Help limited options to ctb

[redxiii]

i really need to do this, but keep procrastinating, i think mainly because i don't have a good method planned out yet.

i recently moved to a new country to stay with family (part of me still thought i could recover and rebuild my life, now i know it's not possible and my suicide is best for everyone)

while i'm grateful for my family's support, now i feel really trapped with hardly any viable options to ctb. partial suspension would probably be my go to (tried a couple of times before i came here, couldn't overcome SI), i don't want family to find my corpse like that in their home.

i can't get any deliveries for N or SN without drawing to much attention and suspicion.

likewise i can't leave for a hotel or anything.

i feel i'm left with drowning (i'm close to the ocean) or jumping; drowning isn't ideal and seems terrifying to me. jumping is also a problem as i haven't found access to any good spots. there's a 10 story car park close by, but no roof access, i'd have to squeeze myself through the 1ft horizontal gaps in the stairway window.. there's a bridge i can get to 50m high, but think i would land on trees that may break my fall..

i'm despairing more and more, and worry i might snap soon and hang myself at home regardless of the impact that may have.

please any advice more than welcome

 

[John lee]

gun i mouth

 

[Honigwaffel]

Does your family know that you are suicidal? How come that you can't leave for a hotel but could leave for jumping?

I'm sorry that you are in such a situation. Sometimes you just have to be selfish in order to find your peace. It's your life afterall.

 

[Halo13]

A jump from that height could work.

 

[discokicks]

Personally I find drowning more peaceful than jumping. I could never jump.

 

[redxiii]

gun i mouth

unfortunately impossible to buy guns where i am.

Does your family know that you are suicidal? How come that you can't leave for a hotel but could leave for jumping?

I'm sorry that you are in such a situation. Sometimes you just have to be selfish in order to find your peace. It's your life afterall.

they know i have been in the past and that i still struggle with depression, they don't know i'm actively suicidal or about previous attempts. i could probably go out for a few hours before they'd begin to worry, been a recluse lately so randomly heading out at night would be out of character/suspicious.

thanks, it may come to that, was hoping to minimise any trauma but i guess pretty horrible for whomever finds a body.

A jump from that height could work.

10 stories is ~100ft, onto concrete death is pretty certain 90%+, more worries about maybe landing on someone below, wouldn't be able to time jump that well, might take bit of time to shimmy through the gap (also scary af).

50m/150ft would work on solid landing, but really scared about the trees slowing me down and just ending up with severe injuries.

Personally I find drowning more peaceful than jumping. I could never jump.

might be a safer way for me to go (less chance of collateral damage)