Venting maybe i don't know what i'm talking about

[parader]

so this dude died and twitter is bawling over it, i can only guess it was suicide
i have no idea but seems like it as far as i've read (which wasn't much bc all those fan tweets make me wanna throw up)
all they talk about is "i'm so sad", "they did so much for me when i needed it", "they seemed so happy (while entertaining me)", "they brought me such light", "me, me, me"

even before joining this forum this used to make me so angry and i thought it was because i had some sort of trigger with suicide discussion in general, but here i am
all day i can see people talking about suicide and not get angry at all, i didn't notice it at first but then today happened
my timeline there is fucking hell and i'm pissed again, but now i know it's not the suicide talk that makes me angry, is how people react to it on mainstream media
all they talk about is how sad they are, how the person made such a positive impression on them, how the industry is so bad (while they're the ones keeping this business alive)

they're all so selfish, even at a moment like this they are all still so selfish
all they talk about is how they feel about it, how they were happy while the person was performing a goddamn lie to entertain them and how sad they are now that the person is no longer here to keep doing it every day. they try to blame the industry that's selling exactly what they're so gladly buying.
i don't even know the guy but if those were the kind of people he was trying to dedicate his life to i don't blame him for wanting out.

 

[endless_pain]

Just the image to mantain even though there is no coerence with what they say, infact many of them fuel the things that say should change. Accountability is not for them and they are just not real with themselves.

 

[watchingthebuses]

I know who you're talking about lol. He's been in the news for a few days. It's so shameful, making a circus out of it every time. I agree, it's always about themselves, how they're coping with their grief of losing someone... who they don't even know in person. They make it out to be something bad that happened to them it disgusts me.

 

[gaeulfeels]

YES? I never thought about it but now it makes so much sense. I just saw a video of 2 girls ending their lives and all they talk about is how sad they are and how the wanted to "save" them. Its ALWAYS about them, they literally don't care how we feeling

 

[animism]

I was dating this person and for Valentine's they gave me 14 days worth of gifts. Every day I was supposed to open one and each one contained a "letter" which were reasons they "love me" and why they "want to love me". A month prior to it they wrote out a list which was similar but it made me very uncomfortable and I didn't know why. I just assumed that it's because I've never been truly loved and accepted so I have to learn to accept the love. With each letter I was getting increasingly sicker to my stomach. Every single one of those reasons and the reasons a month prior were about how I made THEM feel and what I did FOR THEM. The only one that had really anything to do with who I am as a person was "I love when you smile" but then they added "when you look at me". I broke it off. We never made it to Valentine's Day.

 

[StandardOtter]

I feel the same way and yet I don't really blame them. It's a kind of ritual where everyone affirms this person's value by acknowledging what everyone received from them.

I think it only looks ugly because none of them can accept that person's right to leave on there own terms. It makes it sound like they want suicidal people to just stick around and keep pretending for their entertainment, but I don't think that's true. I think most people just can't empathize with being suicidal. They think it's just a bad mood that you get over. You hit rock bottom and the only way is up. etc.

People say similar things on the goodbye threads here and I often think they are very sweet and kind. The difference is that they're not asking for more. Just saying thank you for what's already been given.

 

[FuneralCry]

Humans certainly are very self centred after all, of course people would make someone's death all about themselves, that doesn't even surprise me.

 

[parader]

I feel the same way and yet I don't really blame them. It's a kind of ritual where everyone affirms this person's value by acknowledging what everyone received from them.

I think it only looks ugly because none of them can accept that person's right to leave on there own terms. It makes it sound like they want suicidal people to just stick around and keep pretending for their entertainment, but I don't think that's true. I think most people just can't empathize with being suicidal. They think it's just a bad mood that you get over. You hit rock bottom and the only way is up. etc.

People say similar things on the goodbye threads here and I often think they are very sweet and kind. The difference is that they're not asking for more. Just saying thank you for what's already been given.

weirdest thing is the ones there that i know are suicidal themselves, people sharing those help hotline numbers and everything
i think the difference between here and there (even though there are suicidal people on both) is that here we don't go in a goodbye thread to share our suffering at the loss, some might mention they'll miss the person and i agree that's really sweet and kind, but not in a demanding way, not like their decision is causing us such harm and we're crying at the supermarket for hours and maybe that's why they feel comfortable to share their final moments

i also don't think they do it on purpose, i don't think their line of reasoning is "oh this person that i like is having a terrible life but i want to use them and don't care for their wellbeing" but even if it's not on purpose i guess that's part of what puts so much pressure on these idols to "be perfect, be happy, there're people counting on you" so fans can enjoy it free of guilt, and the industry provides them just that by any means necessary, they should be aware by now, it's not the first time it has happened, and while most of them will say "i love that idol, i don't want them to suffer, i want them to be happy" they will also say "that idol is my comfort person and makes me so happy, they're always so bubbly and when i'm feeling down they're always there to give me great life advice to be positive everytime, and i rely on them so much". And that's the problem, they don't realize that both of those things can't always be true at the same time.

the industry wants money, the fans want someone they can always rely on as a source of inspiration and help and positivity, and that comes at the expense of making someone else's life a lie.

 

[Aisley]

I was dating this person and for Valentine's they gave me 14 days worth of gifts. Every day I was supposed to open one and each one contained a "letter" which were reasons they "love me" and why they "want to love me". A month prior to it they wrote out a list which was similar but it made me very uncomfortable and I didn't know why. I just assumed that it's because I've never been truly loved and accepted so I have to learn to accept the love. With each letter I was getting increasingly sicker to my stomach. Every single one of those reasons and the reasons a month prior were about how I made THEM feel and what I did FOR THEM. The only one that had really anything to do with who I am as a person was "I love when you smile" but then they added "when you look at me". I broke it off. We never made it to Valentine's Day.

"...when you look at me". Lol. Think you made the right call. That's some top shelf self absorption right there.

so this dude died and twitter is bawling over it, i can only guess it was suicide
i have no idea but seems like it as far as i've read (which wasn't much bc all those fan tweets make me wanna throw up)
all they talk about is "i'm so sad", "they did so much for me when i needed it", "they seemed so happy (while entertaining me)", "they brought me such light", "me, me, me"

even before joining this forum this used to make me so angry and i thought it was because i had some sort of trigger with suicide discussion in general, but here i am
all day i can see people talking about suicide and not get angry at all, i didn't notice it at first but then today happened
my timeline there is fucking hell and i'm pissed again, but now i know it's not the suicide talk that makes me angry, is how people react to it on mainstream media
all they talk about is how sad they are, how the person made such a positive impression on them, how the industry is so bad (while they're the ones keeping this business alive)

they're all so selfish, even at a moment like this they are all still so selfish
all they talk about is how they feel about it, how they were happy while the person was performing a goddamn lie to entertain them and how sad they are now that the person is no longer here to keep doing it every day. they try to blame the industry that's selling exactly what they're so gladly buying.
i don't even know the guy but if those were the kind of people he was trying to dedicate his life to i don't blame him for wanting out.

This is about that little K-popper, isn't it? You gotta think about the fan base. Of course a few thousand 12 yr olds are going to use this, and everything else as framework for their lives. That's what most kids do. Sure, people by nature are selfish, but kids are.selfish as a survival mechanism.

 

[parader]

This is about that little K-popper, isn't it? You gotta think about the fan base. Of course a few thousand 12 yr olds are going to use this, and everything else as framework for their lives. That's what most kids do. Sure, people by nature are selfish, but kids are.selfish as a survival mechanism.

i'm not a minor and i don't interact with minors on twitter, tough crowd
so when i made this post here i was talking about people i actually know there, and everyone that i saw crying themselves out over it is at least 19 (19 is the younger one i saw shedding tears over it) on tweets of their own
sure, they've retweeted stuff that might be written by minors, not everything on my timeline was just them
but it got on my tl by an adults decision all the same :'')

 

[Aisley]

Welp. I think I'll still kinda defend them. Grieving processes take us down a bunch of paths successively, and I bet most of these people will end up in more empathetic places, with time. Hopefully.

 

[StandardOtter]

weirdest thing is the ones there that i know are suicidal themselves, people sharing those help hotline numbers and everything
i think the difference between here and there (even though there are suicidal people on both) is that here we don't go in a goodbye thread to share our suffering at the loss, some might mention they'll miss the person and i agree that's really sweet and kind, but not in a demanding way, not like their decision is causing us such harm and we're crying at the supermarket for hours and maybe that's why they feel comfortable to share their final moments

i also don't think they do it on purpose, i don't think their line of reasoning is "oh this person that i like is having a terrible life but i want to use them and don't care for their wellbeing" but even if it's not on purpose i guess that's part of what puts so much pressure on these idols to "be perfect, be happy, there're people counting on you" so fans can enjoy it free of guilt, and the industry provides them just that by any means necessary, they should be aware by now, it's not the first time it has happened, and while most of them will say "i love that idol, i don't want them to suffer, i want them to be happy" they will also say "that idol is my comfort person and makes me so happy, they're always so bubbly and when i'm feeling down they're always there to give me great life advice to be positive everytime, and i rely on them so much". And that's the problem, they don't realize that both of those things can't always be true at the same time.

the industry wants money, the fans want someone they can always rely on as a source of inspiration and help and positivity, and that comes at the expense of making someone else's life a lie.

I see your point and I think you're right. It's part of a larger set of practices that treat suicide as something selfish and destructive to others instead of a personal choice that everyone has a right to. Individually I can see where people are coming from and accept it, but like with many cultural issues you only see how harmful it is when you take a step back and look at how it all adds up in to something more.