Memory and feeling

[wtg]

My memory feels like pieces of puzzle that doesnt connect, I cant seem to remember a lot of things and the things that I remember is basically all the negative things that happened during covid. It feels like im still stuck in that moment. Also, i dont remember most of my highschool moments even though I graduated a year ago and completely forget anything before highschool. Probably because i dont have any friend. Or maybe because it just the way i am.


I think that I have been so good at being alone that no one notice me anymore. I could be in a room full of people raising my hands up and not even a single person bats an eye. It is a weird feeling to me, but I am used to it by now. But, I hope I can stop this feeling.

Every once in a while, I laugh. Not because I see something funny or remember some stupid jokes or anything. I just laugh. Sometimes, I laugh too hard that I believe that I have become crazy. But after that, I remember how pathetic I am and stop feeling anything.

 

[martyrdom]

Every once in a while, I laugh. Not because I see something funny or remember some stupid jokes or anything. I just laugh. Sometimes, I laugh too hard that I believe that I have become crazy.

I relate to this a lot, it happens to me as well. I think for me it's some involuntary nerve thing.

It sounds like you have spent a lot of time dissociating. It might help to look into that, if nothing else then to understand what is happening to you.

 

[NutOrat]

Bad memory is something I've also been cursed with, though I don't deny that I'm partially at fault for not developing it more. I always had trouble at school because of that, with any kind of knowledge retention, I will often start conversations that I've already had with a person and get called out for it and feel like I'm senile (I'm 23). It probably is responsible for more failures and misfortune than you might think.

That and, of course, bad memories and trauma - they cement in your head much better than multitudes of great times you might've had. On the other hand, certain periods of time, like you said with high school, may be completely "blanked out" by your brain, because they're probably so traumatic you subconsciously chose to obscure them to protect yourself.

 

[katara]

Bad memory is something I've also been cursed with, though I don't deny that I'm partially at fault for not developing it more. I always had trouble at school because of that, with any kind of knowledge retention, I will often start conversations that I've already had with a person and get called out for it and feel like I'm senile (I'm 23). It probably is responsible for more failures and misfortune than you might think.

That and, of course, bad memories and trauma - they cement in your head much better than multitudes of great times you might've had. On the other hand, certain periods of time, like you said with high school, may be completely "blanked out" by your brain, because they're probably so traumatic you subconsciously chose to obscure them to protect yourself.

I always thought i was crazy and felt like it was just me. I forget things so easily and I always thought maybe it's just bc I'm sad but it makes me more sad bc I can't do normal things like learn a language or read a complicated book.

 

[wtg]

Bad memory is something I've also been cursed with, though I don't deny that I'm partially at fault for not developing it more. I always had trouble at school because of that, with any kind of knowledge retention, I will often start conversations that I've already had with a person and get called out for it and feel like I'm senile (I'm 23). It probably is responsible for more failures and misfortune than you might think.

That and, of course, bad memories and trauma - they cement in your head much better than multitudes of great times you might've had. On the other hand, certain periods of time, like you said with high school, may be completely "blanked out" by your brain, because they're probably so traumatic you subconsciously chose to obscure them to protect yourself.

The thing is, Im good at memorizing, but bad at remembering. I still remember friends from highschool cause i forced myself to memorize their name one by one.

 

[NutOrat]

The thing is, Im good at memorizing, but bad at remembering. I still remember friends from highschool cause i forced myself to memorize their name one by one.

Memory is also very selective, but unfortunately you (conscious) are not the one selecting, your subconsciousness does. Though I guess you can force it to some extent.