sleepy10
Member
- Nov 24, 2023
- 38
I found out today that my nephew is suicidal, i had my suspicions just because i am very aware of the signs but today it was confirmed. there wasnt an attempt as far as i know but from what i understand he said something to my sister so my sister has been calling him every hour to make sure he is still alive. My mom asked me to call him because maybe i could "help" that kind of made me angry because i think my family thinks just because i dont talk about killing myself everyday they think im all better. NO that is not the case there are a few reasons i dont mention it,
1- i dont want to be put away again
2- im saving up pills incase i decide to go that way
3- it just hurts the few people who still care for me
anyway i was asked to talk to my newphew and i looked my mother dead in the face and said, "and say what mom, that i hope his journey out of this hell hole is a swift and easy one? becuase i sure as shit dont want to be here any more either?" she looked at me like i was crazy and told me well you cant say that. So i responded with well if you want him to not kill himself he probably shouldnt talk to me. I love my nephew, he is one of the few things/people i might actually miss while im on the other side but i also completly understand that for many of us life does not get better for many of us we are doomed to walk this Earth in agony until we are finaly met by deaths warm embrace. I want my nephew to live a long healthy happy life but who am i to stop him from ending everything if that is really waht he wants because i completly understand what he is feeling. The ONLY reason i am still here is because i am scared there is a hell and i dont want to feel my flesh burn for all of eternity. that might sound crazy but that is truly the only reason. Then i also think if im damned to hell anyway whats the difrence betweeen now or later?
1- i dont want to be put away again
2- im saving up pills incase i decide to go that way
3- it just hurts the few people who still care for me
anyway i was asked to talk to my newphew and i looked my mother dead in the face and said, "and say what mom, that i hope his journey out of this hell hole is a swift and easy one? becuase i sure as shit dont want to be here any more either?" she looked at me like i was crazy and told me well you cant say that. So i responded with well if you want him to not kill himself he probably shouldnt talk to me. I love my nephew, he is one of the few things/people i might actually miss while im on the other side but i also completly understand that for many of us life does not get better for many of us we are doomed to walk this Earth in agony until we are finaly met by deaths warm embrace. I want my nephew to live a long healthy happy life but who am i to stop him from ending everything if that is really waht he wants because i completly understand what he is feeling. The ONLY reason i am still here is because i am scared there is a hell and i dont want to feel my flesh burn for all of eternity. that might sound crazy but that is truly the only reason. Then i also think if im damned to hell anyway whats the difrence betweeen now or later?
