losing friends because of mental illness

[Jon Arbuckle]

A few days ago I lost a friend because my behavior stressed them out and they didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I feel bad because I definitely pushed her too far. I was definitely in the wrong here, but a part of me still feels misunderstood .

Has anyone else lost friends because they could not handle your suicidal thoughts/mental illness in general? how did you deal with it?

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Yes rule #1 in society is you´re not allowed to mention the word "suicide" in any context, most don´t even wanna hear you mentioning you´re depressed yet people act all surprised when someone close to them or someone they used to know ctb "why didn´t he/she just talk to someone" Uhm we fucking tried! But we get shut down or rejected if we do which is why this forum is so important it´s the ONLY place we can express these feelings to like minded people and regarding to your question I guess it´s evident with my post that also have experienced it. Happy people don´t wanna be around depressed people hence the term toxic positivity.

 

[Randy Savage]

I'm sorry you're going through this. You acknowledge that you pushed your friend too far, which is a healthy and mature way to think about this situation. Give yourself time to heal from this and don't be afraid to forget a person who has forgotten you.

Personally, I just stopped talking to people. Anyone I could conceivably meet doesn't care about me or my mental illness

 

[AndroidAmongHumans]

Yeah, I've had that happen, and I've also done that to other people. I've had to cut off friendships because every time I talked to them, I wound up going home and slicing up my legs and arms and then had to act like I was fine in front of them, and I got sick of always having to be the stronger one handling everything when I had my own pain. And I've been in relationships where, after 3-5 years of the other person trying their hardest to support me, I only ever got worse, and it became too much of a drain for them to keep being with me. Talking to someone with mental health issues is genuinely very energy intensive, and if your issues don't get better, sooner or later people will cut you off to save themselves. it's not morally wrong on their part, but it's an awful realization to know that you're too much of a drain on people, and that the people who told you over and over again to your face "I'm always going to be here for you and nothing could scare me off" will run off from you 3 or 4 years in because you've finally proved too much.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

Yes. Now I am too old for that. I am not a very emotional person and I have gradually cut off every emotional person out of my life. I just don't have time or energy to deal with their drama. Right now I only have one friend but he understands my desire to cbt perfectly and we have great conversations about the subject without him having a meltdown or calling 911 on me lol. We are both nihilists and discuss these things in a logical manner.

 

[divinemistress36]

Yes, thats why I'm only friends with other depressed people now

 

[SoulWhisperer]

New friend online gave me a few days before telling me they "wouldn't waste positivity/any more energy on me" due to my depression.

I didn't feel excessively bad, but it was quite surprising as no one was ever like that before to me and that direct. It just caught me off guard.

But on the other side, my mental instability has caused MUCH MUCH pain and cracked relationships, and those really do hurt unfortunately... I can't fix myself because it's all in my personality and trauma so I feel optionless.

 

[Sarros]

I lost my best friend about a year ago. We kind of drifted apart for the most part and we never had a big fight or sit down and talk about what was going on. I've since struggled with trying to pinpoint what the reason he stopped talking to me; personally, I feel like I've been the same since we've met.

Now I can go months without thinking about him and I've got plenty of other friends. So I think I'll stop torturing myself with what-ifs.

 

[tsykoais]

Has anyone else lost friends because they could not handle your suicidal thoughts/mental illness in general? how did you deal with it?

yeah i have lol. that was the time i learned that people genuinely do not care about being there for you and that most friendships are transactional, therefore if you're open about your struggles aka "killing the vibe" people won't want to be around you. but hey! "you are not alone." lmfao.

New friend online gave me a few days before telling me they "wouldn't waste positivity/any more energy on me" due to my depression.

same thing happened to me, i got told i have bad energy and that i was too personal lolz.

 

[Minsu]

Same here. I ditched some of my friends myself though. Now I have almost only online friends

 

[rotten]

I'm sorry this happened to you, losing friends can be so heartbreaking at times. I'm not sure I can be much help here…since nobody around me was understanding, I ended up just keeping to myself and working on art.

 

[Circles]

A few days ago I lost a friend because my behavior stressed them out and they didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I feel bad because I definitely pushed her too far. I was definitely in the wrong here, but a part of me still feels misunderstood .

Has anyone else lost friends because they could not handle your suicidal thoughts/mental illness in general? how did you deal with it?

Dont be too hard on yourself. It's easier said than done but you can't control what others do. All you can do is worry about yourself first and foremost. If your friend can't be there at your worst times even just to be there and not have to say anything then that's a friend not worth keeping imo. And if you want to try to keep in touch then I'd say just give them some space in the meantime. And you know a lot of people simply aren't capable to understand what it's like to be suicidal let alone have any answers that can help that aren't empty cliches. Just have compassion for yourself however you can, we all make mistakes.

 

[fallingtopieces]

Yeah, it happens. Not everyone can handle some things. It's not their fault and it's definitely not your fault for needing to let it out and share your pain with someone. I'm sorry it happened. I've lost two friends, one who I've known since the first grade. I understand that it became too much for them and they have their own struggles, but it still hurts. But I don't blame them. Please don't beat yourself up about it.