Discussion Manipulation

[nowaru]

Has anyone else looked back at relationships and seen how much they messed up/manipulated them because of how you feel? I keep thinking of the time I lost my best friend because of my own dumb actions. I can't really forgive myself for it and I know it was my fault. I still have dreams about her too, even five years later

 

[Pluto]

Being conscious of making mistakes is a very different thing to a genuinely manipulative 'Dark Triad' person who freely exploits people without feeling any sort of remorse. Also, dysfunctional friendships tend to be a 2-way street, not necessarily a case of one party deserving all the blame.

In general, relationships can be a mirror that show us our human flaws that are otherwise hidden when we are alone, or in shallow company like workplaces.

It is possible for old friendships to be rekindled down the line, or it is possible to evolve to new and healthier bonds with others which benefit from what has been learned previously. So there are other ways to approach it than beating ourselves up.

 

[Domimi]

Yes, being a narcissist is terrible. I want to connect with other people so much but I can't because I cannot just simply flip a switch and turn my empathy on and my selfishness off, it is one of the most prominent reasons for me to ctb.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

Yep, I had an old friend group that meant the world to me. However, because I couldn't stop talking about my problems, I ended up trauma dumping about my parents on them, which resulted in them leaving me because they were tired of me constantly talking about my problems.

 

[Csmith8827]

When I think of manipulation it always involves someone trying to manipulate me. Like parents etc...the shit is pure evil and there is no forgiveness. It's gonna end someday. All this stuff is. Until then it's just this kiddie nightmare...

 

[VioletNight]

I think back to a ton of relationships I've had and screwed up with insecurity and lying because I thought people wouldn't like me if I was truthful.

If you're aware and remorseful for your manipulation then you can probably work through it and make new friends

 

[m4rius]

It hurts so much as it makes you feel guilty.

All I wanted was to give the love I never had. It's very hard to process.