I know how hard it is to want to be loved and understood, and the feeling of not being is difficult to deal with. But it has to be okay to be where you are right now, and to make it feel okay, you allow what is to be. And that means what's happening in this moment, and by allowing it and accepting it, you make room for something to change.
It's lonely watching things you're not interested in. Filling up time. Wanting things to change but nothing is. And it's easy for me to say that everything changes, but everything always does. You just have to hold on until it does. But in the meantime, don't focus on what you think is missing. It may seem like it's missing right now, and you think that were it not missing everything would be okay. But the fact is thinking it is missing makes it difficult to accept things as they are, and the ironic thing is, when you stop noticing what's missing, it either stops being an issue, or something arrives unexpected.