Venting Living for other people

[DevonBostick'sAss]

I feel like Im living for other people. I cannot be alone. I cant bear to be alone, I always want someone near me I WANT to live for them. I love when I make people happy and thats what holds me here. Whenever I am alone I always want to end it cuz for me I am not worth it. When Im with other people Im too distracted to focus on my thoughts. When I'm with other people, I can feel like I have a purpose, like maybe I'm needed, and that keeps me going. I am alone rn and I dont like it. I dont want to be alone Im scared. Rn there's someone Im more focused then other people and they (wont refer any gender related stuff) also are having a hard time in life and I dont want this persons death before me. Its selfish tho so yeah whatever I guess. I just want someone here rn. I want to cut myself but I promised someone I wouldnt. Im biting my fake nails tho and they actually really help. I want to sleep but Im too scared to go to sleep. My house is really scary. If someone would be here it wouldnt be like this but in the other hand will it ever be this way? Eventually I need to be ok to be alone.

 

[CogitoMori]

It should be okay to live for other people. People will say you should live for what makes you happy, but if love or connection with people is what makes you happy, suddenly that's a problem because, "You're not living for yourself." Why would I want to live for myself if service to others is what makes me truly happy?

 

[danny10]

I live for other people too. I live for my daughter, for my wife, for my mother and father. But I don't want to live anymore. I also know that my death would mean a lot of pain for the people I love. I don't want to cause them any pain. Hence I am living on but I don't want to continue. Should I feel ashamed that I am planning to CTB when I have a little daughter? I feel horrible to be honest.

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

I live for other people too. I live for my daughter, for my wife, for my mother and father. But I don't want to live anymore. I also know that my death would mean a lot of pain for the people I love. I don't want to cause them any pain. Hence I am living on but I don't want to continue. Should I feel ashamed that I am planning to CTB when I have a little daughter? I feel horrible to be honest.

It's clear you deeply care about your daughter and your family, which shows how much love and responsibility you have in your heart, even in the midst of such intense pain .Please know that feeling this way doesn't make you a bad person it means you're human and struggling.It's okay to feel conflicted and to sit with those feelings. You don't have to solve everything right now. Just know that your feelings are valid, and you're not alone in this, even if it feels that way. I'm here for you to listen, without judgment, whenever you need!! Your pain matters, and so do you. You're doing the best you can, and that's more than enough right now the fact that you're still here shows a strength you might not even realize you have.

 

[danny10]

It's clear you deeply care about your daughter and your family, which shows how much love and responsibility you have in your heart, even in the midst of such intense pain .Please know that feeling this way doesn't make you a bad person it means you're human and struggling.It's okay to feel conflicted and to sit with those feelings. You don't have to solve everything right now. Just know that your feelings are valid, and you're not alone in this, even if it feels that way. I'm here for you to listen, without judgment, whenever you need!! Your pain matters, and so do you. You're doing the best you can, and that's more than enough right now the fact that you're still here shows a strength you might not even realize you have.

Thank you so much for your kind words, it truely means a lot for me. I cannot share my suicidal ideation with anyone so it's so great to find people like you on this site who understands. Do you also feel suicidal?

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

Thank you so much for your kind words, it truely means a lot for me. I cannot share my suicidal ideation with anyone so it's so great to find people like you on this site who understands. Do you also feel suicidal?

You can share anything with me Im a good listener. I am a new member thats why my prive messages are closed I suppose. I am more than willing to have a chat with you once it opens. I dont know when it opens though.

 

[danny10]

You can share anything with me Im a good listener. I am a new member thats why my prive messages are closed I suppose. I am more than willing to have a chat with you once it opens. I dont know when it opens though.

Just sent you a message on private.

 

[Ashes of a Dreamer]

That's a great question: should we live for others to prevent them from suffering when we reached the point of not bearing it anymore?

There isn't an unique answer, and there are some, like you, that think we should - and I understand it, I used to think the same, and wouldn't be here writing this message if I haven't considered the possible impact of my death on others.

However, after so long - reached the 30s - I decided that it's a miserable existence just continuing here for the loved ones. They tried, I tried, but the suffering continues and gets bigger with time, so I'm done, and they'll have to find ways to deal with my death. Is it egoistic? Of course, but I think that I would understand if someone I like commited suicide - the despair was too big, I would think.

Anyway, let me hear your responses to this question, I think it leads to an interesting dialogue.

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

Just sent you a message on private.

Hello Danny, I tried to answer to you but it doesnt let me do it. It says change sentence and stuff but even though I change it I cannot send message to you :(( IDK what to do

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

@Lupisour I cant reply to your PM either Im sorry to tag you to this thread but I dont want you to think that Im not replying to you. I want to talk to you and reply but I cant the system wont let me.

 

[DevonBostick'sAss]

That's a great question: should we live for others to prevent them from suffering when we reached the point of not bearing it anymore?

There isn't an unique answer, and there are some, like you, that think we should - and I understand it, I used to think the same, and wouldn't be here writing this message if I haven't considered the possible impact of my death on others.

However, after so long - reached the 30s - I decided that it's a miserable existence just continuing here for the loved ones. They tried, I tried, but the suffering continues and gets bigger with time, so I'm done, and they'll have to find ways to deal with my death. Is it egoistic? Of course, but I think that I would understand if someone I like commited suicide - the despair was too big, I would think.

Anyway, let me hear your responses to this question, I think it leads to an interesting dialogue.

If you're willing, I'd like to challenge the perspective that "it's done" and "they'll have to deal with it." Could there still be avenues unexplored? Could there be a way to shift from merely surviving for others to finding even a small reason to keep going for yourself? Life, though fraught with suffering, also holds unexpected opportunities for healing and joy sometimes in the most surprising places or moments.

You asked if choosing to end your life despite others' pain is selfish ,understanding someone's pain doesn't diminish the devastation their loss can bring to those who care about them. Grief isn't just about losing someone; it's about losing the possibility of helping them, of sharing their burdens, and of creating new memories together.

I think this is where we split up: Living for others can be both a source of purpose and a source of anguish. It depends on whether that act of living for others feels meaningful or just another obligation piled atop the pain. For some, the love and support of others become lifelines that anchor them to life. For others, when the internal suffering outweighs any external connection, the act of continuing for others can feel hollow or unsustainable.
I see your point, and it's an honest, vulnerable one. But for me, the idea of living for others isn't a burden it's a source of fulfillment and purpose. Making others happy, easing their suffering, and being there for them brings me a kind of joy that feels larger than myself. It's not just about obligation.When I think about the pain my absence would cause to those I love, it's not guilt that keeps me here, it's the realization that, through my presence, I can be part of their strength and happiness.

 

[danny10]

Hello Danny, I tried to answer to you but it doesnt let me do it. It says change sentence and stuff but even though I change it I cannot send message to you :(( IDK what to do

No worries, it's probably because you're a new member. In a few days your chat should be activated.

 

[kissmegoodbye]

I feel like Im living for other people. I cannot be alone. I cant bear to be alone, I always want someone near me I WANT to live for them. I love when I make people happy and thats what holds me here. Whenever I am alone I always want to end it cuz for me I am not worth it. When Im with other people Im too distracted to focus on my thoughts. When I'm with other people, I can feel like I have a purpose, like maybe I'm needed, and that keeps me going. I am alone rn and I dont like it. I dont want to be alone Im scared. Rn there's someone Im more focused then other people and they (wont refer any gender related stuff) also are having a hard time in life and I dont want this persons death before me. Its selfish tho so yeah whatever I guess. I just want someone here rn. I want to cut myself but I promised someone I wouldnt. Im biting my fake nails tho and they actually really help. I want to sleep but Im too scared to go to sleep. My house is really scary. If someone would be here it wouldnt be like this but in the other hand will it ever be this way? Eventually I need to be ok to be alone.

this is really relatable,, i really am just staying alive for my boyfriend but it's hard when he's away/busy and he isn't there to help distract me from my family and life. i am in so much pain everyday but it feels like it's worth it so i may live for him and keep making him happy everyday, that's really the only purpose i have in life. living for others is tough but im happy it gives me a reason to be alive.