Venting Many of my former classmates found girlfriends in a semester

[HappyForever?]

The thing is, I don't really see how they did it. None of them are physically attractive, they are at best average. They don't have any skills that make them stand out. It's probably not "social ability" either, as they don't have particularly good social skills. Perhaps it's just my problem, and there is a way to make someone fall for you that I'm not aware of. Perhaps this, instead of looks, is the main difference between people who struggle to get into a relationship and people who don't.

 

[Sanva]

getting into a relationship isn't about being super good looking or having any incredible skills, it's about finding someone you can connect with on a deeper level imo

 

[Sanva]

Ask them for their credit card or banking statements and you may get an answer

i really do wish we had an eye roll reaction but I'll work with what i have so here you go:

 

[Chinaski]

getting into a relationship isn't about being super good looking or having any incredible skills, it's about finding someone you can connect with on a deeper level imo

This is absolutely true, and yet is somehow the most unpopular opinion to be held on here.

Ask them for their credit card or banking statements and you may get an answer

THEY'RE ONLY INTERESTED IN ONE THING AND THAT'S UR WALLET AMIRITE LADS!!!!

 

[WoAiGou]

If you like a girl you need to tell them/ask them out. There's really no way around this. Do it via text or social media if you have to, but just TELL THEM! I've struggled significantly with this, took me till my mid 20s to get some smidge of confidence to tell someone I liked her, and it went horribly lol, but it made the next times easier.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Money

 

[whatevs]

The thing is, I don't really see how they did it. None of them are physically attractive, they are at best average. They don't have any skills that make them stand out. It's probably not "social ability" either, as they don't have particularly good social skills. Perhaps it's just my problem, and there is a way to make someone fall for you that I'm not aware of. Perhaps this, instead of looks, is the main difference between people who struggle to get into a relationship and people who don't.

It´s definitely social, so give it a second thought.

EDIT: Yes, money is a factor, let´s face it, but not the main one. Social (personality and how are you seen in a group of people) > money > looks, and for some social > looks > money. But social always comes first.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

You have to repeatedly put yourself in situations that are conducive to meeting girls. Fwiw I disagree with telling someone you like them. I never did that. It's too direct and off-putting. You just have to be sociable and kind of get talking to someone. Maybe you share a laugh over something silly or bond over something you have in common. The easiest way is to keep attending parties or just simply to go out. There's no rocket science to this. Just mingle over and over and your social skills will improve. It takes practice, like everything really. This way you'll connect organically and it won't seem forced or too direct.

 

[Sanva]

evil woman only want date chad!!! Only want money!!!! Grr, if woman so smart, why no date ME? Society!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't listen to the guys who are saying it's money OP, they're projecting their own insecurities. It is definitely possible to find a healthy relationship with someone who appreciates you for who you are, that is if you treat them with respect also. it's easy to blame society for all of our problems, but sometimes we need to look within ourselves. just find places where you can meet women, treat them like actual human beings, be interested in getting to know them, and you'll find someone. misogyny is extremely unattractive.

 

[Chinaski]

It´s definitely social, so give it a second thought.

EDIT: Yes, money is a factor, let´s face it, but not the main one. Social (personality and how are you seen in a group of people) > money > looks, and for some social > looks > money. But social always comes first.

Well on this basis, given I'm a notoriously despicable prick who has never had a pot to piss in, l can only conclude l must be the best-looking man in town.

 

[HappyForever?]

Ask them for their credit card or banking statements and you may get an answer

Money

This is what happens when I forget to mention that they are not rich. They are still in college, and their families are middle class.

getting into a relationship isn't about being super good looking or having any incredible skills, it's about finding someone you can connect with on a deeper level imo

I believe this is true. The people who have trouble finding a partner are probably "weird" so they can connect with fewer people.

It´s definitely social, so give it a second thought.

EDIT: Yes, money is a factor, let´s face it, but not the main one. Social (personality and how are you seen in a group of people) > money > looks, and for some social > looks > money. But social always comes first.

Being social is definitely fundamental to getting into a relationship, as it not only expands the pool of potential candidates but also improves your desirability. However, I think you just need to be reasonably competent socially to find a gf. You don't have to be a social butterfly.

You have to repeatedly put yourself in situations that are conducive to meeting girls. Fwiw I disagree with telling someone you like them. I never did that. It's too direct and off-putting. You just have to be sociable and kind of get talking to someone. Maybe you share a laugh over something silly or bond over something you have in common. The easiest way is to keep attending parties or just simply to go out. There's no rocket science to this. Just mingle over and over and your social skills will improve. It takes practice, like everything really. This way you'll connect organically and it won't seem forced or too direct.

This is going to be my strategy, but I need to work on becoming more interesting first to find more common ground with people.

 

[woknows]

If you are not asking people out on a date and are not proactive, that is your problem 100%. Girs rarely approach and start a relationship.

 

[Superdeterminist]

If you are not asking people out on a date and are not proactive, that is your problem 100%. Girs rarely approach and start a relationship.

You could ask 50 people and get 50 "no"s. It's not like not asking is always the reason.

 

[Somber]

Well on this basis, given I'm a notoriously despicable prick who has never had a pot to piss in, l can only conclude l must be the best-looking man in town.

I believe smart & funny fall in the social category.

 

[Maaizr]

i just never gave a shit and became completely self-centered/self-serving and eventually it figured itself out.. relationships arent worth it tho imo people suck ass and are notoriously incomptetent/needy

 

[whatevs]

I wasn't talking about social butterflies, but a broader category that can abstractly defined as social assets or aspects. Sense of humour, having enough friends, professional prestige, your degree of social anxiety...

I think overall your classmates are more normal than you and you likely have mental issues that make you approach less women, have less friends or be less attractive. Which is likely because of the forum you find yourself in.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

You could ask 50 people and get 50 "no"s. It's not like not asking is always the reason.

I hear what you're saying but how are you going to start the process of elimination for the reason otherwise?

 

[Superdeterminist]

I hear what you're saying but how are you going to start the process of elimination for the reason otherwise?

You could get rejected for 50 different reasons. Also, personally I find the idea of throwing out as many offers as possible, as if it were a job hunt, kind of lame (I actually think the same about jobs). That would take any joy out of the whole thing for me. Like if I got 49 "no"s and finally a "yes" on the 50th try, I think I would just be irritated at that point, not happy.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

You could get rejected for 50 different reasons. Also, personally I find the idea of throwing out as many offers as possible, as if it were a job hunt, kind of lame (I actually think the same about jobs). That would take any joy out of the whole thing for me. Like if I got 49 "no"s and finally a "yes" on the 50th try, I think I would just be irritated at that point, not happy.

Yeah, I'm right there with you on all counts, but thats the ugly reality of the situation. I don't have the kind of drive to grind out odds like that.

 

[Sanva]

It's not misogyny if it goes both ways.

Human beings love money. Sorry, fact of life . Non negotiable reality , might as well deal with it. Wars of succession, arranged marriages , imperial consorts , etc. it has been going on for a long time and will go on further

If you legit believe melania was going with trump because of his looks and "deep connection" just lol…

eh, plenty of poor people in relationships

 

[Maaizr]

eh, plenty of poor people in relationships

got nothin better to do if you poor, i assume

 

[JinZhin]

I wonder as well, it never made sense to me and it was baffling how does one get to a point of getting to date someone.Like I understand it logically but I cannot grasp it with my brain. Like HOW

 

[ineedrope]

I believe it's easier for the not physically good looking to get a girl in person. Those dating apps are hell for average and below men.

 

[Beer]

The thing is, I don't really see how they did it. None of them are physically attractive, they are at best average. They don't have any skills that make them stand out. It's probably not "social ability" either, as they don't have particularly good social skills. Perhaps it's just my problem, and there is a way to make someone fall for you that I'm not aware of. Perhaps this, instead of looks, is the main difference between people who struggle to get into a relationship and people who don't.

Since no one mentioned this, maybe they went to courses where there are more girls than guys, so they're in a more predominantely female enviromnent which makes it easier

 

[NothingElseMatters]

Ask them for their credit card or banking statements and you may get an answer

Wish that was true, at least i could work harder to earn money and built some relationships.

 

[noname223]

The thing is, I don't really see how they did it. None of them are physically attractive, they are at best average. They don't have any skills that make them stand out. It's probably not "social ability" either, as they don't have particularly good social skills. Perhaps it's just my problem, and there is a way to make someone fall for you that I'm not aware of. Perhaps this, instead of looks, is the main difference between people who struggle to get into a relationship and people who don't.

Bro don't remind of that. I try to cut so many people out of my life. I just need to forget so many people. But I cannot forget my bullies. Almost noone of them has my phone number which is quite good. But someone messaged my best friend. He showed me a picture of this dude with his beautiful gf. I told my friend he should stop showing those messages. We had a little argument about it. He thought I was too sensitive. But this topic realy hurts me a lot. This is the reason why I often avoid it on SS.

 

[Chinaski]

It's not misogyny if it goes both ways.

Human beings love money. Sorry, fact of life . Non negotiable reality , might as well deal with it. Wars of succession, arranged marriages , imperial consorts , etc. it has been going on for a long time and will go on further

If you legit believe melania was going with trump because of his looks and "deep connection" just lol…

Misogyny, by definition, only goes one way.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

Bro don't remind of that. I try to cut so many people out of my life. I just need to forget so many people. But I cannot forget my bullies. Almost noone of them has my phone number which is quite good. But someone messaged my best friend. He showed me a picture of this dude with his beautiful gf. I told my friend he should stop showing those messages. We had a little argument about it. He thought I was too sensitive. But this topic realy hurts me a lot. This is the reason why I often avoid it on SS.

Seeing other guys hanging out with beautiful women hurt me a lot too, life is so unfair. loneliness is driving me crazy.

 

[Chinaski]

There is another website not far from here specifically for this bullshit jsyk

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

There is another website not far from here specifically for this bullshit jsyk

I suggest Ashley Madison