Sk1rtd4b
Member
- May 13, 2024
- 24
It all started during my last track season, I had gotten a calf strain and had shin splints paired up with that and it was really hindering my ability to run sprints and I had a pretty important meet coming up. I headed down to the athletics trainer office to get some rehab done on it and just try to do as much as I can to heal it before my meet. Eventually I meet the friend in question, we'll call her "L" and I honestly forgot how it sparked off but we just started talking about stuff, she seemed like she really liked cats and we both have black cats and she just seemed super excited to show me stuff. We talked for a good amount of time, eventually I had to leave but I really had thought we gotten along well and I really liked her personality and thought she would be a good person to try and keep in touch with because I don't really have anyone like that in my life. I hadn't felt like anybody has ever shown interest in conversating with me for years so I added her on socials and she quickly added me back on everything. Within' like an hour of connecting with her she texts me regarding something I had told her when we first talked to each other and asked me how it went and stuff and I was honestly shocked. Nobody EVER texts me out of the blue about anything and someone just did and they aren't asking for something, they are genuinely curious and interested in talking with me. I answered how it was good and all that and we just talked for a while. She would regularly just hit me up about stuff and it was amazing, I finally had someone to talk to and I genuinely felt cared about for the first time in years. Recently, she's been kind of dry compared to what it used to be. I don't get texted out of the blue really and it'll take her hours to respond to my texts. At this rate we'll just be complete strangers when summer rolls around. It hurts me so much that I had someone that would care about me and talk with me by choice and now they just don't want to anymore. I have walked passed L recently and she just gives me the cold shoulder. She was exactly what I needed going into summer because that's when I get the most isolated and my thoughts of CTB get the loudest and now it's probably gone. Honestly I think I got attached too soon but how could I not when I have had nobody in years. I have "friends" I talk to in my classes and at lunch and stuff but that's about it. I see them online hanging out all together and it's always everyone but me. I never get invited, I never get added to group chats or anything. At this rate I don't think I'll make it through summer. I have had thoughts of CTB for years probably dating back to elementary and it's been like a daily thought since then but only recently have those turned into plans. With summer around the corner, a ton of time alone and nothing I have to wake up for and attend for like 3 months, I can't see a future for myself where I don't CTB this summer. I have pretty easy access to everything I'd need to OD via opioids and I honestly think I will after this big concert I am looking forward to. L was the last thing I had to live for and now that she'll be gone pretty soon, so will I.
Quick little disclaimer I don't really have a romantic interest in L, all purely platonic.
Quick little disclaimer I don't really have a romantic interest in L, all purely platonic.
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