Kdawg2018

Kdawg2018

Still here...
Nov 10, 2018
272
Does anyone feel bad when you meet people who make the effort to be your friend and for example say lets hang out this week and in the back of your mind you are thinking I might not be alive this week/ feeling bad they know you cuz they might be sad when you ctb
 
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bigj75

bigj75

“From Knowledge springs power."
Sep 1, 2018
2,540
yes. Actually all my relationships are like that. Don't like getting close to people because I know I'll ctb so no point in making friends.
 
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J Tizzle

J Tizzle

Member
Dec 7, 2018
58
I understand this. I'm in a 12 step fellowship so I am constantly meeting new people. I honestly should stop going because I know my ctb will affect the whole community, but it still brings me some semblance of happiness to be there.
 
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LostGirl

LostGirl

My time has come
Dec 3, 2018
185
I do. I am isolating myself from everyone to ease the blow when I die. It's really hard to do at times as we are social animals and nturally crave contacts with our loved ones. I guess I m kind of feeling how my lover ones would feel when I m gone.
 
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I

Idorus

Arcanist
Apr 30, 2018
426
Most people drain the shit outta me so it's really no effort to reject closer contact. Living a more isolating life is purely a natural thing to do without having a second thought about rejection.
 
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S

stargazer

Arcanist
Nov 19, 2018
433
But not too isolated. I still have to maintain appearances. Keep everything looking normal. Otherwise my friend or friends will worry about me withdrawing from the outside world. I keep a cool head about it all.
I'm happy to meet new people, but I'm always wary, of keeping them at a certain length. Not because of emotional ties.

Merely so they're not the one to worry or send an alert at the wrong time and interrupt my CTB plans.

Ya feel?
 
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F

furax53

Student
Nov 13, 2018
191
I try to stay in touch with friends but he does not understand depression and I would like to meet people from the forum
 
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15dec

15dec

ember in the dark
Dec 7, 2018
1,550
Yeah, I love meeting new people and making friends, talking to people, etc. I feel bad talking to people about the future and making plans and stuff like that knowing I probably won't be here to do any of that. It'll probably confuse everyone around me when I ctb and still had plans and things I wanted to do after that.
 
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Jiva

Jiva

I want ...
Nov 18, 2018
493
I don't want thinking about this. It make me more suicidal.
 
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lost illusions

lost illusions

bye
Sep 12, 2018
548
I've never had this problem. My ma and meeting people are the only thing that keeps me going
 
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gnrluver0105

gnrluver0105

Member
Nov 25, 2018
58
Usually people don't ask me to hang out, I'm the one that ask, don't know what's bad with me, also, people usually bores me in real life, and I'm not that good at talking...
 
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