Venting Me and gf broke up

[azalea087]

I probably shouldnt be making this thread 10 minutes after we did but yeah.
I thought that maybe things were getting better.
I kinda had the hope of growing up having a family with her and well paying job.
Im probably gonna ctb soon because i literally have absolutely nothing to look forward to.
Gonna probably go with hanging because its easiest I assume.
BTW this isnt the only reason or whatever (my suicide is not an irrational decision or anything this was just the last thing i had to look forward to)

 

[MemberOfTheMatrix]

Don't let this affect you man, I don't really know the details of why you guys broke up but this pain wont last forever, I don't know what happened, I don't know who you are, how old you are but you have to trust me when I say things WILL get better. Live your life everyday and take small steps to improve. I understand that right now you may feel down and there is nothing to look forward to but the darker times you have lead you to have the brightest days you ever have. If you ever want someone to talk to feel free to message me privately.

 

[azalea087]

Don't let this affect you man, I don't really know the details of why you guys broke up but this pain wont last forever, I don't know what happened, I don't know who you are, how old you are but you have to trust me when I say things WILL get better. Live your life everyday and take small steps to improve. I understand that right now you may feel down and there is nothing to look forward to but the darker times you have lead you to have the brightest days you ever have. If you ever want someone to talk to feel free to message me privately.

Look, thanks but i dont want help if that makes sense. Theres alot happening and this was just another thing added onto that.
Thanks for the support <3

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

Hey dude, I get how you feel. Breakups fucking suck, hell I still miss my ex who broke up with me mid-December. I was hoping of getting a decent job, starting a family with her, and if we didn't have kids, just enjoying life. Life didn't pan out that way and I'm miserable now, even more so than I was. Now, I'm back here. I was gone for a bit after the breakup and just came back afterwards.

I understand you don't want help so I won't offer that. If you wanted to, you could talk to me in messages, even just to vent if you'd like. Obviously, I understand if you don't, this is probably very emotionally troubling for you, as I know it was for me.

Either way, no matter what you decide, I hope it has the desired outcome you want.

 

[WhiskeyHands]

Brother…I was at the same place you were 7 months ago. Was at my lowest point, the most alone I had ever felt. I researched for hours, bought the rope, practiced finding my carotid. Every day for 5 months was miserable. Now I'm going to tell you the one thing that you're not going to want to hear.

It's going to take time. I know it doesn't feel like it now, but things will get better. At around 5 months I started feeling much better. I won't preach what you should and shouldn't do…ultimately it's your choice.

But a woman isn't worth it. Your life will cease, but hers will keep going. She'll still love even though you're gone. My recent ex takes the cake for the most despicable thing a human being has done to me. If I can make it through that you can too.

I'm still on my healing journey. There's good days and bad days. Just have to keep moving forward. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask brother.

 

[azalea087]

Im glad your healing and I wish you luck!
I was going to ctb regardless but this just shortened the time it would take me.
I cant meet anyone new because im stuck indoors 24/7 and cant leave my house.
ill pm you more details

I'm still on my healing journey. There's good days and bad days. Just have to keep moving forward. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask brother.

 

[suicidalenby]

breakups fucking suck, i get you with that. i hope that whatever happens brings you peace.

 

[azalea087]

I probably shouldnt be making this thread 10 minutes after we did but yeah.
I thought that maybe things were getting better.
I kinda had the hope of growing up having a family with her and well paying job.
Im probably gonna ctb soon because i literally have absolutely nothing to look forward to.
Gonna probably go with hanging because its easiest I assume.
BTW this isnt the only reason or whatever (my suicide is not an irrational decision or anything this was just the last thing i had to look forward to)

update. we ended on ok terms, then she randomly blocked me on everything

 

[LocalAngel]

Im glad your healing and I wish you luck!
I was going to ctb regardless but this just shortened the time it would take me.
I cant meet anyone new because im stuck indoors 24/7 and cant leave my house.
ill pm you more details

Very very relatable, i'm also going through the exact same thing. I can't leave the house- partner broke up with me recently and shortened my fuse.
Here for you if you need to talk.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that the pro lifers on here are invalidating your feelings. People shouldn't be allowed on this forum if they cannot respect other people's decisions and why are they even here in the first place if life is so good for them. I do hate it when people push their unsolicited advice, it's like they cannot experience life the same way as other people so what gives them the right to force their toxic positivity. Everyone experiences life differently and not everyone values life anyway.

But I just think the reality is that in this life nothing ever lasts and if there is anything that someone sees as being positive it only exists to be taken away and eventually lead to more suffering. You just cannot rely on and trust other people as well, people can certainly be very disappointing, but anyway best wishes.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

update. we ended on ok terms, then she randomly blocked me on everything

That's rough, man. I wish it could've gone better. Maybe she's doing the typical "no-contact" rule after a break up but who knows. A lot of people I know or have known, went no contact with their ex for a bit, some permanent, some for like a month or two.

 

[Avyn]

I understand how you feel. I have nothing to look forward to in my life except a future with my boyfriend. He and my dog are the only reason I'm still here.
If he broke up with me I would be in so much pain. So many things in my life went wrong and I don't have anyone other than him.

Some people that answered here think you want to ctb just because of the break up and are encouraging you to "just not let it affect you".
It might be, but in your case as you mentioned (and in mine too) it's not only the break up making you feel this way.
There's more to your life that we don't know about, and a break up can be the trigger to end it all.
If she was your reason to stay, your future, and now there is nothing anymore, it makes sense for you to want to ctb.

Maybe there's still hope for you that she might come back. If you are having second thoughts about suicide, don't go through with it. It's awful to regret your decision in your last moments. Maybe, just maybe, something can be done and things can get better. But it's for you to decide whether your life is worth it in the end.
I'm here if you want to talk to anyone about what happened, I'd be happy to chat! And I hope things can get better for you

 

[azalea087]

That's rough, man. I wish it could've gone better. Maybe she's doing the typical "no-contact" rule after a break up but who knows. A lot of people I know or have known, went no contact with their ex for a bit, some permanent, some for like a month or two.

I know it was a bad idea but i texted her a proper apology from another number, like it was really good, level headed etc. and wished her the best. she didnt respond but i expected that.

I understand how you feel. I have nothing to look forward to in my life except a future with my boyfriend. He and my dog are the only reason I'm still here.
If he broke up with me I would be in so much pain. So many things in my life went wrong and I don't have anyone other than him.

Im glad you understand. And I wish you and your bf the best. By how you understand other peoples feelings so well i know you guys will make it through anything.

Some people that answered here think you want to ctb just because of the break up and are encouraging you to "just not let it affect you".
It might be, but in your case as you mentioned (and in mine too) it's not only the break up making you feel this way.
There's more to your life that we don't know about, and a break up can be the trigger to end it all.
If she was your reason to stay, your future, and now there is nothing anymore, it makes sense for you to want to ctb.

Im so happy you understand, yes theres a few people who think that but i ended up dming them the full story since i dont want it public here. (ill send it to u too if u want)
theres a bigger picture and alot of people dont see it but i do understand since i didnt provide much context.
Theres so much that has happened in the last month that has just made me want to ctb sooner.

Maybe there's still hope for you that she might come back. If you are having second thoughts about suicide, don't go through with it. It's awful to regret your decision in your last moments. Maybe, just maybe, something can be done and things can get better. But it's for you to decide whether your life is worth it in the end.

I sadly don't want to hold onto hope, itd make moving on harder for me. Im certain i want to ctb unless something amazing happens like if i find the perfect person for me.

I'm sorry that the pro lifers on here are invalidating your feelings. People shouldn't be allowed on this forum if they cannot respect other people's decisions and why are they even here in the first place if life is so good for them. I do hate it when people push their unsolicited advice, it's like they cannot experience life the same way as other people so what gives them the right to force their toxic positivity. Everyone experiences life differently and not everyone values life anyway.

Yeah its tough but im glad they have the drive to help i guess. Yeah I value life just not mine. To me im not worth keeping around, and im glad some people respect that Ive made up my mind yknow. Unless bill gates comes from the heavens and writes me in his will im gonna ctb at some point lol.

But I just think the reality is that in this life nothing ever lasts and if there is anything that someone sees as being positive it only exists to be taken away and eventually lead to more suffering. You just cannot rely on and trust other people as well, people can certainly be very disappointing, but anyway best wishes.

Yeah. Thankfully the people on this forum aren't disappointing lol. But best wishes to you too.

 

[ThatStateOfMind]

I know it was a bad idea but i texted her a proper apology from another number, like it was really good, level headed etc. and wished her the best. she didnt respond but i expected that.

Yeah probably not the best but I imagine it helped ease your mind to be able to apologize and give you the closure you need. I'm glad you were able to remain level-headed despite the circumstances. It shows emotional maturity on your part, and that's good!