Lost Religion

[Robbyna]

Has anyone else lost their religious faith? I used to fully believe in God, but now I don't. I've prayed for my life to get better or I've prayed to die and neither happened. I would prefer to die now. I'm so incredibly excited for my life to end; it can't come soon enough. I don't care about an afterlife anymore and that is intensely comforting. At this point I am convinced that organized religion has always just been a political tool and a form of mind control. I think organic life blindly thrives until it reaches an impossible barrier or wastes away. That's all. I'm happy with that...now I just need to find my barrier as I have no interest in waiting to waste away. I tried to CTB unsuccessfully this weekend, but luckily I wasn't caught. My method just failed with no consequences. I'm so disappointed. Since I've lost my faith I feel far more liberated in my quest to CTB there's only the survival instinct but I feel it dwindling down to nothing. If I had a sure method right in front of me (that wouldn't harm anyone else) there would be no stopping me and in an odd way it's made me so happy. Who would've thought my happiness would come in the form of suicidal thoughts? I can't wait to go.

 

[YukiFox]

I was born and raised on a religious and conservative home. My mom used to be partisan of Opus Dei, one of the strictest branches of Catholicism and she pray an rosary every day. So, naturally, I was baptized in Catholic Church.
But frankly, I lost interest in religion very quickly. Then on my 16 years old started my errand path to find God into Pentecostal - Jehovah's Witnesses - Pentecostal again - Seventh Day Adventist - Pentecostal third string and finally I stopped to be Christian on April 2016, all for trying to pray away my desire for men and achieve the ideal marriage with another pious woman and have kids. Today on 2019 I think I'm a trans woman and even that there are some LGBT affirming churches out there I can't trust on god Yahweh and their son Jesus anymore.
Well, since then, I am an universally pagan, that means I embrace all kind of non-monotheistic spiritualities and I became more aware of my Spirit Guide since then. I lost all confidence and interest to Christianity of all branches. I don't deny Yahweh, I only don't trust him nor worship him since I consider them an slavery deity, an mental servitude god.
I'm glad to be pagan and I don't fear the death anymore, and when I'll ready to take my own life I'll be in peace and I will be welcoming for my personal Goddess.

 

[Alecsa]

I was raised by conservative Catholics. Went to an all-girls Catholic school until uni. I actually grew up thinking that

1.It's unacceptable for someone to be an atheist.

2. Prayer before anything and everything is the norm.

3. I was a filthy, low-life sinner and I had to constantly confess about lustful thoughts etc.

I practically grew tired of this shit eventually. Got tired of always feeling guilty. It's just more convenient and very much liberating to not have religion shackle you into submission. If I was a sinner, might as well just play the part.

However, one drawback is I still can't shake off the thought of the afterlife, souls, heaven, hell etc. Still gets to me sometimes. I still believe in a higher being, but now I see religion as a big load of steaming, fresh BS.

Sometimes I just picture "God" and my dead grandma double facepalming with how i now practically live a life of sin. But eh. It's just better this way.

 

[Robbyna]

I was born and raised on a religious and conservative home. My mom used to be partisan of Opus Dei, one of the strictest branches of Catholicism and she pray an rosary every day. So, naturally, I was baptized in Catholic Church.
But frankly, I lost interest in religion very quickly. Then on my 16 years old started my errand path to find God into Pentecostal - Jehovah's Witnesses - Pentecostal again - Seventh Day Adventist - Pentecostal third string and finally I stopped to be Christian on April 2016, all for trying to pray away my desire for men and achieve the ideal marriage with another pious woman and have kids. Today on 2019 I think I'm a trans woman and even that there are some LGBT affirming churches out there I can't trust on god Yahweh and their son Jesus anymore.
Well, since then, I am an universally pagan, that means I embrace all kind of non-monotheistic spiritualities and I became more aware of my Spirit Guide since then. I lost all confidence and interest to Christianity of all branches. I don't deny Yahweh, I only don't trust him nor worship him since I consider them an slavery deity, an mental servitude god.
I'm glad to be pagan and I don't fear the death anymore, and when I'll ready to take my own life I'll be in peace and I will be welcoming for my personal Goddess.

Thank you for sharing! I also have an undefined feeling of spirituality that makes me feel at peace with death.

I was raised by conservative Catholics. Went to an all-girls Catholic school until uni. I actually grew up thinking that

1.It's unacceptable for someone to be an atheist.

2. Prayer before anything and everything is the norm.

3. I was a filthy, low-life sinner and I had to constantly confess about lustful thoughts etc.
I practically grew tired of this shit eventually. Got tired of always feeling guilty
It's just more convenient and very much liberating to not have religion shackle you into submission. If I was a sinner, might as well just play the part.

However, one drawback is I still can't shake off the thought of the afterlife, souls, heaven, hell etc. Still gets to me sometimes. I still believe in a higher being, but now I see religion as a big load of steaming, fresh BS.

Sometimes I just picture "God" and my dead grandma double facepalming with how i now practically live a life of sin. But eh. It's just better this way.

It is very hard to shake the indoctrination. You kind of have it i the back of your mind as a possible truth... just a nagging feeling.

 

[ForestLove]

I also used to believe in God but after something drastic happened in my Life, I don't believe anymore. Everyday I pray to let me die but sadly, I'm still here. I believe more in nature than God. Coz I love nature.

 

[interim]

I think I never believed in a God that cares about me, so I didn't experience such shock... I didn't expect life to be so absurd though, but... you live and learn, like they say... I'm generally agnostic, although I think there is "something", but there is not way to say what it is exactly, until I die. So, this is just one more reason to die... Confront whatever is out there, since I'm done confronting life here...

 

[meaningisgone]

I was raised in a Baptist environment. Started to lose the faith as a teenager due to contradictions and unanswerable questions in the doctrine and hypocrisy in the people. Was never able to go full-on atheist, because I couldn't observe the universe around me, the micro and macro patterns in nature and its delicate but enduring balance, without imagining that it had all been designed in some way. So I became agnostic.

Then strangely through drug use, I had some spiritual experiences that felt absolutely real and mind blowing, that convinced me that God exists, but not in the typical Christian bearded sky daddy dude sense. More like "God" is the universe itself and everything that exists is a part of that. It's a form of pantheism. But now days, even though those drug experiences were pretty amazing, I acknowledge that they may not have been as objectively true or profound as they felt.

At this point, I don't really know anything for sure. I know I can't ever go back to the religion of my upbringing though. That shit doesn't make a lick of sense.

 

[Norest4thewicked]

Raised as a protestant. Lost my faith by the time I was 14. I've had no time for religion at all. I have found atheism very liberating