maybe loneliness isn't bad

[RainGhost]

It started three years ago when I moved to another continent and finally found myself alone. Analyzing my life now, I understand that I was always alone, because I solved all my problems myself. But it seemed like there was support, friends, family...well, that's not true. After moving, I began to understand that my entire environment was just a shell, that the only people who remained were Internet friends. So I'm not alone? Well, not really. Re-reading old posts and messages, I realized that my Internet friends also helped only 50 to 50 and this figure was rapidly falling down. I opened up, was sincere and did not feel the return, it made me lonely and I felt hurt. What helped me? Real loneliness. Ironic, yes, but it's so obvious. I was attached to communication, to the people. I waited for their reaction to my messages, I waited for them to be there. Well, there is no such expectation if you go into isolation. From social networks, I left only YouTube, and everything else was put on mute. I've never felt so good! My thoughts were pure, I lived and thought for myself. Of course, I'm back in society, I still feel like I can't go into isolation for a year or something. But if before I could hardly last three days, now I felt that I did not want to return after two weeks of this lifestyle. It is important to note that I still communicate with colleagues or family, but these are only basic dialogues that are never sincere.

Why am I here? Well...like I said, I'm still an extrovert, I'm still a social seeker. Friendship was simply replaced by one-time communication, because this way I would have no obligations. During this year I lost my remaining friends. One reduced communication because of my move, the other literally disappeared from all social networks. And my constant friend and even partner...well...he is now in quite severe depression. I tried to help, but this requires treatment, not beautiful words, so I couldn't do much. And my partner is also not very actively involved in this, unfortunately... plus we had several disagreements that were put on pause, so-
It doesn't matter. I just realized that perhaps I would never be able to be a full-fledged member of society, that my life would be lonely. But...it's unlikely that I will really feel it.

 

[R_N]

People can be fun but I was always able to entertain myself when alone. It has its pros for sure.

Some people are not built for it tho. Probably most.

 

[TransilvanianHunger]

I find that a great number of people are afraid of being alone because they are strangers to themselves. In my mind there is a distinction between loneliness and solitude. The first is a state of lacking, which causes distress and suffering because the individual feels like they're missing something, and they feel a desperate need to fill that void. Solitude, on the other hand, is a state where the individual can spend time on their own and just "be with themselves" without feeling empty or incomplete.

It seems that the need to be constantly surrounded by people and engaged in social activities is often an unconscious response to the possibility of having to sit with yourself, which can be a very jarring experience if you are a stranger to yourself. Always seeking something outside of oneself to keep oneself distracted from our inner life. This is what turns into loneliness, and pain. When you are able to sit with yourself without feeling the need to flee or find a distraction, then you are able to enjoy solitude. It's a practice that I enjoy quite a bit, and that I believe would be useful for many. We're not built for complete isolation, of course, so there will be a time when we need to return to the world, like Nietzsche's Zarathustra abandoning his cave.

"I need solitude – that is to say, recovery, return to myself, the breathing of free, crisp, bracing air… The whole of my Zarathustra is a dithyramb in honour of solitude." — Ecce Homo

 

[24SecondsTillDawn]

While I love my few friends I find myself enjoying the time I'm alone most. I can live without feeling the need to act or behave a certain way and it's peaceful. I like being able to have the short formal conversations with family or go to work and complete my tasks then being able to ignore the outside world.

I understand why people love going out and socializing 24/7 but I'm glad I learned that I don't have to be that type of person. It took a while to get over my FOMO but I'm glad I did and I don't find myself regretting choosing to skip out on some events like I used to.