Lost

[whitetea]

The one person I thought I could trust and rely on has let me down.

My whole life has been fuck up after fuck up. And I finally had some hope. I finally felt some light and happiness almost daily - I wasn't thinking about ending it. I wanted to carry on. For once I had a reason other than my son to be here. I was okay.

And now it's all gone. And I don't know what to do. Where to start with my plans to end it. I just feel so broken. So hurt. So betrayed. So stupid for allowing myself to be convinced into thinking I was special to someone. So sick of humans and all the lies and games people play.

I just want to be gone and sleep forever. Im not cut out for it. I don't fit in here. X

 

[Giraffey]

I feel this whitetea and I'm so sorry, I'm going through almost exactly the same emotions and thought processes right now.

I'm afraid that I don't have any sound advice to give as I haven't yet figured the way out of this pain myself yet, I'm desperately searching for another door that doesn't open into an endless drop to the abyss.

But every hopeful breath I draw appears to lead me closer to that fateful abyss door, as if the universe itself is trying to tell me "Slow, your atoms are needed elsewhere, don't let me make this life even harder for you, hurry up and kill yourself".

I'm trying to remain hopeful that there is still another way out, and I hope that you can somehow find the strength to feel that hope again too, somehow.

Until then, from one lonesome voyager to another, as we are aimlessly drifting through the void growing colder, our hopes of ever feeling the light again fading rapidly with the distancing sun - try to stay strong and keep an open mind. Sending big space hugs.

 

[whitetea]

I feel this whitetea and I'm so sorry, I'm going through almost exactly the same emotions and thought processes right now.

I'm afraid that I don't have any sound advice to give as I haven't yet figured the way out of this pain myself yet, I'm desperately searching for another door that doesn't open into an endless drop to the abyss.

But every hopeful breath I draw appears to lead me closer to that fateful abyss door, as if the universe itself is trying to tell me "Slow, your atoms are needed elsewhere, don't let me make this life even harder for you, hurry up and kill yourself".

I'm trying to remain hopeful that there is still another way out, and I hope that you can somehow find the strength to feel that hope again too, somehow.

Until then, from one lonesome voyager to another, as we are aimlessly drifting through the void growing colder, our hopes of ever feeling the light again fading rapidly with the distancing sun - try to stay strong and keep an open mind. Sending big space hugs.

Hugs and strength to you too.

 

[madbananas]

The one person I thought I could trust and rely on has let me down.

My whole life has been fuck up after fuck up. And I finally had some hope. I finally felt some light and happiness almost daily - I wasn't thinking about ending it. I wanted to carry on. For once I had a reason other than my son to be here. I was okay.

And now it's all gone. And I don't know what to do. Where to start with my plans to end it. I just feel so broken. So hurt. So betrayed. So stupid for allowing myself to be convinced into thinking I was special to someone. So sick of humans and all the lies and games people play.

I just want to be gone and sleep forever. Im not cut out for it. I don't fit in here. X

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I too have just experienced similar and basically your post looks like something I could have written (apart from me not having a child). People can be cruel whether they mean to be or not. x

 

[whitetea]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I too have just experienced similar and basically your post looks like something I could have written (apart from me not having a child). People can be cruel whether they mean to be or not. x

I've read some of your posts, I'm sorry you are hurting too.

 

[Harleyyy]

The one person I thought I could trust and rely on has let me down.

My whole life has been fuck up after fuck up. And I finally had some hope. I finally felt some light and happiness almost daily - I wasn't thinking about ending it. I wanted to carry on. For once I had a reason other than my son to be here. I was okay.

And now it's all gone. And I don't know what to do. Where to start with my plans to end it. I just feel so broken. So hurt. So betrayed. So stupid for allowing myself to be convinced into thinking I was special to someone. So sick of humans and all the lies and games people play.

I just want to be gone and sleep forever. Im not cut out for it. I don't fit in here. X

I feel you. I dont have a child but in place of that a family.
I am sorry you feel this way. I hope you find happiness and peace without having to end your life. I am just a stranger to you but for what it's worth, sending you lots of love. ❤