I wanted to respond to another user's thread to show support for them in their situation. However, I was hesitant to hijack the conversation for my own benefit. So, I am writing my experiences below in case that it helps other users to feel less alone in their own struggles.
Somebody with whom I had been spending time told me once that I could reach out to her if I was ever struggling. Perhaps like many users on this forum, I had always longed for such a show of acceptance, affection and support which had been otherwise entirely absent from my life - without regard to any intent or lack thereof to "redeem" such offer.
A few months later, this individual expressed that our time together was no longer serving its purpose. She offered in this communication to meet over coffee or tea to discuss. I took her up on this offer - however after a couple of days, she had not responded.
Remembering her earlier comments, I emailed again, expressing that I was struggling to interpret the situation and feared a potential lack of closure to our time together. Upon receiving this email, her tone changed by 180 degrees. Her previous warmth and kindness was replaced with - by my perception - something far more sterile and cold.
I likely will never know if she genuinely had feelings for me and found it difficult to sever our connection on what she stated to be "ethical" grounds - or if I was simply a background character in a bigger story. In any case, I think the takeaway is that most people - regardless of their promises - cannot handle the heaviness that users on this forum must carry on a daily basis. As much as we may romanticize and fantasize that there is another person in the world who deeply understands us and even cares about us, it is much more realistic - albeit isolating and existentially devastating - for many of us on this forum to (try to) accept that we are each an island, and that we have absolutely nobody but our own self to turn to for support when presented with life's challenges and struggles.
Nevertheless I hope that this helps somebody.
Somebody with whom I had been spending time told me once that I could reach out to her if I was ever struggling. Perhaps like many users on this forum, I had always longed for such a show of acceptance, affection and support which had been otherwise entirely absent from my life - without regard to any intent or lack thereof to "redeem" such offer.
A few months later, this individual expressed that our time together was no longer serving its purpose. She offered in this communication to meet over coffee or tea to discuss. I took her up on this offer - however after a couple of days, she had not responded.
Remembering her earlier comments, I emailed again, expressing that I was struggling to interpret the situation and feared a potential lack of closure to our time together. Upon receiving this email, her tone changed by 180 degrees. Her previous warmth and kindness was replaced with - by my perception - something far more sterile and cold.
I likely will never know if she genuinely had feelings for me and found it difficult to sever our connection on what she stated to be "ethical" grounds - or if I was simply a background character in a bigger story. In any case, I think the takeaway is that most people - regardless of their promises - cannot handle the heaviness that users on this forum must carry on a daily basis. As much as we may romanticize and fantasize that there is another person in the world who deeply understands us and even cares about us, it is much more realistic - albeit isolating and existentially devastating - for many of us on this forum to (try to) accept that we are each an island, and that we have absolutely nobody but our own self to turn to for support when presented with life's challenges and struggles.
Nevertheless I hope that this helps somebody.
