Story Maybe next time

[Ashe]

I always question if tonight's the night
If I'll have the guts to wake up or end it all
I preach to others to be kind
But I feel so cold in perpetual free fall
I just wish there was a cure for what's wrong with me
My demons tell me I'm at my deaths door
The voice in my head says to jump that ledge
I don't want to do this anymore
I dream of fiction that I didn't have to struggle
No matter what I do I feel so heartless
I have to pay others to just be there for me
Sometimes I wonder if this was always my fate
Wishing I wasn't so sick and alone
My words feel so heartless
My mind's at war
I don't wanna do this anymore
What if I just opened that door
Took that leap
Feel the life drain from myself
But I just wake up
Feeling so sore
My scars hurt
Pop pills to kill the pain
But it's just surface level
I'll always be in pain
I don't even care if I'm adored
Surviving feels like a drag
Light up another cigarette
The buzz is dull
Not even those do the trick anymore
People say that life is just survivin
No one pays attention except for when it's too late
I can't do this anymore
It's getting late
I lose
See ya again
Maybe the next life will be kinder