Venting Lonely and misunderstood

[AnnonyBox]

It feels like any time I try to talk to my friends, they don't understand me. They don't understand the pain that depression causes me. They don't understand that some things just can't be fixed. They don't understand my lack of hope. I can't relate to them, and it makes me so loney.

 

[WornOutLife]

My 33 years old experience has taught me that normal people, even if they're friends or family, will never really understand depression and suicide because they've never suffered from them.

That's why I love this community. People here WILL understand you and you will understand them.

 

[Symbiote]

When I was 25, my roommate and best friend told me something I'll never forget. "People don't care about your problems, they got their own shit to deal with. If you have problems, you deal with it yourself and only yourself. Trust me, it'll save you lots of heartache in the future"

Shit was true as fuck. Best not to talk about your feelings openly to friends and strangers cause they'll withdraw from you. Better to talk in a community with like-minded people like in SanctionedSuicide.

 

[Makko]

Some of the best advice I ever got was that at least 90% of all pain caused by other people can be eliminated by ceasing to want their understanding or help.

 

[WornOutLife]

Some of the best advice I ever got was that at least 90% of all pain caused by other people can be eliminated by ceasing to want their understanding or help.

Nice!

There's a popular latinamerican singer who always sings:

"The good person is not the one who helps you, but the one who doesn't bother you".

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

I've heard people describe close friendships when the two participants would be able to talk about literally everything with each other and have that trust going. Guess you'd have to be a person like that yourself and then be lucky enough to find a friend like that. A reciprocal relationship where you both hear each other and help each other. These are two of the reasons why our species became successful, trust and friendships.

 

[Symbiote]

I've heard people describe close friendships when the two participants would be able to talk about literally everything with each other and have that trust going. Guess you'd have to be a person like that yourself and then be lucky enough to find a friend like that. A reciprocal relationship where you both hear each other and help each other. This is one of the reasons why our species became successful, trust and friendships.

Must be nice to have a close friend, let alone an acquaintance that you could confide in. Where do these close friends congregate so I can go get one? I heard they're attracted to compliments, praise, and Starbucks coffee.

 

[WornOutLife]

Must be nice to have a close friend, let alone an acquaintance that you could confide in. Where do these close friends congregate so I can go get one? I heard they're attracted to compliments, praise, and Starbucks coffee.

Please, give me 3 of them! Wait, 1 will be more than enough lol

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Where do these close friends congregate so I can go get one?

I'm not leaving the basement to find out.

 

[Wheredidmysanitygo]

Nobody is obligated to understand you. Most of us suffer, but others just happen to cope differently. Everybody deals with bs all the time. Some become suicidal while others find solutions. It's true that some of us have been dealt shitty cards, but that doesn't mean others who are doing better should care about yours. Topics like depression and mental illness in general are not supposed to be discussed with regular individuals, because there's no argument to help with it. That's why by spreading negativity you just end up isolated. Everyone just avoids negativity at all costs coz that shit is desperate and potentially contagious. I've personally given up about sharing my situation because i know that nobody wants a vampristic crybaby in their lives. I've lost pretty much all my connections due to being an emo sadboi and i'm all alone now. If you don't want to loose people just suck it up and try to put on a happy face.

 

[Symbiote]

Shows such as Friends, Cheers, and How I Met Your Mother always show the good side of having friends, so people out there want what the TV shows have always portrayed. They never portray the sad lonely sap drinking alone in the corner as friend material, but a complete loser with relationship problems who would eventually turn out to be the bad guy. Hated all those shows.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Nobody is obligated to understand you. Most of us suffer, but others just happen to cope differently. Everybody deals with bs all the time. Some become suicidal while others find solutions. It's true that some of us have been dealt shitty cards, but that doesn't mean others who are doing better should care about yours. Topics like depression and mental illness in general are not supposed to be discussed with regular individuals, because there's no argument to help with it. That's why by spreading negativity you just end up isolated. Everyone just avoids negativity at all costs coz that shit is desperate and potentially contagious. I've personally given up about sharing my situation because i know that nobody wants a vampristic crybaby in their lives. I've lost pretty much all my connections due to being an emo sadboi and i'm all alone now. If you don't want to loose people just suck it up and try to put on a happy face.

 

[blue_muse]

Not intended as a platitude; someone can be in a crowded room and feel completely empty, least that's the case at parties personally. At least you've tried opening up to friends Annonybox. Call me old fashioned but friendship should be a 2 way street. Perhaps some temporary distancing could help, as it sounds like they want you to be someone you're not .

 

[BornofDust]

It feels like any time I try to talk to my friends, they don't understand me. They don't understand the pain that depression causes me. They don't understand that some things just can't be fixed. They don't understand my lack of hope. I can't relate to them, and it makes me so loney.

I think one of the best ways to go about this is to treat yourself as your own friend. Maybe do this mental exercise where your speaking to yourself from a Third Person POV, to clear out all the thought's you have and help yourself gain some perspective on things while keeping your feelings objective. Or even better imagine yourself having an interview with a famous TV host or even Podcast(Joe Rogan maybe) where your speaking about yourself and your life, and then describe it in the rawest details. Those things might be helpful.

People are unfortunately unreliable and frankly too self-absorbed to be much help at times. Not saying you shouldn't confide in your friends if you want to, but I don't think you should expect more then what they can give you, since they clearly have not experienced this type of things themselves, so appreciate and take on the good bits they give you, accept it for what it is, accept them for what they are, and what they're not and run with it. Acceptance of people and situations as it is will definitely save you a lot of hurt and pain.

 

[Makko]

I've heard people describe close friendships when the two participants would be able to talk about literally everything with each other and have that trust going. Guess you'd have to be a person like that yourself and then be lucky enough to find a friend like that. A reciprocal relationship where you both hear each other and help each other. These are two of the reasons why our species became successful, trust and friendships.

Even in the best friendship should you not talk about literally everything. With a close friend you should have a good knowledge of that person and make a judgement of what should and shouldn't be talked about.

I've seen countless friendships (and romantic relationships) ruined due to the careless spilling of guts. This doesn't mean "they were never a true friend anyway". Tact and boundaries between people matter, no matter your closeness. This does mean that friends and lovers sometimes can't give you what you need and you are forced to resort to chatting with strangers on the internet because you don't know where else to turn.

Besides that, everyone needs their secrets. Some things should not be shared with anyone at all.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Besides that, everyone needs their secrets. Some things should not be shared with anyone at all.

Wish I had some cool secrets :(

 

[wordsonscreen]

We are here for you <3 It definitely is a lonely feeling but you are not alone. You are welcome here.