futurebuscatcher
Cat Connoisseur
- Sep 15, 2024
- 86
So I've been trying to get mental help for a while now.
I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a medication specialist for many years now and have been so many different treatments.
Recently in my last post I talked about how my fucking therapist didn't even let me speak and lectured me the whole time and then just said she'll s reduce me for some dumb check up. We'll guess what happened next?
The very next day I get bombarded with several phone calls from all sorts of 'professionals' all asking me questions and redirecting me to one person after the other.
They're all asking the same stupid questions, asking about meds, trying to schedule me for several different other appointments. I was harassed all day by people trying to make safety plans and saying i was giving 'warning signs'
Reader. Listen. The safety plan they gave me was "call someone you trust when sad." (Not to mention safety plans are dumb in my case with mania.)
All I told my bitchass therapist is that I had suicidal thoughts ever since I was a kid. That's it. I didn't even say I was currently suicidal cause I'm not that stupid.
She didn't even do her job but she sent others to 'do it for her.'
They wanted to sent me into IOP and even a clinic bit I know they would just lock me up. And guess what? I just said no and they didn't push anymore. Wow. How concerned. What was that about warning signs?
It was oddly funny– what's crazy is that they want me to drive to the clinic for more help and check ups daily when it's 40 mins away. Not bad for the US but with traffic + clinic times + shitty Healthcare? Fuck no. I literally wouldn't be able to wither cause of work and school.
The only reason I didn't hang up on all of them was in case they sent police or something.
It's crazy. I've been with a total of 8 mental help professionals (soon to be 9) these past few months and not one helped. They all made it worse. I'm not gonna let them put me in some asylum to be abused and "helped."
Not even these meds work and I'm on 250mg Lamotrigine and 100 wellbutrin. I'm honestly thinking about giving up and raw dogging life like God intended. They don't even make me feel numb let alone happy. I get that they're moreso mood regulators but shouldn't that also come with more meds or at least regulate me.
It's likely if they want to switch my meds they have to hold me in a clinic anyways.
Seriously, how is everyone gonna say suicide is bad and reach out to your suicidal friends or how you should ask for help and yet not even professionals help. You can't even take a break off school and work to get help cause of how society functions? It's crazy.
May update with a 3rd post cause they're sending even more people after my ass and I'm honestly intrigued where this will go. It's probably gonna be the same canned questions again. You can't even tell them your true feelings otherwise you're locked up.
Who knows? Maybe they'll get my ass for real and I'll have another crazy story to tell. I'm honestly over getting help if it's like this. It'll be funny as he'll if the next "specialist" is a total shit head too. Hopefully for my sake the next update is boring or happy. Doubt it. This has all only strengthened my hopes for taking my life in my own hands.
Forgive if typos. It's like 2 am and I can't sleep
TLDR: Told therapist I'm sad. Therapist didn't care and sent 8 different people after me who all failed to help. They're trying to send me away for wanting to get better.
I have been seeing a psychiatrist and a medication specialist for many years now and have been so many different treatments.
Recently in my last post I talked about how my fucking therapist didn't even let me speak and lectured me the whole time and then just said she'll s reduce me for some dumb check up. We'll guess what happened next?
The very next day I get bombarded with several phone calls from all sorts of 'professionals' all asking me questions and redirecting me to one person after the other.
They're all asking the same stupid questions, asking about meds, trying to schedule me for several different other appointments. I was harassed all day by people trying to make safety plans and saying i was giving 'warning signs'
Reader. Listen. The safety plan they gave me was "call someone you trust when sad." (Not to mention safety plans are dumb in my case with mania.)
All I told my bitchass therapist is that I had suicidal thoughts ever since I was a kid. That's it. I didn't even say I was currently suicidal cause I'm not that stupid.
She didn't even do her job but she sent others to 'do it for her.'
They wanted to sent me into IOP and even a clinic bit I know they would just lock me up. And guess what? I just said no and they didn't push anymore. Wow. How concerned. What was that about warning signs?
It was oddly funny– what's crazy is that they want me to drive to the clinic for more help and check ups daily when it's 40 mins away. Not bad for the US but with traffic + clinic times + shitty Healthcare? Fuck no. I literally wouldn't be able to wither cause of work and school.
The only reason I didn't hang up on all of them was in case they sent police or something.
It's crazy. I've been with a total of 8 mental help professionals (soon to be 9) these past few months and not one helped. They all made it worse. I'm not gonna let them put me in some asylum to be abused and "helped."
Not even these meds work and I'm on 250mg Lamotrigine and 100 wellbutrin. I'm honestly thinking about giving up and raw dogging life like God intended. They don't even make me feel numb let alone happy. I get that they're moreso mood regulators but shouldn't that also come with more meds or at least regulate me.
It's likely if they want to switch my meds they have to hold me in a clinic anyways.
Seriously, how is everyone gonna say suicide is bad and reach out to your suicidal friends or how you should ask for help and yet not even professionals help. You can't even take a break off school and work to get help cause of how society functions? It's crazy.
May update with a 3rd post cause they're sending even more people after my ass and I'm honestly intrigued where this will go. It's probably gonna be the same canned questions again. You can't even tell them your true feelings otherwise you're locked up.
Who knows? Maybe they'll get my ass for real and I'll have another crazy story to tell. I'm honestly over getting help if it's like this. It'll be funny as he'll if the next "specialist" is a total shit head too. Hopefully for my sake the next update is boring or happy. Doubt it. This has all only strengthened my hopes for taking my life in my own hands.
Forgive if typos. It's like 2 am and I can't sleep
TLDR: Told therapist I'm sad. Therapist didn't care and sent 8 different people after me who all failed to help. They're trying to send me away for wanting to get better.