Discussion Meaningful Life

[Fire&Ash]

As I start my new job and get to know my co workers, Ive been pondering the meaning of life. Growing up, since my childhood and so on, Ive sort of "convinced" or psyched myself into thinking I would do charitable work like missionary work and going to Africa to help orphans. I honesty didn't know any better, I think it was more of a savior complex until reality hit me. I had my weird fantasies and daydreams so I really never understood the reality of life. Now that Im older. I know that doing milestones like going to school, buying a house, getting married are really important but none of those things are important to me. Independence is. Now that Ive started my job and got to know my coworkers I see/hear them talk about there marriages, kids, and fun family outings, and im envious of them because I just cant relate. Im not married, and ive never expressed interest or even fantasized about it even in childhood. I cant connect or feel a sense of pull to other people so friendships dont exist. And im no where near gunna make money to feel financially independent. And Im not close to my extended family, but except to my mom and eldest sister who I live with. Not too close, but close enough.
So then, what is life worth for me then? I dont want marriage, Im not capable of creating relationships to people, so im pretty lonely, im not financially independent, and doing basic functioning things that are part of everyday life just suck and take any energy i have left out of me. Is this it? Is this all life has to offer at best? Marriage I dont want, friends I dont have, money I cant make, and executive functions that make even small tasks give me suicidal ideation. What now? And so I asked myself, is there meaning or fulfillment somewhere else? And how do I get it? Because google sucks and im not finding answers. What do you think? What is the meaning in your life? What do you want?

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I don't think people on SS have much meaning to their lives...I think that the happy people I know have a partner so they are not alone and have someone to talk to. It sounds like your job isn't completely hellish so that's good.

Perhaps join PeaceCorps if you have a college degree and have an adventure. Perhaps you aren't in the US...I don't know. I'm sorry you are seeing the meaninglessness.

 

[Fire&Ash]

I don't think people on SS have much meaning to their lives...I think that the happy people I know have a partner so they are not alone and have someone to talk to. It sounds like your job isn't completely hellish so that's good.

Perhaps join PeaceCorps if you have a college degree and have an adventure. Perhaps you aren't in the US...I don't know. I'm sorry you are seeing the meaninglessness.

thanks. i dont have a college degree as school is very difficult for me. And im glad that im doing okay at my job, i hope i dont make too many mistakes that ill get fired, but im trying my best. Anhedonia is real, unfortunately.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

To make a Minecraft analogy; some people play on creative mode and some on survival mode. Problem is when we see other people fly around building diamond castles we might devalue our humble wood cabin and furnace. Since we can't get away from the creative mode players (couples walking down the street, meeting your boss' boss, hearing people talk, etc) we have to make peace with the fact that they are playing a different game with different goals and different rules. Very hard to do since we are hard-coded to compare ourselves to others, compete, etc. But there simply is no competing with these people, they don't have mental problems that incapacitate them at work, they go snuggle with their girlfriend at night while you cry in the fetal position, and so on.

 

[ClownMe]

To make a Minecraft analogy; some people play on creative mode and some on survival mode. Problem is when we see other people fly around building diamond castles we might devalue our humble wood cabin and furnace. Since we can't get away from the creative mode players (couples walking down the street, meeting your boss' boss, hearing people talk, etc) we have to make peace with the fact that they are playing a different game with different goals and different rules. Very hard to do since we are hard-coded to compare ourselves to others, compete, etc. But there simply is no competing with these people, they don't have mental problems that incapacitate them at work, they go snuggle with their girlfriend at night while you cry in the fetal position, and so on.

 

[Makko]

You can't manufacture meaning, you can only discover it by doing things and having experiences. To have experiences you need resources of some sort. Material, social, intellectual, spiritual, whatever allows you to experience some part of the world. You won't find meaning if you start with nothing and can do nothing.

 

[again_noidea]

It sounds cheesy, but there is some truth to it: find something you would die for and give your life to it. Of course, there is nuance to it, but maybe not too much. I'm in the same boat as you, but i'm also handy capt and I can't do the things I'm naturally inclined. If you are not too afraid to die, you can try lots of things because you don't have to worry too much about the future. Another thing that that's really helpful is self knowledge, if you know your talents, but you might need to try diffent things. I, for example, would really like to sail, but i don't live close to the ocean and i don't have that kind of money, so i never know if i'm talented for it. Well, good luck

 

[watereyes]

meaning of life is tacos and fembois

 

[wizzlefox]

As I start my new job and get to know my co workers, Ive been pondering the meaning of life. Growing up, since my childhood and so on, Ive sort of "convinced" or psyched myself into thinking I would do charitable work like missionary work and going to Africa to help orphans. I honesty didn't know any better, I think it was more of a savior complex until reality hit me. I had my weird fantasies and daydreams so I really never understood the reality of life. Now that Im older. I know that doing milestones like going to school, buying a house, getting married are really important but none of those things are important to me. Independence is. Now that Ive started my job and got to know my coworkers I see/hear them talk about there marriages, kids, and fun family outings, and im envious of them because I just cant relate. Im not married, and ive never expressed interest or even fantasized about it even in childhood. I cant connect or feel a sense of pull to other people so friendships dont exist. And im no where near gunna make money to feel financially independent. And Im not close to my extended family, but except to my mom and eldest sister who I live with. Not too close, but close enough.
So then, what is life worth for me then? I dont want marriage, Im not capable of creating relationships to people, so im pretty lonely, im not financially independent, and doing basic functioning things that are part of everyday life just suck and take any energy i have left out of me. Is this it? Is this all life has to offer at best? Marriage I dont want, friends I dont have, money I cant make, and executive functions that make even small tasks give me suicidal ideation. What now? And so I asked myself, is there meaning or fulfillment somewhere else? And how do I get it? Because google sucks and im not finding answers. What do you think? What is the meaning in your life? What do you want?

"What is the meaning of life?" THATS an unanswerable question,.
"what's the meaning of my life", nothing if I'm honest. Just a constant struggle. I can't visit anywhere in the world/go on holidays etc because I have to work like a dog to keep a roof over my head (paying rent, not mortgage,as if I'd ever be able own a place). Life is constant battle to survive the costs of living.
if I could have anything in the world, it would be a cottage in the countryside, away from people, grow my own food, read, paint, play piano, country walks.
my reality is I work minimum 57 hours a wk n still need government support to be able to afford to live. Yesterday I found out I have to move out in November. So who knows what other delights (not) are instal in the coming wks.
My advice to you would be, if you have a dream, go for it. Life will kick you no matter what. Better try n do something you love now, than regret it later x

 

[Tomoko]

Absolutely felt. All my co-workers talk about their kids, or the ones that don't talk about how they are workoholics and do double shifts etc because money is all they care about. Or some talk about their friends or all the weed they smoke, about "hoes" and other derogatory shit. I really can't relate to any of them. I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm meant to be homeless or something. The only time I ever feel anything even close to happiness is when I'm wandering outside like I used to before I had a job. I like feeling free. I hate being shackled to this horrible system working 7 days in a row sometimes and being seen as weird to everyone else while tanking the emotional damage from the people I live with. I see no meaning in any of this which is how I started ideation of ctb in the first place. I hate the ones who say things like grow a spine or that's just life, etc. Makes me feel unbelievably violent and sad.

 

[wizzlefox]

Absolutely felt. All my co-workers talk about their kids, or the ones that don't talk about how they are workoholics and do double shifts etc because money is all they care about. Or some talk about their friends or all the weed they smoke, about "hoes" and other derogatory shit. I really can't relate to any of them. I'm starting to feel like maybe I'm meant to be homeless or something. The only time I ever feel anything even close to happiness is when I'm wandering outside like I used to before I had a job. I like feeling free. I hate being shackled to this horrible system working 7 days in a row sometimes and being seen as weird to everyone else while tanking the emotional damage from the people I live with. I see no meaning in any of this which is how I started ideation of ctb in the first place. I hate the ones who say things like grow a spine or that's just life, etc. Makes me feel unbelievably violent and sad.

I feel like homelessness is a very real possibility for myself. Only because I'm tired of fighting to survive. I can totally imagine just walking away from my life as it is n just sleeping wherever. sending hugs x

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not have any meaning in my life. The way I see it the idea that there is any meaning in life is just a delusion, we are only here because of evolution anyway. We exist just to die. Our lives do not mean anything. Personally, I am only here because I never asked to exist and I am held back because of the SI and the fact that it is hard to take our lives. I live a very pointless existence. I would have been gone already if it was easier. Life is not for me.

 

[GreenMile]

For me any kind of meaning is an illusion. Illusions can, sometimes, be useful but are always fleeting and mostly mistaken for reality.

 

[back_to_oblivion]

I don't think life has any objective meaning. I think my life is just a weird and annoying interruption of non-existence. I never asked for it and it boggles me that life is so random and chaotic. Like why did I even begin to exist and not someone else? Completely random and based on chance. Life is such a grind and a rat race that doesn't make sense, it's only about survival. I think humans are just more sophisticated animals and in the end we're driven by primal needs which is why we keep going. Work to get shelter and food, start a family to pass on the genes to the next generation, get a higher social status so you have more power. Whatever increases our chances of survival makes us feel good, whatever decreases our chances of survival makes us feel bad. Like being rich or poor, being popular or an outcast. But I don't want to survive anymore, I don't see the point of it. The only meaning we can give our lives is subjective, but I haven't found a good enough reason that satisfies me personally and makes me want to keep living.

 

[Fakereality]

a rock does not have a meaning it just exist and endures the forces of nature which slowly erodes it over the course of long years, life can never have a meaning for people like us who just suffer the worse of life and keeps getting slowly empty from inside, happy people or delusional people find their meanings in whatever keeps their screwed perception of this hellish world true they are too weak or too delusional and too high egoistic to see it any other way.

 

[Amumu]

You can't manufacture meaning, you can only discover it by doing things and having experiences. To have experiences you need resources of some sort. Material, social, intellectual, spiritual, whatever allows you to experience some part of the world. You won't find meaning if you start with nothing and can do nothing.

That's... completely false.

Hunter-gatherers had no important material, intellectual and spiritual resources (the latter just came orally from their surroundings)

Yet their life had far more meaning than today's civilised nihilistic guy. The more you learn, the less meaningful your life becomes.

The only thing they had more than us is probably the "social resource" (but I don't think we have the same definition of it) since their relationships were sincere and long-lasting, contrary to todays's relationships which are hypocritical, ephemeral and superficial.

And that's why we're completely depressed and they were not : they didn't know anything about science but cared about their surroundings.

 

[Painless_end]

You sound a lot like me. At 32, I have somewhat similar issues.

I feel they are due to a part of my brain responsible for self-motivation and aspiration and development being somewhat biologically less developed than the average person. And I always add that it is not fixable by any of the usual things like positive thinking, exercising, or eating right. The basic fundamental part of brain that is responsible for these things is itself deficient in rather problematic ways. It's a catch-22 kind of situation.

It's like being mentally deficient in fundamental ways without looking like it or feeling like it. Just putting on an act.

But I am not able to release myself from this physical plane yet. But we'll see.

 

[Makko]

Yet their life had far more meaning than today's civilised nihilistic guy.

Being "civilised" has nothing to do with having resources, other than the material kind.

 

[fox_wannabe]

There is no meaning, this place is a blender, this body is flesh prison, time is the executioner, family are prison guards, fear are the walls and hope is a traitor.
I want to go back where I was before creation and stay there. This existence is bullshit. It is scripted from cradle to grave. It is full of toil and other bullshit that leads to nothing, moreover It is completely nuts: wars, secret societies, 666 on every barcode, slavery, greed, normies, divorces, cancers, car accidents, disgusting sex acts, unfulfilled desires. Life is constant marathon running from one state of unfulfillment to the next one. Why people bring each other here? Is this some sort of Stockholm syndrome? Are they so high on oxytocin and too horny to think with compassion before they sign up somebody for this 50 year ride? There is nothing to do here except things done 1 billion times already. Go make a fortune. Go for It. You will continue to eat, digest, shit, sleep, eat, fuck, get bored, sleep, eat fuck, eat, be bored, work, work, work... Maybe you will look at the clouds every few hours contemplating existence. I have done It. Too many times. Now I am neeting and cannot wait till my logical mind overcome all my attachments and sentiments so I won't have to breath anymore.

Your parents signed you up for the ride. The had zero. Zero clue, of what and why they were doing. They went together one night into one bed and went for the action. It was awful and disgusting. Eww. I have the same reaction thinking about mine parents. Even worse. They were clueless, nothing good came out of their desire. It was heartless, because it was all instinctual. From love of your parents to each other up to the love they gave, or gave not to you.

What do we have left? Looking at nature, sensory pleasures, same drives our parents had, expectations of us to perform, work, school, society. We have been thrown into the wheels of karma and now some of us want out. No wonder. I look at "normal" people, having kids, bonding, working. So pointless. For me birds sign the same way humans talk. Mindless uninformative chatter. Not gonna lie It is beautiful, full of emotion and motion as well as some sort of direction. Nonetheless, just a chatter of life, bringing nothing. If it is "important" it usually moves the rock only a inch up the hill. It cannot solve anything. It doesn't scratch the itch of existence, incompleteness.
It does not give how and why and what for. The meaning here is given by us for ourselves. Chemicals gives meaning. Dopamine gives orgasm, prolactin- relaxation, oxytocin- love, serotonin- understanding, glutamate- pain. They make meanings by addicting you to them, because you see life is addictive sport. You wouldn't mind living if you felt enough thirst for dopamine to keep chasing sex. Only when we cannot achieve the desired states the truth and understanding comes. That we are robots, made here to achieve task imposed on us by evolution or god.

Yet for the mindless robots we seam to have consciousness, or be consciousness. Seeing, hearing, sensing. Consciousness so unneeded for the simple tasks it was assigned to do. For me It is all a scam. I don't believe in this world. It is such a joke. Such a magnificent joke. I know consciousness cannot be where body is. I am either a robot or consciousness never both. I know death is either big reveal or void and end. No matter which one is it, I think I will try It.

 

[SentientCreature]

That's... completely false.

Hunter-gatherers had no important material, intellectual and spiritual resources (the latter just came orally from their surroundings)

Yet their life had far more meaning than today's civilised nihilistic guy. The more you learn, the less meaningful your life becomes.

The only thing they had more than us is probably the "social resource" (but I don't think we have the same definition of it) since their relationships were sincere and long-lasting, contrary to todays's relationships which are hypocritical, ephemeral and superficial.

And that's why we're completely depressed and they were not : they didn't know anything about science but cared about their surroundings.

Your comment reminds me of Ted Kaczinsky a.k.a "Unabomber"; Perhaps you've read his manifesto. Anyway, I do agree with what you're saying, but I don't think we're drawing the same implications from it. Saying that hunter-gatherers were less abundant in material, intellectual and spiritual(not sure what that means exactly in this context) resources while having a better quality of life does not imply that at an individual level material possessions, knowledge and spiritual inclinations preclude a sense of meaning. This is mainly because taking an individual out of the context of their own time and its societal structure leaves out important information.

Hunter-gatherers were actually forced by circumstances to engage in physically demanding and time-consuming activities that give one a sense of direction and purpose in life. There was no social environment at the scale and complexity that we observe in our own time - an environment in which people are conditioned from the beginning to measure themselves against others, to value whatever big companies can profit mostly from, where extended family is no longer such a relevant social unit and where an individual has to learn to form social bonds with strangers from the earliest childhood, as failing to do so often impedes their social functioning later in life.

In this vastly different environment survival no longer involves direct production of the means for survival. There is a huge detachment in this area, making the fight for survival an unpleasant but necessary part of an individual's existence that leaves a sense of emptiness that has to be filled with needs and desires that are peculiar to our modern society.

As @Makko says resources aren't valuable in themselves, they merely give one the opportunity to have meaningful experiences. Perhaps the typical civilized nihilistic guy is lacking in some of them, that is if we extend the definition of resources a bit. Intellectual pursuits do not merely consist of mindless acquisition of facts. Some people seem to have a certain kind of receptivity to information and events that allows them to better contextualize their newly acquired knowledge. I think of people such as this guy when I say that. That is a person who seems to have opened himself up to a whole new world of experience by altering his consciousness with psychedelic substances, or perhaps he was naturally inclined that way from the beginning. Something clearly separates such people from the rest of us who cannot seem to find any contentment in spite of our survival being secured.

Okay, I got carried away a bit here and lost coherence somehwere in the middle. Off I go to distract myself with some competitive video games in an attempt to temporarily mask the futility of my existence.