Nyxð“‚€
Xerox Of A Xerox
- Jan 19, 2024
- 43
this is my logic of partially y I need to ctb. as far as I can see it all makes sense.
I, for as long as I can remember have been a burden on everyone in my life. no matter what I make people's lives worse and always will. I cause pain on anything and everything I even look at let alone interact with (i have so many examples of this ima not even start). in my belief, or at leaste my belief on myself, when you hurt other people you should be punished equally if not worse.
this has lead to my self harm which is yeah, an amount of self destruction which is crazy and a fuck ton of other shit. but all of that was always just a temporary punishment on myself and ctb was always the end goal as I don't see how i deserve to live.
from all this I've pretty easily concluded that everyone would benefit if I wasn't around anymore. like who looses?? i stop constantly hurting and being a burden to everyone, and I get to die. everybody wins. and although to me ctb is a reward to be able to get out of all the shit in my life, I don't deserve to get better (nor am i able to) and should just be dead.
I, for as long as I can remember have been a burden on everyone in my life. no matter what I make people's lives worse and always will. I cause pain on anything and everything I even look at let alone interact with (i have so many examples of this ima not even start). in my belief, or at leaste my belief on myself, when you hurt other people you should be punished equally if not worse.
this has lead to my self harm which is yeah, an amount of self destruction which is crazy and a fuck ton of other shit. but all of that was always just a temporary punishment on myself and ctb was always the end goal as I don't see how i deserve to live.
from all this I've pretty easily concluded that everyone would benefit if I wasn't around anymore. like who looses?? i stop constantly hurting and being a burden to everyone, and I get to die. everybody wins. and although to me ctb is a reward to be able to get out of all the shit in my life, I don't deserve to get better (nor am i able to) and should just be dead.
