Help Losing my virginity

[TAW122]

I have found a subreddit on reddit called VirginityExchange for people who are looking to lose their virginity. However, I'd like to get your thoughts on whether this might be a better alternative than going to Nevada or overseas to Germany or Netherlands to lose my virginity? Keep in mind that I'm more interested in knowing what sexual intercourse feels like than a silly label assigned by Western society about being a 'virgin'. While being a virgin and having that label bothers me, my curiosity of sexual intercourse bothers me more as I'm more of an intellectual guy so I can't get over what I don't know, especially for things that I never experienced and am curious about.

The things I could see being dangerous is meeting up with strangers at a private location such as a hotel, motel room, their place, etc. Also, the fact that if the person could be a sting officer trying to set me up, or someone who lied about their age (people who claim they are of legal age, when in fact they are underage) and given that it's the Internet, this is a very risky endeavor that I'm pursuing.

So any thoughts in regards to this? Should I give this a chance, and if so, what are your tips on how I would go about this?

 

[Youthanasia]

Don't. That's your brain finding a workaround something that is difficult for you to do.

I can give you some better advice if i knew your gender, age (if youre worried about dox just don't, if you don't want to pm me, whatever) and how much money you'd be willing to invest in this adventure

Yes, it is an adventure, getting laid is fucking awesome and you should totally do it

Other information that could be useful:

Can you afford a prostitute?
Do you live in a big city?
Do you own a car?
Do you have to spend money in a motel?
What is your experience making out (Ever kissed? Girlfriends/boyfriends?)
Do you have an issue with alcohol?
Have you ever shaved your genitals?

Again just answer what you feel is good for you

 

[TAW122]

I am 28 year old Asian male living in NC, and no sadly, I don't live in a big city, but rather a medium sized city. I do have a car and do have money for a night in a motel/hotel. As far as my experiences, I'm a kissless virgin (assuming you don't count being kissed on the cheek as a 'kiss') and never had a girlfriend nor relationship. I don't really have much of an issue with alcohol, but if you are suggesting that I learn the social skills to pick up women, talk to women, and go through all the bullshit of social interactions and knowing the signs, then I'm afraid that will be not only very mentally draining and taxing for me, as my Aspergers and social awkwardness will fuck me over. As far as my physique, I'm about 5' 10", am skinny-fat, buttery face (looks younger than my actual age), look like a nerd.

I would rather just get straight to the sex without all the trouble of playing the social game, rejection, and what not. I'm not interested in getting a relationship.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

I really don't get why you'd go the extra mile and find someone advertising their virginity on a subreddit. Yet you won't go to a local escort in your area. Escort in your area (when you look up reviews of them) would be significantly cheaper than going to Nevada or Amsterdam. You brought up your concerns of visiting someone who is a total stranger on a subreddit. Some of those emotions or feelings can be alleviated by an escort in your area or out of country/state travel.

I would rather just get straight to the sex without all the trouble of playing the social game, rejection, and what not. I'm not interested in getting a relationship.

Kind of why I mentioned in the last thread about this is find a girl you find attractive on an escort site. Brothels are going to be expensive -- especially if you're wanting to travel to Nevada where they'd probably cost you $800. An escort who offers MSOG in the allotted time frame you paid for will be fine for you imo.

 

[Youthanasia]

I am 28 year old Asian male living in NC, and no sadly, I don't live in a big city, but rather a medium sized city. I do have a car and do have money for a night in a motel/hotel. As far as my experiences, I'm a kissless virgin (assuming you don't count being kissed on the cheek as a 'kiss') and never had a girlfriend nor relationship. I don't really have much of an issue with alcohol, but if you are suggesting that I learn the social skills to pick up women, talk to women, and go through all the bullshit of social interactions and knowing the signs, then I'm afraid that will be not only very mentally draining and taxing for me, as my Aspergers and social awkwardness will fuck me over. As far as my physique, I'm about 5' 10", am skinny-fat, buttery face (looks younger than my actual age), look like a nerd.

I would rather just get straight to the sex without all the trouble of playing the social game, rejection, and what not. I'm not interested in getting a relationship.

Doesnt matter I never considered the science behind the social ritual that someone without experience (and even some with) would consider absolute bullshit since we're on a suicidal community

But honestly 28 and kissless you should give it a go imo. I won't make a hard case for it, but if there's something women got right is that 'chemestry' as a whole makes a difference. You're literally skipping steps, too.

#1 option for the sake of practicity would be getting a hooker. They won't care about anything about you and they might even like the idea of introducing you to their area of expertise.

#2 would be climbing the ladder like other people. You have a good age to do that because you're neither too old or too young. It's easy to walk in a night club and approach women. Alcohol helps for both.

Being used to making out will make sex more enjoyable. Which is why I recommend #2. A lot of people get frustrated on their first time because they don't know what they're doing and sometimes that will piss the other person off.

If you really just want to get laid, hire a pro. If you want to enjoy the ritual of babymaking to its fullest (And imo its very worth it), it's time to use that testosterone evaporating through your ears.

I'd be willing to give any advice you'd want on that. I tried to ctb at age 17 because I was conpletely unable to pick up women and that consumed me too much so believe me when I say, we have a lot in common. And in the end, it really is simpler than we first think it is.

For the record, i absolutely kickdd depression out of my life back then and i think the entire process even turned me into someone superior than average/most (Look i don't want someone to show up in here and quote me saying HURR DURR CHAD) in this subject

 

[TAW122]

@Youthanasia I think I'd go with a pro (legally) or an escort. I am looking at doing everything 'legally' while also protecting myself from scams and dangerous situations (personal safety - such as avoiding getting robbed, beaten up, mugged, etc.). I feel that once I lose the pesky v-card, and mostly, fulfill my curiosity, then I would be able to gain the drive and confidence to move forward in pursuing dating (I know it sounds like I'm putting the 'cart before the horse' but that's how my brain works..). We could discuss more in PM if you'd like.

@HelensNepenthe When making this thread and weighing my options, I've considered cost (in money and time), effort and distance (how far to travel), and also availability (depending on geographical location). Therefore, the subreddit for me seems cheaper while an escort would cost me hundreds and no guarantee of sexual intercourse. As far as visting brothels in Nevada or going overseas, I believe that I'm getting whatever I paid for. Sorry if I wasn't clear or making any sense. Let me know if that answers your questions.

 

[weargon]

Just join some online dating apps like Tinder, POF, Bumble (most other ones are shit and have no activity) and practice talking to women. You will eventually come to realize that there's 20 males for every 1 female on these apps, most of them send them creepy dick pics and stalk them or something so they will naturally just hate all of us.

Don't ever pay for premium upgrades on those apps, it's like feeding vermin, you just don't want to reward those animals.

Eventually you'll click with someone here and there and your emotions will make you forget that you really should have 0 hope to avoid disappointment or looking too eager for that person.

You'll get dumped a few times here and there and feel like a drug addict going through detox while all your emotional brain chemicals settle.

Eventually you'll get laid.

Then you'll break up again and start the whole cycle all over.

Soon you will start to realize that women don't like you for being a nice or smart guy, and keep finding retarded assholes while telling you about how tragic their experiences with ignorant assholes have been. But if you ever try to be an asshole, somehow it doesn't work because I guess you just don't have the asshole genes or something.

After about 20-30 rounds of this you start to loose faith in the human race and consider catching the bus and join this forum while you furiously masturbate to every single porn out there.

Oh wait where am I going with all of this hmm lmao.

 

[HelensNepenthe]

@HelensNepenthe When making this thread and weighing my options, I've considered cost (in money and time), effort and distance (how far to travel), and also availability (depending on geographical location). Therefore, the subreddit for me seems cheaper while an escort would cost me hundreds and no guarantee of sexual intercourse. As far as visting brothels in Nevada or going overseas, I believe that I'm getting whatever I paid for. Sorry if I wasn't clear or making any sense. Let me know if that answers your questions.

You'll get sex out of an escort. There are sites that advertise it. I'm sure if you looked up on your search engine "[city] escort" that you'd find a site or two that has listings. I talked in my last post about review sites and how you can verify the authenticity of your escort. They know what you want and they provide that service for you. It isn't a line of work they particularly find enjoyable. There's a significant difference between actual intimacy with another person and having sex for cash.

Some women do offer alternate payments instead of cash like Venmo. If those make you feel safer to use. You also can talk with them and tell them what is up. One that is willing to give you some time to talk about your situation has the right intentions. I just wouldn't creepily comment how you're a virgin to them but that you lack experience -- if that conversation does come up.

As far as visting brothels in Nevada or going overseas, I believe that I'm getting whatever I paid for. Sorry if I wasn't clear or making any sense. Let me know if that answers your questions.

Right. You are. These are actual businesses.

 

[TAW122]

You'll get sex out of an escort. There are sites that advertise it. I'm sure if you looked up on your search engine "[city] escort" that you'd find a site or two that has listings. I talked in my last post about review sites and how you can verify the authenticity of your escort. They know what you want and they provide that service for you. It isn't a line of work they particularly find enjoyable. There's a significant difference between actual intimacy with another person and having sex for cash.

I actually found some on eros, and while there are some that I want, some of them do not offer their prices (so I would not know how much they charge per hour) or some would want references from other escorts before even considering a client (catch 22 for me as I never had any escorts see me). Also, I fully agree with your last sentence. I am just looking for the physical experience of sex and I know that there is NOT real intimacy as I'm paying for it, so I have that aspect covered (If I do have sex, I'm going in with the mindset of this is transaction and not intimacy or real romance).

Anyways, so back to the subreddit virginityexchange, I assume it wouldn't cost me as much as an escort in terms of investment other than a hotel, travel costs, and maybe a dinner/activity, then after that, sex.

 

[Jean Améry]

I have found a subreddit on reddit called VirginityExchange for people who are looking to lose their virginity. However, I'd like to get your thoughts on whether this might be a better alternative than going to Nevada or overseas to Germany or Netherlands to lose my virginity? Keep in mind that I'm more interested in knowing what sexual intercourse feels like than a silly label assigned by Western society about being a 'virgin'. While being a virgin and having that label bothers me, my curiosity of sexual intercourse bothers me more as I'm more of an intellectual guy so I can't get over what I don't know, especially for things that I never experienced and am curious about.

The things I could see being dangerous is meeting up with strangers at a private location such as a hotel, motel room, their place, etc. Also, the fact that if the person could be a sting officer trying to set me up, or someone who lied about their age (people who claim they are of legal age, when in fact they are underage) and given that it's the Internet, this is a very risky endeavor that I'm pursuing.

So any thoughts in regards to this? Should I give this a chance, and if so, what are your tips on how I would go about this?

In the Netherlands prostitution is legal so there would be zero chance of a 'sting'. As to this 'VirginityExchange': if the purpose is to get two people together in order to have sex so at least one of them could lose their virginity I fail to see how this could fall under an anti-prostitution law aslong as no money changed hands.

As to safety: meet up with the person in a public place first and get to know them a little. Only agree to meet in a hotel in a crowded part of town. I wouldn't recommend meeting someone at their home. If you're unsure about their age ask for ID.

Aslong as you make sure it's legal and you take a few sensible precautions you should be fine. Don't overthink this: it's just sex so go for it and get it over with. You'll feel much better and you'll probably realize women are people too and you dont have to put them on a pedestal. After that find a nice girl you like and who wants to have sex with you.

 

[Youthanasia]

Go for it. But don't create expectations at all. That is the golden rule of having a happy sex life as a single man.

For the most part, based on my personal experience, protected vanilla penetration doesnt really feel outtathisworld good. The condom does play a big role, no matter what the company puts in the label. Maybe people with ogre dongs have it better in this regard but i've also heard of negatives from these people.

I'd go against common knowledge and advice you to let your partner know you have absolutely no experience. This is doable either in a casual fuck or with a pro, but obviously easier with a pro.

Don't be anxious and don't be ashamed of yourself. It's important to focus on the good feelings during sex. Everyone fucks up now and then, you're fucking after all.

And don't restrain yourself from asking. Pretty sure everyone in here has their best intentions when replying.

Everyone should be able to enjoy sex before dying. There's people who pass away at age 80 that never really enjoyed sex. It's a dick-brain(and even prostate) experience, you need both for it to be good.

Good luck and count on me if you need anything

 

[TAW122]

In the Netherlands prostitution is legal so there would be zero chance of a 'sting'. As to this 'VirginityExchange': if the purpose is to get two people together in order to have sex so at least one of them could lose their virginity I fail to see how this could fall under an anti-prostitution law aslong as no money changed hands.

As to safety: meet up with the person in a public place first and get to know them a little. Only agree to meet in a hotel in a crowded part of town. I wouldn't recommend meeting someone at their home. If you're unsure about their age ask for ID.

Aslong as you make sure it's legal and you take a few sensible precautions you should be fine. Don't overthink this: it's just sex so go for it and get it over with. You'll feel much better and you'll probably realize women are people too and you dont have to put them on a pedestal. After that find a nice girl you like and who wants to have sex with you.

I think I'll research VirginityExchange first, then failing that, maybe an escort in my state of NC (seems trickier to navigate due to some of them not having price per hour for their service and others that require references from other escorts, meaning I'd have to already have another escort's recommendation before the said escort would even consider me as a client - catch 22.), and of course Nevada or Netherlands would be the most expensive option but only as a last resort.

 

[weargon]

Once you get pussy, you'll realize it's not worth flying to another continent for, or even crossing state lines. Even when I believed otherwise, and temporary hormones cloud judgement, after lots of motivation failures to follow through with plans, I realized that 30-45 min away is about the maximum my brain cares to put in, depending on the woman. After that it's just frustrating drives and lots of regret afterwards for time wasted lol.

 

[Youthanasia]

Once you get pussy, you'll realize it's not worth flying to another continent for, or even crossing state lines.

Agreed but i'd fly to the moon to bang Sophie Turner and Kat Dennings

 

[weargon]

Agreed but i'd fly to the moon to bang Sophie Turner and Kat Dennings

Haha, well there's always the rare exception. However as much as I dislike gambling, I'd be willing to take the odds and bet that you'd regret flying to the moon for it aftewards lol!! When that post-nut clarity hits... hahah

After doing a google image search.. she has an awkward face, but in a good way. Everyone has their own face that clicks, I can definitely see how some can have a crush on her.

 

[TAW122]

Once you get pussy, you'll realize it's not worth flying to another continent for, or even crossing state lines.

I believe that to be true as I'm just doing it for the physical experience of it and don't expect romance nor real intimacy. Anyways, I'm still at the point where I haven't had pussy yet so I can't arrive the realization. I'm still working on getting it, and I'd rather not go through the toils of dating and stuff, it isn't worth the mental drain, disappointment, and even more damage to my self-esteem and confidence. I do just want to get this over with and once again, I'm more content being single than being in a relationship.

 

[weargon]

I see your point. Hmm. Well in that case the only advice I can offer is maybe don't tell them it's your first time? I was very nervous my first time and I felt like it was going to jab at my self confidence too much if I disclosed it so I just took the risk and went at it. Got no complaints and she definitely didn't have any doubts. That will make you feel more proud of yourself if everything works out haha. And maybe put yourself in that mode too, by convincing yourself you've already done it plenty of times.

Thing is, it's a very primal act. The more you think the more chances something is going to derail. Sex doesn't have much thinking involved. So I would definitely throw the whole "first time" thing out the window when you're actually getting to experience it. Fuck her brains out like it's what you were born to do! (And kinda, sorta, we all are lol).

 

[TAW122]

@Jean Améry About asking for ID, wouldn't that scare off anyone (legit) all for the sake of preventing (the rare, but possible) event that the person I'm seeing might be underage or some undercover cop? Also, when seeing ID, is it possible that they could fake an ID and lie to me, thus getting me into trouble? Sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions, but this is something that I cannot afford to fuck up, because it would not only have potential legal consequences, but also social consequences as well.

@Youthanasia What should I do in terms of the process of getting the escort service? I know that I cannot mention anything related to sex for money (this includes certain words) as it is illegal and also too risky for both client and escort. I can buy condoms and other protection for the actual part, so that part I'm not too worried about. Also, given that I'm socially awkward and have never gone through the process myself. I have also heard that there are some that require references from other escorts before they even consider a potential client (catch 22 for me in that situation because I never got an escort so I have no references). Finally, about payment, I know that it cannot be tied to the actual act (sex) itself as that is illegal, so it has to be done discreetly or in such a way that it can't be misconstrued as sex.

 

[Jean Améry]

@Jean Améry About asking for ID, wouldn't that scare off anyone (legit) all for the sake of preventing (the rare, but possible) event that the person I'm seeing might be underage or some undercover cop? Also, when seeing ID, is it possible that they could fake an ID and lie to me, thus getting me into trouble? Sorry if I'm asking a lot of questions, but this is something that I cannot afford to fuck up, because it would not only have potential legal consequences, but also social consequences as well.

@Youthanasia What should I do in terms of the process of getting the escort service? I know that I cannot mention anything related to sex for money (this includes certain words) as it is illegal and also too risky for both client and escort. I can buy condoms and other protection for the actual part, so that part I'm not too worried about. Also, given that I'm socially awkward and have never gone through the process myself. I have also heard that there are some that require references from other escorts before they even consider a potential client (catch 22 for me in that situation because I never got an escort so I have no references). Finally, about payment, I know that it cannot be tied to the actual act (sex) itself as that is illegal, so it has to be done discreetly or in such a way that it can't be misconstrued as sex.

If you want to avoid any legal hassle you should go to a state where prostitution is legal. As for the ID problem: admittedly I have no personal experience with this but why would it scare them off unless they were indeed underage?

Don't treat this as legal advice but it would seem to me that if you asked for ID, she wasn't obviously underage and deceived you you'd have a good argument you really did not want anything to do with a minor.

If you're that worried I'd advise to go where it's legal, overseas if need be and you can afford it. Presumably this will be a one time thing so if you can afford it it'd be worth the expense. Look at it as going on a holiday. If you do end up in Amsterdam I'd recommend to visit the coffee shops. Don't overdo it on the weed though if you're not used to it as it's pretty strong stuff.

I know that part of the comment wasn't directed at me but I've never heard of prostitues requiring a reference. They must be pretty high-class if they can afford to turn down anyone they don't know or isn't known by a colleague.

 

[Youthanasia]

-Get drinks,
-chit chat about something that makes you look cool■
-flirt,
-touch her hands,
-touch non sexual parts of her body●,
-when in private environment, flirt more
-now, touching her legs and caressing back and arms work♡
-If she hasn't made it obvious that she doesnt want it, kissing is unlocked. Kissing might be also unlocked in the previous dtage, judgement helps
-Let things happen repeating preliminary body contact
-When things get intense, odds are you unlocked lewd preliminary such as groping and genitalia caressing
-After some fun, start undressing her. If she refuses, it happens, if she doesnt, you unlocked sex.

General knowledge for sex with hoes:
Avoid performing oral. Takes practice and you're paying. Plus god knows what's been in there. The pussy is always the moist hole. Don't do anal without proper, specific, preliminary (caress). She will let you know if she doesnt want it.

■ You want to be a bit funny and display value. She's lucky to have you, not the opposite. That said, never be a egocentric jackass. If conversation dies, proppose a game of I ask, you ask. Childish but never fails, infinite conversation possibilities.

●Arms, hands, shoulder, maybe back if the previous have been performed

♡Hair caressing, back caressing, arm caressing are particularly effective. They get turned on at a slower rate than us, play with this.

Never try something too hard. Think of it as climbing a mountain. You're welcome internet

 

[TAW122]

Thanks @Jean Améry and I'm thinking if escorts fail (IANAL, but it's a legal grey area, meaning as long as sex and money aren't directly connected and the sex between the client and provider is consensual and both are of legal age 18+, then the encounter is legal.), then I'll look into going to Nevada (where there are brothels and prostitution is legal) or Amsterdam, both of which are going to be expensive.

@Youthanasia Are these tips for dating or for the escorts or both? I'd rather not go through the whole ordeal of meeting women (harder as I'm no longer in college, nearing age 30, and don't frequent bars and strip clubs and what not), going through the shit-tests, pick up game and stuff, not lazy, but just too much work for the (possible) rewards. I think the less hoops and mental gymnastics that I have to jump through, the easier it will be for me (considering my social ineptness, Aspergers, and what not). This isn't to say that there isn't any interaction and small talk, but I just want to minimize it and go to the sex if all possible, hence I am willing to pay for it (via escort).

 

[Youthanasia]

It applies to escorts with the differenxe they are easier.

It's no mental gymnastics, it's being a man, but worded

As far as getting laid goes, you can't ignore the basic of the basics. Plus, it's a great opportunity to practice. You shouldn't waste it.

 

[Broken]

Just join some online dating apps like Tinder, POF, Bumble (most other ones are shit and have no activity) and practice talking to women. You will eventually come to realize that there's 20 males for every 1 female on these apps, most of them send them creepy dick pics and stalk them or something so they will naturally just hate all of us.

Don't ever pay for premium upgrades on those apps, it's like feeding vermin, you just don't want to reward those animals.

Eventually you'll click with someone here and there and your emotions will make you forget that you really should have 0 hope to avoid disappointment or looking too eager for that person.

You'll get dumped a few times here and there and feel like a drug addict going through detox while all your emotional brain chemicals settle.

Eventually you'll get laid.

Then you'll break up again and start the whole cycle all over.

Soon you will start to realize that women don't like you for being a nice or smart guy, and keep finding retarded assholes while telling you about how tragic their experiences with ignorant assholes have been. But if you ever try to be an asshole, somehow it doesn't work because I guess you just don't have the asshole genes or something.

After about 20-30 rounds of this you start to loose faith in the human race and consider catching the bus and join this forum while you furiously masturbate to every single porn out there.

Oh wait where am I going with all of this hmm lmao.

Haha this made me laugh. Especially the bit about 20 - 30 rounds! I can remember when I was a virgin and never had a girlfriend. When I was younger thought it would never happen.then it does and you have to experience the pain of people wanting to be that close to you but then one Day leave! Ouch

 

[Zaynaldeen]

If you're having trouble with losing your virginity than either you can use an escort or you can accept your fate like I did, by accepting the blackpill and the fact of female hypergamy. I've lost all hope, hope is stupid. Also notice how that subreddit only has male virgins and once there is a female, their thread will be filled with thirsty guys. You can thank the sexual revolution for this mess.

 

[TAW122]

If you're having trouble with losing your virginity than either you can use an escort or you can accept your fate like I did, by accepting the blackpill and the fact of female hypergamy. I've lost all hope, hope is stupid. Also notice how that subreddit only has male virgins and once there is a female, their thread will be filled with thirsty guys. You can thank the sexual revolution for this mess.

I've noticed that the subreddit might not be a good option, seeing and realizing what you just mentioned made my prospects even grimmer. Therefore, I believe just going to the escort would be my better option, which is to skip the bullshit that I have to deal with, which may also be cheaper than flying out to Nevada or to Europe (Netherlands or Germany). The problem that I face now is trying to go about it this the smart way, in order to avoid being ripped off, scammed, or caught in legal matters (keep in mind escorts are a 'grey' area, meaning that while it isn't explicitly illegal, it does hang on the fringe of legal/illegal depending on what transpires during the interaction and transaction).

 

[weargon]

Haha this made me laugh. Especially the bit about 20 - 30 rounds! I can remember when I was a virgin and never had a girlfriend. When I was younger thought it would never happen.then it does and you have to experience the pain of people wanting to be that close to you but then one Day leave! Ouch

Yep haha. It's just like many things in life that are given false value and importance by everyone, then once you achieve it, you realize it was mostly a lie.

Just like the pretty visual of clean white snow and great achievement we get when anyone brings up climbing mount Everest. Failing to mention that it's just a high altitute dump littered with trash and dead bodies.

 

[Only Me Here]

Do they have male escorts for women i wonder, or do women not really need it cause there is always a guy around willing to? When are you planning to do this?

 

[ArtVandelay]

Male escorts are definitely a thing. There are always guys willing to have sex with a woman, but gigolos tend to have more class and are well-behaved.

 

[seekingoblivion]

It's no mental gymnastics, it's being a man, but worded

Well for some of us it is mental gymnastics. When I see a statement like yours I just hate myself all the more for being so fucked up. I get incredibly agitated when I try to just socialize generally for an extended amount of time. I remember once after only a week of hanging out with some friends pretty much all day everyday I was so agitated I yelled at a dude who was pushing shopping carts back to the store for not pushing them fast enough. He was blocking me from reversing out the slot but it wasn't like he was being really slow about it. He was just doing his job. I get angry easily and people start getting scared. I end up starting to resent the person/people I'm socializing with. I know it's completely irrational (and I hate myself for it) I just hate having to pretend I'm normal. Now to take it further and try and go through everything involved in trying to "pick up" women? Well it gives me suicidal thoughts. And I think that says enough.
Anyway thanks on your input on this topic I'm sure OP (and others like OP) will get a lot of valuable info from you.

 

[Youthanasia]

Rule #1 to overcome social anxiety

Don't think. It's only gymnastics if you make it so. These advices are literally ehat you would conclude after watching some porn or tv, which you'd eventually do as you approach a date because you don't want to look gay or a rapist.

Besides, this is also what 'naturals' do by instinct, if social anxiety never made it difficult for you, you'd get here on your own.

I'm not giving anyone some NeXt LeVeL GeT LaId StRaTeGiEs, these things on my other post are literally something you can't avoid of you want to overcome your social anxiety. Sexual frustration can be difficult to overcome but it's not something new or complicated at all, it just takes some kind of guts you're not used to have.

This hit from the 90s explains really well what your brain does to you in this situation. The question shouldnt be whether it's mental gymnastics or not but rather whether you're going to challenge yourself or not