Venting long time no talk

[iftheworldwasending]

it's been quite some time, but i'm back. just needed to vent for a minute.

does anyone else feel like no one cares? i mean, i know people say they care and they would be sad if/when i ctb, but i don't think the pain of that outweighs the pain that i bring them being alive. i'm constantly looking for reassurance that people care about me, which i guess is even what this post is doing.
i guess that's part of the beauty of being alive, finding people who love you and care for you, but i sometimes just feel so fucking lonely. and not lonely in the sense of no one being around, but something deeper. i feel like i'm always looking for someone to love ME, the actual me that i am when no one else is around, and i hold on hope that i will find that one day, but sometimes i think that day will realistically never come and i'm not sure why i'm pushing off ctb when it would cause others to live a happier life.

this was one big run on sentence, i just wanted to know if anyone else felt this same way.
xx

 

[whywere]

HI! Well I for one care about you deeply. When I write posts on here it is 100% from the heart and not just standard talk. I have been alone for a long time and SS helps with all the great and loving people here, and that includes YOU! You are a beautiful soul on the inside AND outside and you always have your family here, including me.

Please take good care of yourself.

Walter

 

[iftheworldwasending]

HI! Well I for one care about you deeply. When I write posts on here it is 100% from the heart and not just standard talk. I have been alone for a long time and SS helps with all the great and loving people here, and that includes YOU! You are a beautiful soul on the inside AND outside and you always have your family here, including me.

Please take good care of yourself.

Walter

walter, it is so nice hearing from you. it's been quite some time. i'm not sure if this is a strange thing to say on a site like this, but i really hope you are doing as well as you can be. you have always been the kindest soul and when i say it's people exactly like you that make me grateful, i mean it. thank you for writing this, it made me cry just a bit harder, but in a good way. thank you for always making me feel cared for.

 

[whywere]

walter, it is so nice hearing from you. it's been quite some time. i'm not sure if this is a strange thing to say on a site like this, but i really hope you are doing as well as you can be. you have always been the kindest soul and when i say it's people exactly like you that make me grateful, i mean it. thank you for writing this, it made me cry just a bit harder, but in a good way. thank you for always making me feel cared for.

Thank you for the very nice comments. You are a kind and kindred spirit with so much warm thoughtful caring towards others that YOU should know that I care about you a lot. Everything in this life ALWAYS comes full circle and YOU are a loving and giving person and you deserve it back to you.

I totally agree with you as far as finding that connection that has deep lasting meaning and not just the causal smile and/or hello.

A lovely tropical beach with azure waters is what I am sending you.

Walter

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry you are suffering and are going through this. I guess for me personally, I keep my distance from other people as they can let us down and are disappointing. I wish you well.