-FrozenRobot-
Let me go...please
- Jul 27, 2021
- 218
I've never had close intimate relationships my entire life. No friends, no romantic partner, no accomplices or anyone.
But for the first time in life,.....for the freaking first time I connected with a girl online. Even though we were 3915 miles apart I felt good when I was with her. We used to chat occasionally and talk about random stuff. It's been one year now since I met her. I even sent her a letter which she said was nice and understood everything I wrote. I didn't know what it meant.
A few months ago I caught feelings for her but decided not to disclose em...because I was afraid she might leave me.
We're both going to university this year and I'm afraid that we'll grow apart. But sometimes I think " Am I wasting my time over her? She doesn't even care to text me once in a while".
Sometimes she says " I read your messages but I wasn't in the mood to reply and have a chat".
See...this is my life now. I don't even know what lable I must put on for my relationship with her. I feel frustrated, ass kicked, irritated and lonely than ever. If I could go back on time and changed my mind when I decided to text her, it would have reduced me a significant amount of pain.
I know that no one is going to read this whole thing but I just wanted to record my feelings somewhere safe. My parents stole my journal after my first attempt to CTB.
So yeah. I want to start life from scratch. New parents,new place and stuff. I'm sure life is worth living but... a different kind of life. Not this one. Not like this.
If you read till this by any chance, it means a lot to me. Thanks guys.
But for the first time in life,.....for the freaking first time I connected with a girl online. Even though we were 3915 miles apart I felt good when I was with her. We used to chat occasionally and talk about random stuff. It's been one year now since I met her. I even sent her a letter which she said was nice and understood everything I wrote. I didn't know what it meant.
A few months ago I caught feelings for her but decided not to disclose em...because I was afraid she might leave me.
We're both going to university this year and I'm afraid that we'll grow apart. But sometimes I think " Am I wasting my time over her? She doesn't even care to text me once in a while".
Sometimes she says " I read your messages but I wasn't in the mood to reply and have a chat".
See...this is my life now. I don't even know what lable I must put on for my relationship with her. I feel frustrated, ass kicked, irritated and lonely than ever. If I could go back on time and changed my mind when I decided to text her, it would have reduced me a significant amount of pain.
I know that no one is going to read this whole thing but I just wanted to record my feelings somewhere safe. My parents stole my journal after my first attempt to CTB.
So yeah. I want to start life from scratch. New parents,new place and stuff. I'm sure life is worth living but... a different kind of life. Not this one. Not like this.
If you read till this by any chance, it means a lot to me. Thanks guys.