Hi all,
A family member took my SN and poured it down the drain. At the same time, I'm facing some of the worst moments of my life alone. It hurts a lot.
I've tried so hard to recover from feeling sad and suicidal, but I'm in so much physical and emotional pain right now. It's just too much and no matter how positive and optimistic I try to be, I cannot deny how challenging things have become and how there's new bad news happening every single day for several weeks now, to a point where I feel like I can't take it anymore.
It's frustrating that the only thing that made me feel somewhat in control of my life, my SN, was taken from me. I don't know what other method to consider, everything has it's flaw and is less reliable it feels like.
I changed my name a couple weeks ago. I called my mom who's violent and stalkerish to tell her instantly because I did not want it to come as a surprise to her and for her to lose her temper. She said that was fine after I had a 3 hour phone call with her where I explained several times why I changed it and everything did genuinly seem alright.
A couple days ago I sent her some money as a thank you and to help her out financially because she always complains about having no money. She then saw that it was sent from me and the bank showed my new name, the name I had told her about some weeks ago.
She lost it completely, started spamming our family group chat, our 1 on 1 chat and the individual private chats she had with all my family members. She spammed that I have had no family since I broke my feet and ended up in a wheelchair in 2021. That nobody will show up to my funeral. That I'm disrespectful and evil. All because I had changed my name. She then started writing long paragraph lists of all the things she's done for me and how dare I mistreat her by changing my name?
I wasn't able to read everything because it was so much, it went on for hours and I was called a lot of horrible insults and names.
I don't know what to feel or think, I just want everything to be over. Why is everything so difficult and such a nightmare. Why can't I just live a life in peace or just end it all.
I haven't done anything to anyone, I just want peace and quiet, and to be by myself.
A family member took my SN and poured it down the drain. At the same time, I'm facing some of the worst moments of my life alone. It hurts a lot.
I've tried so hard to recover from feeling sad and suicidal, but I'm in so much physical and emotional pain right now. It's just too much and no matter how positive and optimistic I try to be, I cannot deny how challenging things have become and how there's new bad news happening every single day for several weeks now, to a point where I feel like I can't take it anymore.
It's frustrating that the only thing that made me feel somewhat in control of my life, my SN, was taken from me. I don't know what other method to consider, everything has it's flaw and is less reliable it feels like.
I changed my name a couple weeks ago. I called my mom who's violent and stalkerish to tell her instantly because I did not want it to come as a surprise to her and for her to lose her temper. She said that was fine after I had a 3 hour phone call with her where I explained several times why I changed it and everything did genuinly seem alright.
A couple days ago I sent her some money as a thank you and to help her out financially because she always complains about having no money. She then saw that it was sent from me and the bank showed my new name, the name I had told her about some weeks ago.
She lost it completely, started spamming our family group chat, our 1 on 1 chat and the individual private chats she had with all my family members. She spammed that I have had no family since I broke my feet and ended up in a wheelchair in 2021. That nobody will show up to my funeral. That I'm disrespectful and evil. All because I had changed my name. She then started writing long paragraph lists of all the things she's done for me and how dare I mistreat her by changing my name?
I wasn't able to read everything because it was so much, it went on for hours and I was called a lot of horrible insults and names.
I don't know what to feel or think, I just want everything to be over. Why is everything so difficult and such a nightmare. Why can't I just live a life in peace or just end it all.
I haven't done anything to anyone, I just want peace and quiet, and to be by myself.
