Venting makes no sense having friends when you have bpd

[soledad.virgen]

it feels so utterly pointless. why the fuck should i bother trying to make small talk about stupid shit when i need a new favorite person. its infuriating having to reach out to people who never do the same for you, and for what? nothing comes out of it, i feel nothing but the emptiness. but apparently if i try to focus my limited energy onto getting a new favorite person for my own happiness it's toxic

im getting so restless i just wanna die already

 

[encore]

fellow bpd here and i never understood why people feel the need to have friends. in my eyes this is just a downgrade and a placeholder for someone who could be a FP. i don't want to waste time talking to people and caring about them while knowing they don't understand me fully/i don't like them enough to invest further

friendships feel so performative to me

 

[CelesteLove]

I'm in the same boat. Why should I keep investing in making friends or getting a partner if they are going to leave me eventually? It makes no sense