nosurpries
Member
- Jul 3, 2022
- 97
thinking about maybe limiting my browsing time on this site. while it is comforting for me to have a place to express myself and see others who are like me, this place has made me feel more human than i've ever felt in a long time. but i think i need to limit my time here, maybe i need to try again. i've had a good luck streak the last 2 weeks or so, my new job has gone well for me so far, my suicidal thoughts are diminished a little (still agonizing), i think about ctb only once an hour rather than every minute. i've even ran into a little bit of found money, not a ton, but a sizeable amount. i think i want to give living another shot, i need to actually try to get better, try to enjoy life while i can. my ctb date isn't until november anyways so why be miserable the whole time right? i'm sure that i'll be back in a couple of days feeling like it's dumb and i do want to die, and i do still plan on leaving in november, but i feel hopeful today.