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kunikuzushi
sause
- Jan 24, 2023
- 222
I've regrettably told my partner about my suicidal thoughts in the past. And I forgot most people aren't desensitized to this topic, so they got really disturbed.
Ever since then they keep telling me they'll support me while I get better. I keep saying I don't want to get better. They get really upset. I tell them I have no future because of all my trauma and personality disorders making life hell and making it impossible for me to keep a job and take care of myself. They tell me it's my choice whether I have a future or not. Fuck that. I'm destroyed and they keep invalidating how much I'm suffering.
Lately I've completely shut down and they are very upset that I stopped showing affection and don't have energy to do anything with them. Of course I understand that I'm hurting them. I've told them I'm trying my best and they haven't left me yet, but they keep saying they can't handle how I am anymore. I don't want to be alone, but I guess that's selfish when I'm planning on dying soon.
Ever since then they keep telling me they'll support me while I get better. I keep saying I don't want to get better. They get really upset. I tell them I have no future because of all my trauma and personality disorders making life hell and making it impossible for me to keep a job and take care of myself. They tell me it's my choice whether I have a future or not. Fuck that. I'm destroyed and they keep invalidating how much I'm suffering.
Lately I've completely shut down and they are very upset that I stopped showing affection and don't have energy to do anything with them. Of course I understand that I'm hurting them. I've told them I'm trying my best and they haven't left me yet, but they keep saying they can't handle how I am anymore. I don't want to be alone, but I guess that's selfish when I'm planning on dying soon.