Discussion Main reason for staying alive. Poll

[Forever Sleep]

I know it's been asked multiple times in threads but, I'm not sure there's ever been a poll so...

What is your main reason for staying alive? I realise there may well be multiple reasons but, I limited it to single choice to see if we have any clear trends. I'm assuming most people have a main factor but feel free to expand on other factors in the comments if you like.

My main motivating factor for continuing on is a fear of what effect my suicide might have on loved ones. Following that though, I'm afraid of death or at least, the process of death. I'm not exactly thrilled to have to do some DIY method either. But the main one for me is the possible impact on others.

How about you? I feel like I must have missed some major reasons but, I guess they might come up...

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Lack of peaceful and accessible suicide methods + the current suicide statistics that are related to the method that I can access (i.e. drowning) deters me from trying to attempt to kill myself since it seems like there's a higher chance that I'd fail rather than succeed. Additionally, there's so much psychological pain that's involved if I were to try and kill myself, not just from SI and the attempt itself but also from running away from home late at night and transitioning from an environment with relative comfort (such as having access to shelter and warmth) to an environment where I have none of that. Plus I'd have to worry about my parents realising that I've ran away and then subsequently calling the police to try and find me.

The odds are against me and therefore I'd only be willing to attempt suicide if my life got extremely worse than what it currently is or if I'm about to be forced to get married and procreate

 

[Prism]

Fear of death is the only reason for me. I already know things won't improve, the few people left in my life would be better off without me, and I was lucky enough to be able to find a decent method.

 

[Namelesa]

My reason is mostly cus I don't have access to reliable and peaceful suicide methods. I am physically very sensitive and can't tolerate pain that well so I would like one that isn't painful but i can't access much methods cus of my parents.

However there is small emotionally part of me that does think about not dying cus of stuff that i would like to do with my life. Tho I do think that part of me is stupid cus I don't think much will make my life better to the point of me wanting to live.

I am only slightly afraid of death cus I just hope there isn't an afterlife and if there is I imagine its at least not going to be worse than this. I don't care about my ctb effecting my family cus they brought me into this hellish existence but I do care about how its going to effect my dog and the one friend who hasn't left me.

 

[avalokitesvara]

Waiting to hear if I will be granted the ability to live the life that is possible for me to live, or not. It's binary. If I find out it's "no" I will try again, but I haven't got unlimited tries in me and if it's still no after a decent effort then I will be catching that b. Despite having some fears and concern about my family's pain, that won't hold me back, I don't think, although I haven't yet reached the point of having to make that call yet. For me it's schroedinger's bus at this point in time.

 

[Tombs_in_your_eyes]

Fear of death, 100%. I have been using exposure and response prevention (ERP) techniques to try and reduce the fear to the point that dying is possible, but I don't think I'll ever manage it.

 

[uselessflesh]

general fear of losing myself, the few good traits i contain, of not coming back to start fresh with a better set of cards handed to me at birth, of my mother crying, and of missing out on content of my favorite characters and games? if i go through with it the only thing i can do is force, perhaps through dissociation, the thoughts away doing it on impulse and get over it before i can back out and especially risk lifelong damage. im thinking about getting accustomed to strangling myself as a form of both self harm and preparation so it isnt so scary

 

[OnMyLast Legs]

Fear of death is the only reason for me. I already know things won't improve, the few people left in my life would be better off without me, and I was lucky enough to be able to find a decent method.

Yep. Nothing left but the big one. Leaping into eternity is serious business.

My parents and brothers would be sad, but it's been obvious that I'm fucked up for a long time. They might even be relieved.

 

[Red Moon]

1) Lack of available methods, there's only hanging and jumping available. I'm going to be buying a thick rope for hanging but there's still a risk of becoming a paralyzed vegetable if it doesn't work.

2) Afterlife, I've seen people explain good and bad NDE's, their could be reincarnation or just lights out. No one really knows but that's another reason.

3) Family members will probably be upset when they see me in the coffin.

 

[Ruru-san]

I just don't want my people knowing I went out by suicide really. So I'm just waiting for the moment for "something" to happen to me that results in my death.

 

[TheHolySword]

I have stayed alive for as long as I have for my younger brother. I have accepted that it will cause unimaginable pain to the rest of my family and friends but it's going to break my heart to hurt him the way I know this will. But truthfully right now the only thing actually keeping me alive is that my life insurance doesn't pay out on suicide until it's been active for 2 years. Dying will destroy my younger brother in ways I do not even want to think about but if I can leave him with a decent amount of money maybe it'll be a bit easier to get through life

 

[pariah80]

I don't fear death, and I have a pretty reliable method. I'm just biding my time, honing my will, stilling my nerve, and having what last bits of fun I can before I leave this realm forever... hopefully.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

Just waiting for SN to arrive, I attempted 2 years ago and ended up too scared and the process was too painful. I now regret not going through with it completely. I won't make that mistake this time, and if the SN somehow doesn't work I have items ready to hang.

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

Waiting for the holidays to be over to take the plunge, don't want to be a bother this time of year. Next month I'll probably asked about my main method and finding my body... The lack of easy/peaceful methods bother me a lot but isn't a deterrent like affecting my loved ones. Though its happening kinda fast but for once in my life I need to not be a procrastinator. Planning to do a partial hanging in my backyard but I'm split on doing it somewhere else.

 

[kitkat9234]

All of the above.

Fear I won't be successful and that I will end up worse off (lose my job, end up in an institution.) Fear of what happens after death and how it will affect my daughter.

 

[waterbed]

The "what if" question if it fails and I end up crippled.

 

[F@#$]

Because I'm a gutless loser that must love this persistent misery.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

fear of failure and remaining alive with brain damage. they made someone helping you with suicide a crime . i can't hire someone to kill me so i have to use risky diy suicide methods. 31/32 suicide attempts fail because diy suicide methods are risky . look at how many people failed just here they were found or their si called the ER.

in the U.S. 49,000 committed suicide in 2022. but 1.6 million attempted so many failed and that is with guns in the US. . that's 1/32 ratio. and most died by firearms which are much more deadly than other methods so in the world where most don't have access to guns the attempt ratio is even higher. most of the failures were with non-gun methods most of the gun suicide attempts died

Suicide Statistics - SAVE: Suicide Prevention, Information, and Awareness

Find out more about the prevalence and impact of suicide in the United States.

www.save.org

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Just this movie which comes out in ten days. Once I see it there won't be much left to keep me around besides the preparations I need to do.

 

[ShatteredSerenity]

My reasons are mostly related to impact on family.

I created a nasty mess of my life, and I don't want to leave a huge burden on my family to clean up.

My children. I could never have done it when they were younger, but now they've grown and my situation has declined massively recently.

 

[nuclearnebula]

If you proved to me that after I died I would go to heaven than I would do it in a heartbeat

 

[-nobodyknows-]

It's complicated, to say the least. I don't fear death, and have attempted multiple times in the past. I do try to hope for the future, but in all honesty, I don't see how things could change. The kinds of things I want to do with my life are not possible for someone like me. Oh, and I'm pretty terrible at romantic relationships, given how awkward and depressing I am. Staying for other people though… yeah, right now, I'd say that's probably the best way to explain it. I really don't want someone I know to be the one to find me, so I'm trying to wait until my living situation changes, hoping that it will soon. I don't want to hurt other people, and since I know it inevitably will, I'd like to try to do so in a way that minimizes the impact.

 

[VoidBlessed]

Pesky survival instinct. I came really close that time I hit my carotids with partial but backed out at the last second. I'm pretty ashamed of it tbh.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Pesky survival instinct. I came really close that time I hit my carotids with partial but backed out at the last second. I'm pretty ashamed of it tbh.

I don't think you should feel ashamed. I'm kind of amazed anyone succeeds with patial. I'm certain I wouldn't have the will power for it. Do you think some of it's luck? If someone passes out quick enough?

But no, I really don't think you should feel embarassed. To me, it's like being embarassed of dropping a plate because it was boiling hot. It's just something we're designed to do. (Like you say- pesky SI.)

 

[CogitoMori]

The colorful, shining thread of hope that connected our hearts was cut and dimmed to gray. There is no telling or understanding of what caused this connection to fray. Touch starved hands twist threads of disappointment into a noose of despair and love weakened knees leap into the air, leaving this disappointment to finally hang and decay.

 

[Clam]

The only reason is that I still think I have some kind of control over myself and my own life, in that sense if I can't stand anymore the suffering life in general brings, I'll simply do it, nothing more, nothing less. There's no coming back from the death, and even if I do it now or tomorrow, or directly don't ctb, I'll die, I don't see any reason for rushing stuff if I'm not actively suffering, and I'm already living so if I want to stop it I will.

 

[noname37]

Just waiting for the right moment

 

[Agon321]

Definitely the fear of death. If it weren't for that, I would no longer exist.
Death is an enigma and I have fears of what I will see when I die.
Maybe I won't see anything and will cease to exist entirely? Or maybe not...
I know I can't escape death, but my brain wants to delay it as long as possible.

 

[Salkak]

Not being able to find the right method. Plus a little bit of worry about loved ones. I have accepted there is nothing after death. I just need a method and alone time

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

Other, I have to take care of three cats for two people. Once I'm done with that I'm out with next day shipping.