Venting Memory loss

[Ardesevent]

I peaked in middle school, and seems like I've been slowly rotting away since then. Severe agoraphobia and social anxiety, losing the few talents and friends I had, regretting everything, autism, and now we're about to add some severe memory loss to the mix.
I can't remember what I was like last year, anything about the book I read yesterday, or small details like what I was just doing. I've always been focused on stuff before, there's no good reason for this. I'm not even twenty yet.
It might just be declining since I haven't actually used it in awhile. Online classes are a breeze, and I haven't had time to focus on my programming or any of my other hobbies at all for months.
I'm hoping that's the case, but there's a part of me also wishing that it's dementia or some other disease that'll grant me a death. Unlikely, but it'd be convenient.

 

[TooConscious]

I have nothing official to add but I've accepted that my memory has deteriorated. It may be as I drank alcohol nearly daily since I was 16 to 26 there's a type of dementia induced by alcohol called korsakoffs syndrome. Might also be benzos. As well as, like you, social and mental/physical problems. I can't even remember faces or barely meeting people. I feel terrible when people try to be nice and make conversation and I don't even remember them.

 

[opiatedreamz]

i somewhat understand currently. my memory used to be pretty spectacular. but these days, i feel like it's slowly decaying. i've tried to get this looked into, but my doctor just keeps doing blood tests, and now i'm on vitamin D because my levels were super low. "oh maybe that should fix the issue, let's see." i hope so. maybe it won't.
i can only hope it gets better for you somehow.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I feel like I have like 10% of my brain function or less and I´m 26 but have felt this way for many years, even when I was 20 I couldn´t even vividly remember the good times at 16-17 years old.

I used to have the best childhood ever it was a paradise and some fun and exciting teenage years despite having depression then but I only have vague memories of them but I am sure it´s because of my extreme apathy and anhedonia so I can´t feel emotions or nostalgia which is a mixture of sad and happiness and with no emotions connected to a memory it becomes vague whereas back when I was even 19 I could feel so much nostalgia, sadness and some excitement so thinking back on certain moments at age 16 I could remember them better because there was emotions/nostalgia connected to them. But even at age 19 many memories were still so vague especially my childhood, sure I could and can still remember many happy memories but I don´t remember them vividly like if they happened a couple days ago.

I also feel like I have dementia since I can´t remember all my memories that well and feel like I lack a lot of brain power. I remember as a child I would help my parents remember stuff they would need to write down like groceries etc. but I could remember everything and despite not being a big fan of rap I could come up with rap lyrics instantly just for fun since my dad often did that just to be funny, my point is my mind felt like it worked at maximum capacity like 100% and now it feels like it´s 5-10% also damn where did the years go it feels as it was just a moment ago I was a teenager and now I am 26 and having had a social life since I was 16.