Loneliness

[N33dT0D13]

Been trying to combat my loneliness to enjoy life more but it's hard, partly because of the way I am independently of others and partly because of the way I respond to others. What I mean is, 1. lonely from social anxiety and depression fueled self isolation, 2. reach out, 3. have fun getting to know people, 4. O B S E S S , 5. either (irrationally) feel rejected or ignored and distance myself or 5b. run them away with my (irrational) obsession and insecurity, the cycle begins anew. I hate being a needy obsessive weirdo, limerence is a bitch.

It's happening again, and it's more pathetic on my part this time because I've only beem talking to this person this closely for what, four days and I'm already feeling down that they aren't getting back to me like I want which isn't fair to them, they have a life and I respect that and I'm not gonna stress them out needlessly but fuck, it hurts, I hate feeling things for people. I hope I get flattened by a fucking truck.

 

[WeDontKnowTheFuture]

I can recognize myself a few years ago in your post, it can improve over time with effort and introspection. Your inner peace can never depend of others. This is the part you cannot control. However, you can control your reaction to other reaction and develop a capacity to be resilient in loneliness. If you accept to be alone and find assurance inside yourself, other will be naturally attracted to you. Things come generally when we are not trying to desperately attract them.
Also the irationnal feeling that you have to be ignored or rejected is clearly trauma-related, you have certainly been rejected in the past. I had the same feeling for years and also run them away with my insecurity and request for attention. Nothing must be take personally. You are just the mirror of others, and others are also your mirror, all the reject, neglect, animosity, all this is not justified by you, but by the personal issues of peoples who hurt you.

 

[orca87]

If you accept to be alone and find assurance inside yourself, other will be naturally attracted to you.

While I believe that there is an inherent difference between solitude and loneliness, you make a point here.

If you feel that people are attracted to you, you can enjoy solitude. As long as you have this feeling of "being magnetic", you won't experience loneliness because you have the choice to connect. With loneliness, you don't have a choice.

 

[N33dT0D13]

I can recognize myself a few years ago in your post, it can improve over time with effort and introspection. Your inner peace can never depend of others. This is the part you cannot control. However, you can control your reaction to other reaction and develop a capacity to be resilient in loneliness. If you accept to be alone and find assurance inside yourself, other will be naturally attracted to you. Things come generally when we are not trying to desperately attract them.
Also the irationnal feeling that you have to be ignored or rejected is clearly trauma-related, you have certainly been rejected in the past. I had the same feeling for years and also run them away with my insecurity and request for attention. Nothing must be take personally. You are just the mirror of others, and others are also your mirror, all the reject, neglect, animosity, all this is not justified by you, but by the personal issues of peoples who hurt you.

I agree wholeheartedly. I have found I connect best with others when I'm feeling secure in myself. I'm not sure why I feel so insecure lately except for my moods just being cyclical like that, I guess. I arguably don't have a reason to feel like that lately because I've been doing better socially now than I usually am but that also scares me, the idea that any amount of attention, kindness, friendship, love, etc. just won't be enough for me and I'll take people for granted.
I'm at least getting better at not getting upset with people for "ignoring" me so I'm happy for that, though it still happens so that blows. These days it's just me being bummed out by the situation.