Venting living in a small town is hell

[snailboy]

mostly a stream-of-conciousness rant, if anyone reads i appreciate it.

i've lived in the same small town since i started first grade and i've hated it for the majority of my life. i love my parents but i always partially resent them for moving here for the "good" schools.

when they say everyone knows everyone in a small town they mean it. and you literally can't escape it. it was fine when i had a close-knit friend group but now that all of them have left me i'm stuck seeing people that hurt me irreversibly every single day. i don't know how i'm supposed to heal and not be an angry, bitter person when i can't even properly distance myself. i see these people in all my classes and even when i thought i'd be done i found out id been paired with one of them as my walking partner at graduation. im actually sort of excited for my future for once but this makes me want to die. most of them are going to the same community college as me too.

i've never been a very angry person but this shit makes me so mad. i've fantasized about punching these people, starting fights, etc which probably makes me a bad person but at this point idc.

i don't know how to even exist when the people i knew my whole life and formed my entire identity around now hate me. im so fucking alone. and then i see tiktoks that say shit like "when all their friends left them and they say their the victim, run!!" like shit guess im the manipulator then. idk what i even did. i feel like just me as a person repels people.

 

[Aisley]

Small towns can be the worst. I call it fish bowl life, cuz there's always someone watching. As soon as I got into a real city, everything turned around for me. And you said your parents moved there when you were young, which means you're not related to half the people, so that's another mark against you. Inbred little shit holes, all of them.

 

[deomlez]

There is a hope for you, you will leave it in a while. And you h1ve the entire world at your feet with internet. Keep faith.

 

[snailboy]

Small towns can be the worst. I call it fish bowl life, cuz there's always someone watching. As soon as I got into a real city, everything turned around for me. And you said your parents moved there when you were young, which means you're not related to half the people, so that's another mark against you. Inbred little shit holes, all of them.

oh my god, the not being related part is so real it always felt so weird being surrounded by those few huge families that practically ran everything

 

[Aisley]

oh my god, the not being related part is so real it always felt so weird being surrounded by those few huge families that practically ran everything

you'll be out soon, and most things will get better. Not everything, but the shit you can control, at least.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

mostly a stream-of-conciousness rant, if anyone reads i appreciate it.

i've lived in the same small town since i started first grade and i've hated it for the majority of my life. i love my parents but i always partially resent them for moving here for the "good" schools.

when they say everyone knows everyone in a small town they mean it. and you literally can't escape it. it was fine when i had a close-knit friend group but now that all of them have left me i'm stuck seeing people that hurt me irreversibly every single day. i don't know how i'm supposed to heal and not be an angry, bitter person when i can't even properly distance myself. i see these people in all my classes and even when i thought i'd be done i found out id been paired with one of them as my walking partner at graduation. im actually sort of excited for my future for once but this makes me want to die. most of them are going to the same community college as me too.

i've never been a very angry person but this shit makes me so mad. i've fantasized about punching these people, starting fights, etc which probably makes me a bad person but at this point idc.

i don't know how to even exist when the people i knew my whole life and formed my entire identity around now hate me. im so fucking alone. and then i see tiktoks that say shit like "when all their friends left them and they say their the victim, run!!" like shit guess im the manipulator then. idk what i even did. i feel like just me as a person repels people.

It seems that the obsession with the word "friends" is real. Let me tell you a story about myself here , I blocked all of these so called "friends" and it's me that told them that I didn't want to deal with them anymore. These so called friends would sing me praises, promise me heaven on earth and talk about how they wish I was their really family, how I was their sister, how I was this amazing human being yes yes and yes and guess what I'm not into two faced people that's why I blocked them and told some of them to leave me alone. I guess some people who will be desperate for "friends" will continue and continue and no wonder why their friends used to talk bad things about them to me. Yes "friends" indeed. You would think even when dying they would be like my "friends"…… Just because the person (s) was a better liar and better at manipulating people doesn't mean they are the ones innocent, this person started this mess at a local council where I was working…. This "friend" would get so angry saying oh why are you speaking to Law after all those disgusting things he said about you to me and yet they are best "mates" yeah good luck to all these friendships you speak of, I guess that's why they follow me and everywhere I go because their life is so fabulous with their friends, yet they keep on "following" me the "friendless" person. I ended those "friendships" on my terms and it must hurt them haa …. Oh "bande ne bhurugwa" is that the reason why they invited me to see them and their "mupengo" and I didn't go ( them saying I will always be your best friend) no no and no, let's meet for tea ( no no and no again) Mr desperate for "friends" .. I hope we can get our "friendship back" he said this to me and not me saying this to him. Freaking pathological Liar and have the nerve to call me a liar ( Lying about me accusing him of rape, what a diguisting human being, all in all the reason to try and turn people against me, so despicable and when asked all he did was deny and deny and deny)…. If he was so sure that I accused him of rape why not own it up to me like a freaking decent human being ( oh he can't Maybe because deep down he knows I never Said accused him of that).

I get it they have great friends so why bother me "friendless" person, I guess they are still not satisfied with their own "close knit friendships" they have ….. No wonder my mum called them a devil to me years ago and told me to stay away from him and I unfortunately I didn't listen. I bet they didn't know this when they asked for my mum's number of Facebook, she didn't even want him in her house (because she hated him and how he always speak of people).
Siphi in Liverpool FC said all he did was beg her for money and not return it ( oh yeah he didn't know this did he) Mr she accused me of rape (he wish, pathological liar)

 

[InSearchOfLess]

I quite prefer small towns, I live In a one stop light town I know what you mean, by the end of Highschool everyone's been friends been fought and been fucked by each other but Im getting close to 30 now and can say now that everyone has grown up and have gone their own ways ain't nobody even concerned or even remember what we did as kids really.

 

[feder]

I really understand how you feel, I'm in almost the same situation my family moved from my home town where I had friends and places to hang out, to a small urban town for "better education". In the couple years I've been here I haven't made a single friend and I feel like I can't even go out without feeling hatred towards where I live. I've never been more suicidal. This year I'll move back tho since im independent and all lmao. Hope you can do that too in the near future and wish you the best.

 

[The anhedonic one]

Most people in this shitshow world are stupid, selfish fucktards who follow the hive mind normie mentality.
They love to hurt others who are different from them. They are all sheep who think in the same deranged way.
Fuck those people.
I also find it sickening that when these types leave school, they will probably be very successful in life.
The bankers, politicians, lawyers, etc of this world score high on the psychopath scale.
So sorry you are going through this.
These piles of walking, talking human excrement are everywhere unfortunately.

 

[FuneralCry]

Humans certainly are so unnecessarily cruel in this world, it's such an horrible human species in general and it must be awful having to see those people who you hate and who caused you to suffer.