Losing someone close to you

[CallmeWill4719]

I made a post about this already although this is slightly different, still trying to deal with losing someone close to me who lost their own battle to their mental illness. I haven't been too suicidal but I have been very very depressed. This person I actually met on here and while we completely understood each other, sometimes I have to wonder if the relationship was even healthy.

I just saw a post on here it was someone saying does anyone else come on here to feel less alone and that is it. Soul crushing loneliness will make anybody desperate for any kind of company, no matter how toxic it might be. I thought my friend committed suicide and maybe they still will but I heard they were still alive and just wish they didn't give up on themselves and our friendship.

I'm going to try to keep this post brief l, I know I ramble, I'm just reminded of what Batman told Owlman in Justice League crisis of two Earth if anyone saw that movie: "there is a difference between us, we both looked into the abyss but when it looked back, you blinked"

Oh how I wish I could blink out existence right now but still keep going on anyway. Thanks for anyone who reads this I'm just trying to find new friends if anyone's interested or I'll just keep trying elsewhere. I'll try to find something local it's just hard.

TLDR trying to recover from being betrayed by someone who lost their battle to their demons. It's no competition but he was worse for sure. I still miss him.

 

[lacustra]

Which part of the world are you from?

 

[CallmeWill4719]

Which part of the world are you from?

The USA why

 

[isolatedl111]

I made a post about this already although this is slightly different, still trying to deal with losing someone close to me who lost their own battle to their mental illness. I haven't been too suicidal but I have been very very depressed. This person I actually met on here and while we completely understood each other, sometimes I have to wonder if the relationship was even healthy.

I just saw a post on here it was someone saying does anyone else come on here to feel less alone and that is it. Soul crushing loneliness will make anybody desperate for any kind of company, no matter how toxic it might be. I thought my friend committed suicide and maybe they still will but I heard they were still alive and just wish they didn't give up on themselves and our friendship.

I'm going to try to keep this post brief l, I know I ramble, I'm just reminded of what Batman told Owlman in Justice League crisis of two Earth if anyone saw that movie: "there is a difference between us, we both looked into the abyss but when it looked back, you blinked"

Oh how I wish I could blink out existence right now but still keep going on anyway. Thanks for anyone who reads this I'm just trying to find new friends if anyone's interested or I'll just keep trying elsewhere. I'll try to find something local it's just hard.

TLDR trying to recover from being betrayed by someone who lost their battle to their demons. It's no competition but he was worse for sure. I still miss him.

I think I would be able to move on easily

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sadly, it's always going to be a risk here I'm afraid. People here are (obviously) dealing with all sorts. It's not just that they might CTB. Some may just find it hard to maintain relationships. They may decide they need to leave the forum for their own health- if it's too triggering for them. I've 'lost' people here to varying causes. Sometimes, not even finding out why. It can be pretty upsetting but I've come to realise that it goes with the course. It's a bit like people in real life. I try super hard not to rely on others now. Not to rely that they will reply or do stuff they say they will. I don't think it's always mallice that causes it. I just think people are struggling more than most on here. I'm sorry you've had these experiences though.

 

[CallmeWill4719]

Sadly, it's always going to be a risk here I'm afraid. People here are (obviously) dealing with all sorts. It's not just that they might CTB. Some may just find it hard to maintain relationships. They may decide they need to leave the forum for their own health- if it's too triggering for them. I've 'lost' people here to varying causes. Sometimes, not even finding out why. It can be pretty upsetting but I've come to realise that it goes with the course. It's a bit like people in real life. I try super hard not to rely on others now. Not to rely that they will reply or do stuff they say they will. I don't think it's always mallice that causes it. I just think people are struggling more than most on here. I'm sorry you've had these experiences though.

I remind myself you know people do go through this everyday friendships do end no matter the reason and we all have our own thing going on but it's just hard. Every day that goes by seems to make this a little easier but I will always care about them. We had a lot of long-term stuff planned or fantasized about. Thank you for your understanding and I'm sorry you have dealt with this too. It is what it is I guess.

I think I would be able to move on easily

We had a lot of long-term stuff planned or at least I thought we did but it was a 2-month friendship, while seemingly brief to others it was a very long time for us. We both had our mental stuff but he was worse and I just have to live with that I just have to cherish what we had and try to move on. Sorry I'm so heavy with y'all. Just telling people learn from my mistake don't get too close to anybody on here as tempting as it might be.

 

[MidnightCat]

That's something I'm always scared here...

There's a lot of kind souls in this forum, sadly it seems like you need to suffer to be kind...

When I feel a connection in a friendship or simply having a good time chatting/dming it's always in the back of my mind.

But I try to think about it in a different way, I was able to enjoy some time with them! (and they where able to enjoy too), so in the end, even when people is eventually gone... We all had those fulfilling moments.