Painless_end
Life is too difficult for me
- Oct 11, 2019
- 794
Make the choice I try to tell myself when I am alone and get the chance. Make the choice to CTB.
I can't make it. No matter how hard I try. A part of my brain prefers to live with constant subtle disgrace and humiliation rather than CTB.
It makes me depressed and helpless initially but then changes to anger. Yes, I know about the 5 stages of grief.
But this is about more than just that. I have neurological weaknesses with respect to living a meaningful life till old age. I want to end it, but I am not able to. It's like a fools hope, like a dream, that slips away from my grasp when I try to attempt it in reality.
I can't make it. No matter how hard I try. A part of my brain prefers to live with constant subtle disgrace and humiliation rather than CTB.
It makes me depressed and helpless initially but then changes to anger. Yes, I know about the 5 stages of grief.
But this is about more than just that. I have neurological weaknesses with respect to living a meaningful life till old age. I want to end it, but I am not able to. It's like a fools hope, like a dream, that slips away from my grasp when I try to attempt it in reality.