Venting Lost the sodium nitrite I had stashed just when I need it.

[MissingThyme]

My wife promised me things would get better. She lied. It's all a lie and I'm useless and alone. I just got confirmation that she cut me out of something I *started* to connect with people. One of my favorite hobbies and my sense of creativity is just...poisoned now. Full of bad memories. I feel so hollow and hopeless.

We separated and I moved somewhere else. I thought I had the sodium nitrite tucked away and brought in first thing so it wouldn't destabilize in the heat, but I cannot find it after going through every box and bag I brought three times already. If it dropped in the car the heat has already destabilized it. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be anywhere.

Thank you for listening/reading.

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to be gone, I'm sorry you suffer in this cruel existence, I also feel so tired of it all. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[MissingThyme]

So the 'good' news is that she didn't carry on the thing I was talking about. I think maybe something I said in that last acrimonious argument about it worked.

The bad news is that it doesn't undo the damage done to our relationship, and the person I am dating has cooled towards me. And I still haven't found my SN. ;_;I still feel so alone.