eternalpeace
Student
- Dec 19, 2021
- 139
I have become very reclusive in the last few years. I don't want to interact with anyone, but I'm back living at home with my parents. so I can't avoid it. Any time my mom or dad start talking, their voices just sound like fingernails on a chalkboard. It doesn't matter what they are saying…it's not the actual substance of the conversation, it's just the sound of their voices. They start to talk to me and I just want to yell "shut up! Stop frickin' talking to me!" (Of course I don't. I just try to listen and then escape to my room as soon as I can). I love them both very much, but whenever they talk to me, my skin just starts to crawl. Today a nurse called about an appointment. She was just asking some basic questions (about possible covid exposure and when the last appointment was), and the sound of her voice just made me want to howl. The conversation was banal and she didn't say anything remotely offensive, but just listening to her talk made me want to throw something.
I don't know if it is a symptom of my mental illness (the desire for isolation caused by depression, or just the fact that I can't really focus enough to have a substantive conversation), or one more sign that I'm done with life and everything it entails, or if I'm just being an a**hole, but I've never quite felt like this before. I don't seem to have the same reaction to voices I hear on a tv show, just in person.
I don't know if it is a symptom of my mental illness (the desire for isolation caused by depression, or just the fact that I can't really focus enough to have a substantive conversation), or one more sign that I'm done with life and everything it entails, or if I'm just being an a**hole, but I've never quite felt like this before. I don't seem to have the same reaction to voices I hear on a tv show, just in person.