Venting Loneliest Year of My Life

[Alcoholic Failure]

I have struggled with alcoholism and bipolar disorder for the last 6 years. I thought I was improving, but as I watched each piece of my life fade away, my life progressively spiraled into complete chaos. This last year has brought me to my knees. I lost everything: my wife and kids, my house, car, several jobs, and all of my friends. My entire family has given up on me.
Since January 2021 I have attempted suicide several times, been involuntarily committed to 7 psychiatric hospitals, 2 substance abuse programs, and I have spent over 100 days in jail. After this I had finally had enough, so I illegally purchased a handgun, which I was caught with and I am now facing a felony charge for.

Because of this, I have accumulated an unknown amount of debt (at least $30,000).
I have spent the last year in shock and denial. I refused to accept that my life had unraveled so quickly.

Every minute of every day is now a lonely and miserable and meaningless existence in my own personal hell that I created for myself with alcohol.

There is no going back, no way to make up for what I've done, and nothing to look forward to.

I'm new to the site so thanks for letting me put all of this somewhere. It's good to know that at least here I'm not alone.

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds really awful what you have been through, it's horrible how in this world what we go through can very easily just get much worse, causing us to suffer even more.

 

[CTB Fella]

That sounds really awful what you have been through, it's horrible how in this world what we go through can very easily just get much worse, causing us to suffer even more.

Just wanted to say that you are the kindest, most considerate person in these forums.

You are valued by me, and I'm guessing many other people.

Thank you.

 

[outrider567]

Loneliest year--me too