Maybe it's time

[ForestLove]

Compared to the life circumstances that you all have faced, mine seems to be quite minute but this is something I would never forgive myself. Maybe it's time for me to leave.

I consumed some benzo earlier for sedation and it works. Maybe I would up the dosage and try partial tomorrow.

I'm tired. It has been a great pleasure to know this community. Thank you for all your input and support. Maybe it's time for me to leave once and for all.

 

[TheLastTrip]

Don't feel guilty for wanting to ctb for your own reasons, your pain is no less real than everyone else's.

I hope you find peace *hugs*

 

[TiredHorse]

Don't compare yourself to others, or your pain to others' pain. We each have a breaking point that is uniquely our own.

Maybe it's time for me to leave once and for all.

I won't try to convince you otherwise, ForestLove, but I will suggest that you don't leave on a "maybe."

That said, if it's time to go, I wish you safe travels and a peaceful destination.

 

[Donewith_]

Hope everything goes well for you. Though I just had a very small talk with you, I was interested if all that combination would work . I wish hard that it should.May you find it soon.Goodluck:)

 

[ForestLove]

Jus that I don't know how my hubby will react if he saw my body hanging on the door...will definitely traumatize him for life...

 

[Lady black]

Hope you will find your peace. If you fall from the stairs and break your neck it would also be hard for him to find you. Also a peaceful death from natural causes would be hard for him. It´s not easy to loose somebody, but it´s also not easy to live in pain

 

[nzdarkshark]

Hope all goes well and you find peace <3

 

[Nem]

Peace with whatever decision that you make. It's crappy to be in a situation where death seems a reasonable option.
I know it's the right thing for myself
Hugs!

 

[naia_]

Jus that I don't know how my hubby will react if he saw my body hanging on the door...will definitely traumatize him for life...

If you have the means, maybe rent a hotel or motel room? This way he will not be the one finding you, which might be kinder.

I wish you peace.

 

[OkTotti]

Compared to the life circumstances that you all have faced, mine seems to be quite minute but this is something I would never forgive myself. Maybe it's time for me to leave.

I consumed some benzo earlier for sedation and it works. Maybe I would up the dosage and try partial tomorrow.

I'm tired. It has been a great pleasure to know this community. Thank you for all your input and support. Maybe it's time for me to leave once and for all.

Hi Forest, I was looking at your previous posts and there isn't much background on why you want to CBT. You don't have to share if you don't want to but I'm just curious why you feel your life circumstances are minute...I feel this way sometimes.... my decision came recently after losing my job and turning 46....

 

[ForestLove]

If you have the means, maybe rent a hotel or motel room? This way he will not be the one finding you, which might be kinder.

I wish you peace.

But if I CTB in a hotel, I will definitely be in the news if I don't want it to happen.

 

[ForestLove]

Hi Forest, I was looking at your previous posts and there isn't much background on why you want to CBT. You don't have to share if you don't want to but I'm just curious why you feel your life circumstances are minute...I feel this way sometimes.... my decision came recently after losing my job and turning 46....

I have a second chance in Life after a life-threatening illness but the quality of my life decreases thereafter. I became depressed amd suicidal. I feel it's not me anymore. I hate myself for that. I never ever thought i would come to want to CTB in my Life as my Life has been smooth until this happened. I blamed myself a lot and I can't forgive myself for what has happened..

 

[Schopenhauer]

I hope you find your peace, ForestLove. Your reasons only have to be enough for you, not anybody else.

 

[ForestLove]

I hope you find your peace, ForestLove. Your reasons only have to be enough for you, not anybody else.

But it would hurt people around me..

 

[Schopenhauer]

But it would hurt people around me..

Yeah. That's something we all have to consider. Personally, I don't think it's fair to demand we keep on living for anybody else's sake. People can deal with loss.

 

[Donewith_]

Jus that I don't know how my hubby will react if he saw my body hanging on the door...will definitely traumatize him for life...

Oops I think I am a little late. In case if you are around and see this,. Why not reconsider this thing.. you know. I am not this because you are still thinking about other things. It's no where related to that. Take time to think over this and you can go ahead and choose if you decide on this.But, we will be 'unable to make decisions' when we are too stressed, in that state of mind..It really gets difficult to think rationally . Let it all flow by putting it down on a paper, start with the words that hits your mind immediately. You will automatically be led to where you are getting stuck and get an answer too most of the times( atleast, works for me). Might be worth giving it a try.

 

[OkTotti]

But it would hurt people around me..

But if I CTB in a hotel, I will definitely be in the news if I don't want it to happen.

unless your a celebrity or have been in the news already, when news reports suicides in hotels, they usually leave the name out. Plus news only seem to report if the person jumps from hotels. You don't read much about hangings or CTB by N. in hotels. I hope you find peace with your decision. I'm having a hard time with my decision to CTB myself.. it gets worse during midday and then from some reason I don't want to CTB at night

 

[ForestLove]

unless your a celebrity or have been in the news already, when news reports suicides in hotels, they usually leave the name out. Plus news only seem to report if the person jumps from hotels. You don't read much about hangings or CTB by N. in hotels. I hope you find peace with your decision. I'm having a hard time with my decision to CTB myself.. it gets worse during midday and then from some reason I don't want to CTB at night

In my country, there are very few CTB news. Hence pple or the media will be curious to know who CTB in our country. Even small fry will get reported in the news whenever there is someone who CTB..

Too bad N is forbidden in my country. I could have purchased it.

 

[TAW122]

I hope you are able to find peace and like others have said, it's better to be absolutely certain before going as you don't want to have any second thoughts or uncertainty when you ctb.

 

[TiredHorse]

Too bad N is forbidden in my country. I could have purchased it.

If you feel comfortable sharing, @ForestLove, what country are you in? Knowing that may allow people here to explore options you might not have thought of, and at the same time help us understand what options aren't on the table.

 

[dysfunctional]

I have a second chance in Life after a life-threatening illness but the quality of my life decreases thereafter. I became depressed amd suicidal. I feel it's not me anymore. I hate myself for that. I never ever thought i would come to want to CTB in my Life as my Life has been smooth until this happened. I blamed myself a lot and I can't forgive myself for what has happened..

I can relate. I feel like I turned into another person. I hate myself for this as well.

 

[ForestLove]

Why is it so hard to die...

 

[TiredHorse]

The human survival instinct is damnably strong. I'm so sorry, ForestLove. I'm still trying, too.

 

[ForestLove]

The human survival instinct is damnably strong. I'm so sorry, ForestLove. I'm still trying, too.

I'm so determine to die this time round but the scarf is hurting my neck alot. Hard to get the right spots this time round.

 

[OkTotti]

Why is it so hard to die...

I've asked this question everyday recently.....

 

[TiredHorse]

I'm so determine to die this time round but the scarf is hurting my neck alot. Hard to get the right spots this time round.

Can you put some padding to either side of your windpipe, both to cushion your windpipe and to put specific pressure on your arteries? Create a hybrid of "Night night" and partial?

How strange. I find myself suddenly reluctant to give advice. As little as I know you, I'm going to miss you. I know how important it is, though, and it only seems right to have as gentle a departure as possible.

 

[ForestLove]

Can you put some padding to either side of your windpipe, both to cushion your windpipe and to put specific pressure on your arteries? Create a hybrid of "Night night" and partial?

How strange. I find myself suddenly reluctant to give advice. As little as I know you, I'm going to miss you. I know how important it is, though, and it only seems right to have as gentle a departure as possible.

I put some padding around the neck to support the scarf. I tried again jus now and managed to have some tingly sensation over my head but no blurred vision. Partial needs some time and patience to adjust until you reach the sweet spots. I gave up after that.

 

[TiredHorse]

I'm so sorry; I'm just not as educated in partial as I am in N2. I've now offered everything I know about it.

If that is your route to peace, I hope you find a way to make it work.

 

[worldexploder]

I wish you the best. I hope peace finds you well. Remember pain is pain no matter what the source. And you, like everyone in here, deserves peace.

 

[OkTotti]

ForestLove hasn't posted in awhile.... hope she found her peace