huftydumdum
ā starrfish
- Apr 10, 2023
- 21
I feel like death is more warm and welcoming sometimes. My self-harm scars are fading, I've been only 3 weeks clean and they're already fading. I don't feel like my pain or trauma is real, I feel like i'm secretly being exaggerative. I sometimes feel a lightness in my head, and it all goes away like a switch. What if the only way people took me seriously if I hospitalize myself? I know if I attempt, I'll succeed. Nobody would check in on me.
People would miss me, but they don't understand me. They miss the me that only exists in their head. I wish I wasn't transgender, I wish I could be content with being a girl. I wish the dysphoria didn't make me so angry.
The people who made me like this don't exist anymore, so why am I dwelling? Why does it still hurt like yesterday when I gain my memories back? I hope it ends, whether by death or recovery. it doesn't matter.
People would miss me, but they don't understand me. They miss the me that only exists in their head. I wish I wasn't transgender, I wish I could be content with being a girl. I wish the dysphoria didn't make me so angry.
The people who made me like this don't exist anymore, so why am I dwelling? Why does it still hurt like yesterday when I gain my memories back? I hope it ends, whether by death or recovery. it doesn't matter.
