lectured me the whole time and then just said she'll s reduce me for some dumb check up. We'll guess what happened next?

The very next day I get bombarded with several phone calls from all sorts of 'professionals' all asking me questions and redirecting me to one person after the other.

They're all asking the same stupid questions, asking about meds, trying to schedule me for several different other appointments. I was harassed all day by people trying to make safety plans and saying i was giving 'warning signs'

Reader. Listen. The safety plan they gave me was "call someone you trust when sad." (Not to mention safety plans are dumb in my case with mania.)

All I told my bitchass therapist is that I had suicidal thoughts ever since I was a kid. That's it. I didn't even say I was currently suicidal cause I'm not that stupid.

She didn't even do her job but she sent others to 'do it for her.'

They wanted to sent me into IOP and even a clinic bit I know they would just lock me up. And guess what? I just said no and they didn't push anymore. Wow. How concerned. What was that about warning signs?

It was oddly funny– what's crazy is that they want me to drive to the clinic for more help and check ups daily when it's 40 mins away. Not bad for the US but with traffic + clinic times + shitty Healthcare? Fuck no. I literally wouldn't be able to wither cause of work and school.

The only reason I didn't hang up on all of them was in case they sent police or something.

It's crazy. I've been with a total of 8 mental help professionals (soon to be 9) these past few months and not one helped. They all made it worse. I'm not gonna let them put me in some asylum to be abused and "helped."

Not even these meds work and I'm on 250mg Lamotrigine and 100 wellbutrin. I'm honestly thinking about giving up and raw dogging life like God intended. They don't even make me feel numb let alone happy. I get that they're moreso mood regulators but shouldn't that also come with more meds or at least regulate me.

It's likely if they want to switch my meds they have to hold me in a clinic anyways.

Seriously, how is everyone gonna say suicide is bad and reach out to your suicidal friends or how you should ask for help and yet not even professionals help. You can't even take a break off school and work to get help cause of how society functions? It's crazy.

May update with a 3rd post cause they're sending even more people after my ass and I'm honestly intrigued where this will go. It's probably gonna be the same canned questions again. You can't even tell them your true feelings otherwise you're locked up.

Who knows? Maybe they'll get my ass for real and I'll have another crazy story to tell. I'm honestly over getting help if it's like this. It'll be funny as he'll if the next "specialist" is a total shit head too. Hopefully for my sake the next update is boring or happy. Doubt it. This has all only strengthened my hopes for taking my life in my own hands.

Forgive if typos. It's like 2 am and I can't sleep

TLDR: Told therapist I'm sad. Therapist didn't care and sent 8 different people after me who all failed to help. They're trying to send me away for wanting to get better.
Been there, done that and never will do that again. Trust noone anymore! They don't give a shit and they only make it worse in all possible ways!
I totally agree. They say "just be honest with us" and then they do things that inflict massive amounts of pain on people who are honest, then say it's symptomatic or bad or unhealthy to lie. It's gas-lighting and a total mindfuck and the only way to get out of the mindfuckery is to opt out completely and just not get any mental health treatment or to become a perpetual liar, having to deceive the very people who are supposed to help you in order to not be financially fucked and emotionally victimized in some terrible locked situation.

The people who create the ethical rules for the industry are only concerned with looking good and seeming upstanding and are too selfish to examine the pain these rules cause and the fact that there are real secondary effects (people being dishonest, people not seeking treatment, people winding up homeless due to costs of involuntary hospitalization, people in worse financial stress because of involuntary treatment and ultimately committing suicide from that when they otherwise wouldn't have). Most patients are completely worse off for having been involuntary locked up, many like me drop out of treatment as a result, and many are permanently emotionally and financially scarred from it.

But at least big pharma and the doctors got their money, right? And they look good with all the nice rules that sound good in theory.
Your first lines are so true! It's inhuman how they treat us!
 
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dontwakemeup

dontwakemeup

Experienced
Nov 11, 2024
295
I couldn't have said it better! You have basically summed up our mental health system. If you really think about it, there's about 30 (of course this number isn't correct) medication options for them to prescribe us. Your involuntary hold will only be 72 hrs unless your insurance will allow more days. Your psych hold is all dependent upon your insurance and if it doesn't pay guess what, they have made you stable enough to go home! I've been on both ends and some people have so much trauma there isn't a medication that will ever heal them. Does that make them crazy? Absolutely not! Most people have valid financial issues, marital issues, etc tangible things that if resources were in place, they would be fine. Some just needed to share their pain as many times as needed and for you to simply listen. Of course there are those who have mental health disorders that definitely needed medication but the side effects were so horrible they would refuse them. Navigating through the mental health Community is tricky. I would advise everyone to try to seek help, always! That help maybe talk therapy, group therapy, medication or simply having a support network you can call on your bad days.

You have to decide what is your treatment goal. If you don't know what it is then let your therapist help you obtain it. The goal is to get you to a safe place where you can exist in the world and be safe. I can't promise you your pain will go away but some medications make it easier to simply get up and function throughout the day to be a productive citizen.

Don't be mad at your therapist, she is only doing her job.
 
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futurebuscatcher

futurebuscatcher

Cat Connoisseur
Sep 15, 2024
86
Do you know what's the reason for you suicidal thought since childhood?
Unfortunately that's just how I was born. I remember always being sad and wanting to die even since kindergarten. I have a feeling it has something to do with how autistic I am and I hate it
Now please try and remember that I care about you, and I bet a lot of folks here on SaSu care about you.

We are in this together as family and try hard, I have been there and it can be difficult, not to let the turkeys get you down.

Sending you lots of huge hugs, loving and caring thoughts and the knowledge that you are never ever alone in this as we ae hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder moving forward and the heck with arrogant "professionals" who at times do not seem to give a rat's butt.

Walter
Thank you, that's is comforting that so many people get it here.
I'm thinking you probably said you were suicidal without a plan. If you had a plan and the means you would be held immediately!
The thing is. This has been on my record with my psychiatrist for a while now. It's the reason I'm seeking treatment. It's known information. I didn't get people sent in me then cause I was reaching out for help and meds but suddenly this therapist who literally asked me "do you have suicidal thoughts?" Moments after I said it's on my record tells me they just didn't care and wanted to look good on paper.

I have said I'm suicidal (without a plan of course) and it never gotme in trouble then. Suddenly it does. Make it make sense
I'm thinking you probably said you were suicidal without a plan. If you had a plan and the means you would be held immediately!
The thing is. This has been on my record with my psychiatrist for a while now. It's the reason I'm seeking treatment. It's known information. I didn't get people sent in me then cause I was reaching out for help and meds but suddenly this therapist who literally asked me "do you have suicidal thoughts?" Moments after I said it's on my record tells me they just didn't care and wanted to look good on paper.

I have said I'm suicidal (without a plan of course) and it never got me in trouble then. Suddenly it does. Make it make sense
 
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