Medical issues also make me want to die

[ihateearth]

There's something wrong with me medically I've been trying to get treatment for a long time now. It impacts my ability to work normally and type long. I try and try to get help but issues pop up and doctors don't do much and I have to keep asking for a medical test to see what the root cause is.

I treated it myself after inital help, but it returned. This condition means I can't be an author, start websites, lift heavy things, and type long. I am so fed up. It's getting worse.

Not being able to use my hands like normal people harms my productivity and life. I want to die so bad. So many points of my life are terrible. I hate everything. I need to work, but if my hands get worse or fail me I'm scared I'll look weak. No one hears me.

It could be much worse I know. Others have worse situations. I'm crying as I write this after complaining in order to get the test I needed. American healthcare is expensive and sucks. I need to get up and dressed but I'm breaking down now. I hate being here and existing. I wouldn't even care if someone killed me.

 

[FuneralCry]

That must be really dreadful and tiring what you go through, it's cruel how people have to suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes.

 

[ihateearth]

That must be really dreadful and tiring what you go through, it's cruel how people have to suffer all through no fault of their own. But anyway best wishes.

Thank you and I'm glad you post. Know that you are heard. I like reading your posts. I got shots and the test I needed finally scheduled. I sharply spoke after asking for what they said they would do.

You're right many suffer through no fault of their own. Glad I found a doctor who helped me at least. Need to wait for things, but I'm going to die in my car most likely or in the woods. I can't figure out how to blunt this to not hurt my family or help them process. That's the last piece.