Venting Maybe It's because my expectations are too high but I don't think I'm ever going to be in a lasting relationship

[Happy Cat]

I never really been in a relationship before. I think I get attached too quickly only to be disappointed when the other person isn't how I thought they would be. I just really wish to find somebody that has things in common with me or has a similar mindset. Also, since I never been in a relationship I'm prepared to try my best to make things work even though I suspect that my partner isn't going to do the same. I wish I had someone that cared a lot about me and would give our relationship as much effort as I'm giving it but I don't think I'm ever going to find somebody like that. I mean I can't give them a reason to do so when there are other girls much better than I am

 

[LonelyPrince]

I never really been in a relationship before. I think I get attached too quickly only to be disappointed when the other person isn't how I thought they would be. I just really wish to find somebody that has things in common with me or has a similar mindset. Also, since I never been in a relationship I'm prepared to try my best to make things work even though I suspect that my partner isn't going to do the same. I wish I had someone that cared a lot about me and would give our relationship as much effort as I'm giving it but I don't think I'm ever going to find somebody like that. I mean I can't give them a reason to do so when there are other girls much better than I am

I have this same mentality too. Honestly, I kinda gave up on the thought of romance. I've had small experiences in the past but don't think they will ever be repeated. I'm idealistic and end up expecting too much from the other person.
So I somewhat understand.

 

[TheCavernousDeep.]

I think love can still be beautiful even if you know you love the other person more than they love you. The trick is to just accept that out the get go and manage expectations accordingly. I've definitely loved people who didn't love me back in the same way and it was still a source of happiness for me. As long as you always remind yourself of the assymetry, you can't really be disappointed when they don't put in the same effort as you do.

Now that's not the same thing as saying you shouldn't expect the same level of respect from your partner, But I'm just saying if u can accept the mismatch in devotion it can make things easier. After all there's a lot to love about a person beyond just the ways they love you back.

 

[Argo]

It's a suicide forum so a lot of this is just gonna be "duhhh, you think?" but if you have low self worth then it's going to be hard to love you, because you'll just be feeding on anything that comes from the outside. Your worth is internal and it doesn't come from outside. But we can be confused about our worth. I think everyone who is suicidal is confused about their worth(im including myself here despite my highs and lows). I was just in a situationship with a girl who seemed insecure to me. She mostly only took from me, and hardly ever gave me anything. Never reciprocated. She even admitted it. She told me she treats me like shit. I agreed with her and kept seeing her because I was very intrigued by her as a person despite not being very attracted. And I knew already what not to do. I knew what I was doing was bad. I knew that if I gave her more, it would kill her attraction. But that's exactly what I did because that was the abusive dynamic I grew up with where I was conditioned(wrongly, this is the key to understand) to think I have no value. Maybe I did it because I was curious what would happen. Maybe this time? Maybe she's different...

No. I needed that lesson. I won't do that again.

So basically back to you, it has to come down to solving the void inside you that says you have no value. If you can be certain with no doubt that you have inherent value, then you can love and be loved. Without that I'm afraid the real love you wish for won't be possible(we should be used to bad news by now, again, suicide forum). But yeah I do think it's possible to fix. Obviously insanely hard, but possible. I relate to you. Good luck