Venting me

[Life_and_Death]

im tired of people letting me be me to the point where im so annoying i hate myself. why cant people tell me to fuck off

 

[Stick]

I wish people would just tell me what they hate about me instead of just letting those flaws resurface every time. If I could have a memory of someone important telling me to change myself, maybe I would, instead I'm still the same person.
I get you a bit.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I wish people would just tell me what they hate about me instead of just letting those flaws resurface every time. If I could have a memory of someone important telling me to change myself, maybe I would, instead I'm still the same person.
I get you a bit.

why not change yourself for you? and not so much your flaws but so you can be a better person for yourself. thats what ive done. i have a whole new way of thinking now

 

[Stick]

why not change yourself for you? and not so much your flaws but so you can be a better person for yourself. thats what ive done. i have a whole new way of thinking now

Sorry, I'm not trying to make this thread about me. But, I guess I feel like it's hard to change when the people around you think you're "fine", even if that "fine" is still littered with issues.
I'm glad you've been able to improve yourself, that's a big step. What about your thinking has changed?

 

[Ghost2211]

I honestly think both of you view yourselves worse than others view you. It's good to be able to see what we want to improve about ourselves and use that as motivation to grow, but I'm sure the vast majority of people don't see those things. If people do see them it's likely to a lesser degree.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Sorry, I'm not trying to make this thread about me. But, I guess I feel like it's hard to change when the people around you think you're "fine", even if that "fine" is still littered with issues.
I'm glad you've been able to improve yourself, that's a big step. What about your thinking has changed?

dont worry about it. its just a stupid vent. im bored and cool with talking lol.

i taught myself to be more accepting and openminded. and in the meantime i also taught myself to love myself more. this is going to come of wrong at first but let me explain. i am my own god, but not in the "im invincible" god complex thing. for its more......you believe in god but i believe in myself. while someone else is praying to god to give them strength, im taking a deep breath and telling myself "i can do this". and by seeing things this way i find myself viewing things in life different from others.

ive always been this way since i was born but like most humans i have my flaws. however the past little while ive worked on weeding out the flaws. ill think something or make a comment and then ill realize thats not what i believe in. i wont beat myself up about it because that will only make it worse, i prefer more of an accepting approach but i do point it out to myself and over time ive found myself having less and less flaws. im not perfect but i stand behind what i say and i do because i know i do it for a reason. basically its all about morals and staying true to yourself. i never understood why people needed a god to tell them what is right and what is wrong or to give them strength. whats right and whats wrong should be common sense. if you wouldnt like that done to you, then dont do it to someone else. and why must someone give you something that is already inside of you, you just have to find it.

 

[Lilacmoon]

I can relate with this too much. The self hatred is overwhelming.

 

[Stick]

dont worry about it. its just a stupid vent. im bored and cool with talking lol.

i taught myself to be more accepting and openminded. and in the meantime i also taught myself to love myself more. this is going to come of wrong at first but let me explain. i am my own god, but not in the "im invincible" god complex thing. for its more......you believe in god but i believe in myself. while someone else is praying to god to give them strength, im taking a deep breath and telling myself "i can do this". and by seeing things this way i find myself viewing things in life different from others.

ive always been this way since i was born but like most humans i have my flaws. however the past little while ive worked on weeding out the flaws. ill think something or make a comment and then ill realize thats not what i believe in. i wont beat myself up about it because that will only make it worse, i prefer more of an accepting approach but i do point it out to myself and over time ive found myself having less and less flaws. im not perfect but i stand behind what i say and i do because i know i do it for a reason. basically its all about morals and staying true to yourself. i never understood why people needed a god to tell them what is right and what is wrong or to give them strength. whats right and whats wrong should be common sense. if you wouldnt like that done to you, then dont do it to someone else. and why must someone give you something that is already inside of you, you just have to find it.

I think that that's an amazing mindset to have. I guess I can relate a bit to being your own God, sometimes I think of myself kind of as my own parent. Like, I need to use my rational self to guide my anxious self through life, so I'm kind of relying on myself in that way.
I kinda beat myself up over my mistakes unfortunately, even dumb shit that was years ago. It's something I'm still working on.
I'm glad you have the strength to work on yourself! I know you have OCD, but the way you think of yourself tells me you are a strong person.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I kinda beat myself up over my mistakes unfortunately,

may i ask what kind of mistakes?

 

[Good4Nothing]

im tired of people letting me be me to the point where im so annoying i hate myself. why cant people tell me to fuck off

Fuck off.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Fuck off.

got it. dont read comment before you read what they are commenting to. see flaws lol

 

[Stick]

may i ask what kind of mistakes?

Just anything really. One I recently thought about was a time in Mandarin class back in highschool. This kid sat next to me who was really struggling and failing the class, and he looked to me and was like "Do you think I could still pass?" He was asking for help. I have really harsh humor sometimes with my family and people I am close to, so I just told him "Of course not" or something like that, only to realize humor is NOT appropriate right now and he did not take it as a joke. But, I couldn't apologize because another girl next to us was shutting me up because she mistook it as bullying and was trying to shut me down. I was so embarrassed, I never apologized.
And I know it was a long time ago, and I know that if I ever do something dumb like that again I just need to clear things up and address the situation properly. But even though I know that and I know how to avoid that situation in the future, I don't know how to keep myself from remembering times like that and just beating myself up for it.

 

[Good4Nothing]

got it. dont read comment before you read what they are commenting to. see flaws lol

I wanted to add a hug emoji, but my stupid phone won't let me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Just anything really. One I recently thought about was a time in Mandarin class back in highschool. This kid sat next to me who was really struggling and failing the class, and he looked to me and was like "Do you think I could still pass?" He was asking for help. I have really harsh humor sometimes with my family and people I am close to, so I just told him "Of course not" or something like that, only to realize humor is NOT appropriate right now and he did not take it as a joke. But, I couldn't apologize because another girl next to us was shutting me up because she mistook it as bullying and was trying to shut me down. I was so embarrassed, I never apologized.
And I know it was a long time ago, and I know that if I ever do something dumb like that again I just need to clear things up and address the situation properly. But even though I know that and I know how to avoid that situation in the future, I don't know how to keep myself from remembering times like that and just beating myself up for it.

this is ok. sometimes what one finds funny another may not or someone else might misunderstand. it all boils down to your upbringing and daily life. instead of hating yourself for this incident use it as a lesson. everyone makes mistakes and that is ok. what matters is how you handle it afterwards. you can hate yourself or you can make a mental reminder and learn. as long as you learn from it, there is no reason to hate yourself and if you hate yourself for it then you should learn from it :)