Massively fucked up

[Nem]

Not sure where to start, I sure wish I had broken up with my ex at the start when I saw red flags popping up. There were some good times of course but she demanded we quit weed two days after moving in together, two weeks later I told her I was severely depressed from stopping weed and she just said "bullshit, I don't believe you".
Okay, right then I should've said fuck you and left! Like what the fuck was wrong with me?! She turned out the be a sociopath and had anger issues along with near zero empathy, then I went on crappy meds that ended up just giving me side effects and then a near death experience.
Two days after getting prescribed a dangerous combo of meds, we were on a hellcation and was starting to feel very sick from the meds and mentioned I wanted to stop. She then demanded I keep taking them and not wanting to deal with her bullshit I kept taking them and then nearly died.
This is the main reason I'm here, I can barely sleep because of the brain, nervous system damage, some of the muscles melted and kidneys were damaged. This is goddamned bullshit and I've had around three hours of sleep the last five years
Peace/hugs

 

[Darkhaven]

I have never been in a relationship but both my divorced parents have had several failed ones.
And you know what i have come to realise all these years? It's that every human being is crazy to some extent at least.
We, that make up this forum, may be considered a bunch of socially disabled lunatics because we are giving up on life, but, from what i have been seeing from my piers failed attempts to have a stable romantic life, is that almost single person in this world can flip out or become overpossessive, or show their colors in a scary, "sociopathical" way.
People tend to bring out their worst when they get deep on a relationship.
Being alone may well be the way to go, as sad and depressing as that may be at times.
I hope that you get better soon.

 

[ChristopherWalken]

Damn 5 years and no improvement? Are you being treated for all this? If the treatments aren't working I guess you could try some of these research chemicals like bpc-157 to heal. You can find info about them in nootropics communities on reddit and facebook. Possibly dangerous to experiment with stuff that hasn't been approved by the fda but if you're contemplating suicide and conventional medicine hasn't worked I'd say you've got nothing to lose by trying.

 

[I’vehadenough]

What muscles melted? I had horrible side effects from prescription drugs too, thats why I have to end my life

 

[Nem]

What muscles melted? I had horrible side effects from prescription drugs too, thats why I have to end my life

The muscles around my eyes atrophied, throat muscles as well, diaphragm muscles and muscle in forearm melted. This all caused kidney damage, sorry to hear you're in the same boat

 

[I’vehadenough]

The muscles around my eyes atrophied, throat muscles as well, diaphragm muscles and muscle in forearm melted. This all caused kidney damage, sorry to hear you're in the same boat

How could you tell the muscles around your eyes atrophied? I think the same happened to me

 

[Nem]

How could you tell the muscles around your eyes atrophied? I think the same happened to me

It feels like I'm wearing goggles 24/7

 

[I’vehadenough]

It feels like I'm wearing goggles 24/7

Oh so your eyes don't look different?

 

[Nem]

Oh so your eyes don't look different?

They look sunken in, it's hard to tell unless I point it out. It's awful though

 

[Girobatol]

Which meds were you taking?

 

[justanotherday]

I have never been in a relationship but both my divorced parents have had several failed ones.
And you know what i have come to realise all these years? It's that every human being is crazy to some extent at least.
We, that make up this forum, may be considered a bunch of socially disabled lunatics because we are giving up on life, but, from what i have been seeing from my piers failed attempts to have a stable romantic life, is that almost single person in this world can flip out or become overpossessive, or show their colors in a scary, "sociopathical" way.
People tend to bring out their worst when they get deep on a relationship.
Being alone may well be the way to go, as sad a d depressing that may be at times.
I hope that you get better soon.

I came to the same conclusion a couple of years ago.

 

[Nem]

Two tricyclics, had a severe reaction

 

[I’vehadenough]

They look sunken in, it's hard to tell unless I point it out. It's awful though

Mine are VERY sunken in, to the point where they don't look human...there's no way I'm going to live through this shit

 

[Nem]

Mine are VERY sunken in, to the point where they don't look human...there's no way I'm going to live through this shit

I completely understand, what happened to you?
Peace/hugs