Judah
Enlightened
- Oct 1, 2020
- 1,541
Again I'm here thinking and reflecting on my mistakes, maybe I'm an idiot without control, I don't know.
Right now my mother is at the movies with my sister, I decided to stay at home, experiences like the movies stopped being enjoyable for me, but at the same time I feel like I'm wasting time being able to do better things.
My family encourages me to go out there to make friends since they have noticed the loneliness in which I live now, at this moment I am a hikikomori, I would like to make friends irl but it is really quite difficult, no one would spontaneously approach an autistic person like me, and even so, it is difficult for me to maintain the thread in social relationships in real life
Due to my deep loneliness, I have thrown myself into alcoholism, and seeing prostitutes regularly, although one of them has told me a story, after inviting her to eat since after all I have no one to talk to
She is submerged in the same problem of loneliness, and to cope, she turns to prostitution, she has no family or friends and no one has given her a job, for some reason I was interested in the experiences of prostitutes who turn to this job out of loneliness I remember seeing a thread here from a user recounting her experience.
So loneliness hugs me and it seems that she won't let go, I'll be with her forever, on the one hand maybe it's good, it's possible that I have borderline due to my recent rather unstable behavior patterns, more and more I'm disassociating, my My last friendships were very unstable, a friend I had in college now hates me and the worst thing is that I don't remember the reason, he just sent me a hint on Telegram after trying to resume communication.
I have also returned to self-harm, and I really feel that I have no one, for now I have a friend with whom I get along quite well since we were born in the same country, we went through the same things but with some difference, help that person It's something nice for me, although I feel that this person is falling in love with me due to certain hints that he has given me, I have no problem with this, I am bisexual, but I really always saw this person as a friend and sometimes a brother, and it is possible that at some point I have to make things clear but I do not want to ruin things either, even so I do not rule out the fact that I may spontaneously walk away from that person just because I have long periods where I really do not want to talk to them nobody.
Right now my mother is at the movies with my sister, I decided to stay at home, experiences like the movies stopped being enjoyable for me, but at the same time I feel like I'm wasting time being able to do better things.
My family encourages me to go out there to make friends since they have noticed the loneliness in which I live now, at this moment I am a hikikomori, I would like to make friends irl but it is really quite difficult, no one would spontaneously approach an autistic person like me, and even so, it is difficult for me to maintain the thread in social relationships in real life
Due to my deep loneliness, I have thrown myself into alcoholism, and seeing prostitutes regularly, although one of them has told me a story, after inviting her to eat since after all I have no one to talk to
She is submerged in the same problem of loneliness, and to cope, she turns to prostitution, she has no family or friends and no one has given her a job, for some reason I was interested in the experiences of prostitutes who turn to this job out of loneliness I remember seeing a thread here from a user recounting her experience.
So loneliness hugs me and it seems that she won't let go, I'll be with her forever, on the one hand maybe it's good, it's possible that I have borderline due to my recent rather unstable behavior patterns, more and more I'm disassociating, my My last friendships were very unstable, a friend I had in college now hates me and the worst thing is that I don't remember the reason, he just sent me a hint on Telegram after trying to resume communication.
I have also returned to self-harm, and I really feel that I have no one, for now I have a friend with whom I get along quite well since we were born in the same country, we went through the same things but with some difference, help that person It's something nice for me, although I feel that this person is falling in love with me due to certain hints that he has given me, I have no problem with this, I am bisexual, but I really always saw this person as a friend and sometimes a brother, and it is possible that at some point I have to make things clear but I do not want to ruin things either, even so I do not rule out the fact that I may spontaneously walk away from that person just because I have long periods where I really do not want to talk to them nobody.
