Venting Lost a potential job

[Parnate]

I am male, 28, jobless, I stay alone and supported by my family. My family is otherwise nice but they are antimedicine and totally against psychiatry. So without the knowledge of my family, I go to a charitable hospital that offers free psychiatric consultation since I can't afford a private one.

Well , I recently was started on buspirone for depression and anxiety and it really helped a lot. Like I could even do the tasks I dreaded and hated. But like most antidepressants it too raised my hunger and made me Binge on food. My psychiatrist doesn't believe it. So I started using metformin to counter the excess hunger and metformin did help, but it again worsened my depression and fatigue.
Coincidentally I got a call from a company I had applied for a job . This company asked me to be on trial period of 3 days. Starting since the past Thursday. I went on Thursday but I wanted to run away within the first few hours. Somehow I stretched myself and completed the day. But on the next day I didn't go there. And nor did I go today. I quit metformin after that and I am solely on buspirone and trying to find something that can normalize my appetite.

I had informed my family about this trial period. I am lying to my family about it. I told them that I am going there when infact I am here in my home on bed doing nothing
I feel guilty and horrible about it now. Why is my body such almost every medication I try ends up doing the same raising my appetite and weight. If there is a God I really hate him for making me this ways.

As for the job, The work isn't really good. Also working overtime with no extra pay for overtime is a norm of that company , I was informed of that before .

Well I have set a deadline of June this year cause as per astrology I am having a bad period until April. If by June end I am not able to get my shit under control then ctb it is.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are in this situation. It sounds like you have been through a lot. It can be horrible being trapped in this human body as it is capable of torturing us. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[Foresight]

Man that happens. I know the disappointment hurts but be gentle on yourself when you can. Sometimes jobs fall though. You had medication altering your state. That's a battle we can't win until the medicine is out of our system. I really think when jobs fall through like that it just wasn't meant to be.

I really liked wellbutrin for curbing binging from medicines. I have binge eating disorder without medications so I know the struggle. Wellbutrin just vibed with my system just right. I don't know if it can go with buspar but maybe look into it and talk to your doctor.

What is influencing your chart negatively until April? I've been working around astrology consistently this year. I'm not super knowledgeable but it's endlessly interesting to me.

 

[Graytaichi]

Take it easy. I been out of job for at least 6 months. I been working for company A for 14 years .
@Parnate its only a fucking job . Takr it easy , some people have been working at mac donalds yet they are happy. Find a job that makes you happy not income matters.

 

[Superdeterminist]

This really highlights the big problem with side effects and more generally, trying to alter complex systems. When you change one element, an element elsewhere is likely to change, perhaps in a way you really don't want. But I hope you can find the right combo that solves both issues of appetite and depression.

 

[Parnate]

Man that happens. I know the disappointment hurts but be gentle on yourself when you can. Sometimes jobs fall though. You had medication altering your state. That's a battle we can't win until the medicine is out of our system. I really think when jobs fall through like that it just wasn't meant to be.

I really liked wellbutrin for curbing binging from medicines. I have binge eating disorder without medications so I know the struggle. Wellbutrin just vibed with my system just right. I don't know if it can go with buspar but maybe look into it and talk to your doctor.

What is influencing your chart negatively until April? I've been working around astrology consistently this year. I'm not super knowledgeable but it's endlessly interesting to me.

Well I was on wellbutrin/bupropion and even that too raised my appetite. Duloxetine didn't but it gave me burning mouth syndrome.
As for astrology I am a Capricorn and right now Saturn is in Capricorn until April end. As per vedic astrology that is the cause of suffering, so hopefully by may or June it shall get better.

Take it easy. I been out of job for at least 6 months. I been working for company A for 14 years .
@Parnate its only a fucking job . Takr it easy , some people have been working at mac donalds yet they are happy. Find a job that makes you happy not income matters.

I actually wanted to do an easier job and I am okay . But the thing is that I have a post graduation degree and doing a job below my reputation(the word used in my country, I respect all jobs and belive in dignity of labor) will make people like family and friends look down upon me. Also I am afraid they will not approve of that and be unsupported.
I am very sensitive and I have AVPD . I sort of need a approval and validation from others
And most importantly , unless I am treated for depression I cannot function.