Venting Meds and shit.

[Titania]

Used to be worse off but now I have to be dependent on these drugs that make me numb and shake uncontrollably. Now just to get control I vape. I don't know if it's worse or I've grown too numb to care but I hate the struggle. I dont want to go back to the hospital. Ugh. I found my razor that I hid and Im ready to use it to cut myself. I want to die and hanging myself hasnt worked for me at all. Ive been wanting to go to a counselor but its keep getting fucking put off. Ready to die instead of this continuous feeling of waiting. I've waited too much for everything. Been suicidal since I was 10 years old and too tired to deal with this shit.

 

[Dead_Inside]

That sucks.... hanging is deceptively hard. Or I am stupid....? Either way. I hate the feeling of waiting.... I just figured I would die, then I figured I would be successful at killing myself, now.... guess I am hoping to die while I figure out how to do it.