Help logical conclusion

[iknowwhatyouredoing]

i find that i have to be at my lowest point to start to feel a little better. i downward spiral and when i reach the bottom i start to revel in the apathy. if nothing matters then why should i worry about anything? it almost feels like the logical conclusion, even after months of considering ctb. typically it ends my depressive episode for a bit before i repeat the cycle. but recently the amount of time between my episodes have been shrinking rapidly:(

 

[Mr2005]

I clicked because of the member called that but now that I'm here I think believing it's all pointless and there's no good in anything is a coping mechanism but it's also a toxic one