Story Made a mistake 5 years ago and can't stop thinking about it. Anyone with a similar problem?

[sickboy55]

It's dumb. I matched with a really cute guy on Tinder about 5 years ago, but went on a vacation the next day so I thought I will message him after I arrived home. During my time abroad, I got an UTI which took a pretty long time, about two months to heal. I was really stressed out by this and didn't have the energy to deal with online dating. By the time I got better and wanted to message him, he deleted his profile. Trying to find him on other social media was also impossible.

Since then, I sometimes forget about it for months, then it comes into my mind and think about it every day and I hate myself because of it. It happened very rarely that I matched with someone I found this attractive and I fucked it up by waiting unnecessarily due to some minor health issue. I don't want to think about it anymore but I can't. Now I'm dealing with much more severe chronic illness and this is the last thing I need.

I never met him, only saw some low-quality pics of him and don't know anything about his personality. It's likely that we still wouldn't have met in person even if I had messaged him, as only a minority of online chats turn into a date. Even if we had met, there's a big chance that I wouldn't have found him attractive in person. I know these, but it doesn't change how I feel.

Anyone with a similar experience? What can one do in this situation?

 

[whybother2002]

It's very hard to let go when we are atracted to an ideal instead of a person. And they usually represent everything that could have gone right in our lifes. It's so sad, I know exactly how you feel. But we need to keep our feet on the ground. I know your problems are much bigger than that, but the goal must be to get better so that old fantasies won't do us harm anymore. Life sucks so much, fantasizing makes it only worse.

You didn't commit any mistake.

PS. sorry if I sound pro-life or anything like that.